Beating opiates with a slow taper.

I have once before came off opiates by using a cold turkey method. I had no other choice at that time but I do not want to ever go through that hell again. 2 years opiate free ended when I started taking a hydro 10 just on occasion. Ended up worse off that I was the first go round. I was ingesting 80-100 mg daily. Was taking 25-30 mg 3-4 times every day. I have been researching quite a bit this time trying to find the best way to do this. I decided on a very slow taper. Most tapers I have read about drop a great deal each week. I am not in a position to taper in that way because my friends, family, and boyfriend are clueless and can NOT find out about it. I know a lot of people look at slow tapers as a way to just keep on using. But I have came down from 80-100 mgs daily to a 50 mg a day habit. It has taken me a couple months to et here and I still have a long way to go. I have started this thread to discuss this whole ordeal along the way in hopes that someone out there can find my experiences useful.

So basically my plan is to continue down slowly until I make it to 7.5 mg a day taken in 3 2.5 mg doses 3 times a day. While tapering down I am also adding in positive changes in my life to increase my chances of beating this thing for good. I have started a gym membership. I will begin running at least 3 days a week his wk. I read that physical activity will increase the natural endorphins that my body has become reliant on the pills for. I used to run every day so I'm actually looking forward to this step. Also, I will be using Imodium this time when I get really down low on my doses. I have read that Imodium is actually on opiate, just doesn't act in the CNS so it will help trick my body when it comes to wd's.

I am currently taking 20mgs each morning when I wake up around 6am (I read the morning dose is harder to cut down than the later doses of the day and I find this to be true). Then I take 15 mgs around noon and another 15 mgs around 6. I will take these doses for about another week then I plan to take 20, 15, 10. I find it mind blowing that if I am n need of the pills and someone gives me a 5mg it will so NOTHING for me, not even mild down my wd's, but if I take 5mg less it totally screws up my system. Crazy when you think about it.

Anyways, I will come here and post my experiences as I go and any insight or suggestions along the way are greatly appreciated!! I AM gonna beat this demon FOR GOOD this time!!

Hydrate. That is something I forgot to mention. I have slowly switched to pretty much all water over he last couple months too. It is important to stay hydrated. I have 2 cups of coffee in the morning, then I switch to water and drink it all day. It is the only thing that seems to quench my thirst now that I have been drinking it so much. I can barely stand the sweetness of soda now and refuse to drink diet...so water it is!! This will b very important thru this process, especially at the lower dose stages.

Also I failed to mention that the whole purpose of this slow process if he fact that I need to alleviate as many of the wd's as possible that will occur when I jump off. I know I would live thru wd's, yes I'm scared of them, but I have survived cold turkey once before. I just am doing things so differently this time to see if I can prevent the majority of the wd symptoms so that no one knows I am going thru them. If my plan of action works it will b a softer easier way for me to come off without the extreme trauma of wd's. I know it will be impossible to not experience some level of discomfort. But if I replenish my endorphins with running and hydrate my body give it good vitamins and foods while slowly tapering down my dose where will it leave me at my jump off? That is what I am gonna find out.

And I can honestly say just being at 50 mg daily now as appose to the 100 I was at I already am noticing skin changes and I feel better, not worse. I do have slight discomfort for a few days in my stomach and my nerves when I first got down 5 mg off my day. But other than that I am feeling somewhat better.

I was to the point I think my kidneys and liver were kicking my ass. I think that the water and lower dosing has helped so much with that and I swear by hydration during this long process.

I plan to come out the other side so much better. Not just opiate free but healthy and happy and FREE...period ?

Well tomorrow I will go from 50 mg to 45. I am no longer feeling the discomfort from the last drop, so I'm ready. It's actually more of a mental discomfort than physicL when I made these drops. As I have said, 5mg isn't even noticeable when I take it alone, so it shouldn't be that noticeable when I take it away. I am do determined to quit this madness I am mentally prepared for this drop. I will b taking 3 doses of 15mg. Once I drop I can't go back up ever, so it's a huge commitment.

I hope the taper works! That would be wonderful for you.

I will say however, that tapering with anything other than a long/longer acting opioid like morphine (PPT), buprenorphine (subutext) or methadone (esp. methadone) over a long period of time was the only kind of tapering that really benefited me in the long run.

I've tapered a number of time with other shorter acting opioids, like heroin/hydrocodone/oxycodone. They were effective enough for attempting shorter term tapers (over 1-3 weeks) during the first two or three years of my dependence. Because my tapers there didn't do much to address the psychological side of thing, they never were able to provide lasting relief. I've found tapering with shorter acting opioids doesn't help as much with reducing withdrawal as much as the longer acting ones, especially in terms of the psychological addiction (tapering with s/a opioids only has focuses on addressing/reducing the physical dependence created by chronic opioid use).

When it comes to tapering, I do the best with external structure - which is the particular benefit of buprenorphine and methadone. People do do it all the time on their own, but I know very few people who have been down in the dirt and then found last success when addressing acute withdrawal on their own. It's easy to kick, but that is no guarantee one will find the success they desire when it comes to not using/using without a well rounded support structure.

At the end of the day, whether you're successful or not, the most important thing you can do is continue working to improve your circumstances. Get up, and try again. Success is impossible without trying.

p.s. Before you get down to low in the taper, try and get together some comfort meds such as:

Multi-Vitamin
Tiger Balm
IBU (Advil)
Acupuncture
Exercise* **
Clonidine (Catapres)* **
Melatonin
Diazepam (Valium) or Clonazepam (Klonopin) [Make sure dose is low - it should not be getting you high.]*
Ropinirole (Requip)*
Ondansetron (Zofran)*
Loperamide (Imodium)*
Gabapentin (Neurontin); preferably Pregabalin (Lyrica)* **
Cannabis
Nutrition* **

*Denotes the most valuable.
** Denotes medication that is essential, rather that a comfortable w/d is possible with just these treatments. Hell, at your point in addiction I have been able to eliminate nearly all the pains of withdrawal with Pregabalin alone. If you like DXM, or have enjoyed the high before, a first-second plateau does can be even more effective at eliminating all side effects of the acute w/d. I was absolutely amazed when I stumbled upon that fact, like no one gets a free pass. Although I never really "enjoyed" DXM, I now have a profound appreciation for the drug's therapeutic potential (and relative safety when used properly btw). DXM makes functioning normally next to impossible when you're actually taking it and directly afterwords, so it isn't a particularly practical option for many people's situations (although lowerish dose of 60-90mg can still make something of a difference, it's just not nearly as significant an improvement compared to a first+ plateau dose).


I feel it needs to be said again that the acute w/d is only a small part of the battle however. As Mark Twain said (something like, "It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times!" Plus having to deal with this in private, keeping it a secret from everyone else in your life *especially* those you care for, will make the process much more difficult (read: I am not recommending you tell you loved one either though, that can actually make things much much more difficult). But the better you understand yourself and your situation, the better your ability to deal with it and achieve your success(es).

Good luck - you certainly have the right attitude

I have a whole month supply of gabapentin, about 7 klonopin 1 mg (I plan to cut in half and take .5), 2 valium 5 mg (I'm wondering how strong these are in comparison to the 1mg klonopin? Thinking should I use these 2 valium for sleep on my peak nights at the beginning or save them? Any advice here would b appreciated bcuz I have only taken valium once in my life, lll noon maybe 3 and Xanax maybe 5 and I am 38 yrs old. All my barb use was too many at once and choas that I didn't even remember when I woke up lol. That was with v and x, with the k I was older and just took half a pill to help me sleep and I actually laid right down after taking it and went to sleep. So I'm not sure of the strengths in comparison. But I know .5 k will help cuz I'm so naive to em. I plan to get some Imodium.

I'm also curious about the gabapentim. I have taken lyrica 150 mg before when I didn't have anything else for the moment to help with acute withdraw (more like just panic attacks cuz I'm scared of the wd's) but my boyfriend knew I had taken something. So I opened the capsule the next time and only took part of it. Will the gab feel like the lyrica? I don't really care for the lyrica feeling so I'm hopeful gab will b a milder version lol.

And I can't wait to run my ass off lol. I miss being active and I am anxious to get started producing some of my own damn endorphins for a change lol.

I have been stocking up klonopin one at a time stockpiling them like nuts for winter lol. I am gonna beat this demon. I am mentally past being ready to quit. I appreciate what you are saying about it being more difficult. And trust me, I do know that. But I am a recovering meth addict too. I have been clean of it for 11 years bcuz I was over it and I went thru the program and I quit. Now I am ready to quit these horrible things. I started them bcuz I was n chronic pain, and I hate them with every inch of my being. I haven't had a buzz off of them in years. I maintain normal every day. That's all. And I am ready to b normal sober. My own normal. I want my life all the way back as my own.

I certainly experienced very similar benefits from gabapentin and pregabalin, only difference is one needs much more gabapentin compared to pregabalin. Most people seem to feel 600mg of pregabalin is enough, although you should test it out for yourself at lower doses (like 300mg) as that is a high dose. Generally 4000mg of gabapentin is enough, but the same rules apply (start at 800mg at most; I started with like 150-300mg). The most clonazepam you'd need is 14mg. Frankly 7mg of clonazepam and 10mg of diazepam is plenty. Save them for when you jump off all opioids. Alprazolam is also useful, it's just not quite as much so as clonazepam and diazepam considering it isn't nearly as long acting. 5mg of diazepam is roughly equivalent to 0.5mg clonazepam or 0.5mg of alprazolam.

Do not begin taking any of these meds until absolutely necessary.
Do not begin taking any of these meds until you have jumped off all opioids.
Use the benzos as sparing as possible, no more than 2x-3x/dau; use the gabapentin as much as you need to, but don't go over like 1200mg of pregabalin (if absolutely necessary) as seizures have been reported from some.
Discontinue use of any comfort meds after 7 days, with the possible exceptions of gabapentin, vitamins, and the like. Def stop the benzos at that time. If you have to continue using them, try to stop at two weeks, and without a doubt 30 days at the absolute most (if you want to avoid future problems with them).

0.5mg clonazepam is an ideal dose; it's great you don't have any benzo tolerance/habit. That would make them so much less effective, possible having no utility in your situation at all. Try to avoid benzos whenever possible generally speaking. That is one habit that no 38 year old needs, let alone anyone. Absolutely horrible, even compared to opioid dependence. And the lower dose you can get away with for the benzos the better; they'll stay more effective with lower doses.

Gabapentin will not be effective during the taper (at least ime). If you like cannabis that can help during w/d as well as the taper too, or even after you've detoxed.

Find some treatment/activities to deal with anxiety and chronic pain (even if they're not issues, still take these suggestions to heart as they'll significantly increase your chances of success). Acupuncture and MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) are extremely useful for both of these issues - even during acute withdrawal. Not everyone will benefit from them, so you will probably need to, and should nonetheless, explore other options too. If you find AA/NA/etc helpful a social support network is amazing; if not that try Smart Recovery. If you can afford a therapist find a good one (especially if they have a history of experience with trauma, anxiety, addiction and especially if they're well versed in a technique called Motivational Interviewing), ideally before you jump off, who is not opposed to your plans.

Generally most cities will have community acupuncture services, which are super cheap (it's generally not too expensive; many insurance companies will cover at least part of acupuncture sessions). MBSR classes can be costly, but reasonable ones run about $500-600 (eight weeks). There are lots of free drop in meditation/mindfulness classes throughout the US (if you live in the SoCal region or central Mass let me know if you want any suggestions, especially socal). Krav Maga, Xi gong, hitting the gym, whatever works for you - do it. DO NOT merely rely on benzos (unless at the lowest possible dose for only seven days I mean) for your long term recovery. It might be an easy option, but it'll bite you in the ass long run.

The more you can do to set up a good foundation for your recovery during your taper, the better off you'll be when time comes to jump off. START TOMORROW. Remember, comfort meds are not for the taper - they're for when you jump off. Don't worry too much about your future sobriety/abstinence per say, just take each day of your taper and withdrawal as they come - thinking about your future sobriety, especially if it causes stress or lead you to obsess about personal perfection, isn't helpful.

The best thing during tapering or withdrawal is to focus on your passions. Do things you love (outside taking opioids of course :D), focus on your strengths - you have them in abundance already (you're doing this, aren't you? that's pretty demonstrative of pretty damn impressive qualities). Taking comfort in supportive loved ones during withdrawal can be an amazingly helpful thing, but again only if they're supportive - and unfortunately this doesn't sound too much like an option in your case. So you'll probably have to double down on what you're passionate about. It'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, keeping you fortified and on track. It's what you'll lose if you don't keep trying to improve your life. BTW animals also can make a huge difference during withdrawal, so find a cat or dog of parrot you can spend some TLC on - they'll be happy to return the favor.

If you like to read books like Chasing the Scream or In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts can actually be a fun companion during the withdrawal and direct aftermath (lemme know if you'd like a list). Plus they'll give you significant insights into your own struggle and experience.

None of this advice was thought out at all, just stuff off the top of my head. I hope you find something useful. Good luck. I hope you can do as much as you can now so the withdrawal isn't too bad for you, and you find continued success after it. People have done this millions of time before, successfully even, and there's no inherent reason you can't.

If you have any more specific questions post of feel free to pm me. Also, Other Drug Discussion can be a useful place to discuss this. Ciao.

p.s. and eat whatever the hell you want during the withdrawal process. Healthy food will make you feel better and faster, but it's really whatever you want as long as you keep eating.

Wow. You really have a lot of advice lol. Thanks so much!! It is all very much appreciated!!

Well, you said keep getting up and trying every time I fail. I planned to wake up this morn and take a 15mg dose and then again 2 more times today. I woke my 16 year old up for school, I didn't have to be awake till 7 but I had to wake her up at 5. We have had struggles with this child for a couple years and she have me hell this morn about getting up for school. My youngest daughter brought home lice yesterday so I was up most of the night treating and cleaning. And I am very reliant on coffee. And OF COURSE, my brand new coffee maker, literally 3 months old, decided it doesn't want to work this morn.

This is where I start having problems when I taper. That's why I call these pills and this addiction a DEMON. I promise every time I set my mind to do this WHAM!!!!! All the billshit starts hitting at once.

So yeh, I obviously swallowed 20 mg this morn while I drank coffee that was concocted with a cup and a filter. This sucks. I feel like a failure. I haven't went over my 50 mg n a day in close to 2 wks. It's time to drop down. But every day I plan to do it and I set my mind straight I feel like the devil says "oh yeh? No ya don't!!" And I get attacked from every aspect in my life. And my morn just got started lol. The day will keep coming at full force.

I do need some support and someone to talk to. That's really why I came here, hoping to meet some compassionate people and hoping to help others who attempt this in the future.

U mentioned a list of books I would b able to relate to? Yes I love to read. I actually have about 2 hours to do just that this morning. I plan to go for a run today for the first time in a few months. Running has become a release for me over the years. Funny bcuz 5 years ago the only time I would have ran is if a zombie was chasing me lol.

Anyways, I know today is shot bcuz I can't take any less than 15 on my other 2 doses. That is not my next step. My next step is 15 when I wake up. I have a plan and I want to stick to it. But I am gonna look at today as a success as long as I don't go above 50 mg. I read that once you start a taper u NeVeR go back up. And I haven't. But I'm just kinda stuck at 50 lol. Way better than 100. My kidneys and bladder are already thanking me. I seriously had gotten to the point I was someone's tinkling a small amount before I could make it to he bathroom and the urge to go was all at once out of nowhere and hard to control. I know that might be too much info, but again, I want anyone who looks at this to see they aren't alone. My bathroom habits are changing too. I am not stopped up like I was before. I still am not regular, but at least I'm not completely full of shit (not in that way anyways lol).

Again, thanks for taking time out of your life to reply and offer suggestions. You just don't know what it means to me. I have posted on a lot if different forums and websites and this is the first place I have felt welcome and gotten info I feel will help me.

So yeh, at this point I am gonna have to find a way to keep tapering IN SPITE of my outside surroundings. They are not gonna b ideal when I'm doing this, nor will they b ideal after I get off and and having to fight the urge to pick back up. I have GOT to stop allowing outside interference to get the best of me. Even if they have my nerves shot, I have to remember this is my LIFE I am fighting for.

Oh...and one more thing I want to add. I am also weaning down off nicotine as well. I have been using an ecig and I started with18 mg juice around March and have slowly dropped my mg down to 3. I'm pretty proud of myself for that. My whole plan is to be off of nicotine AND the demons by January 1st. 2015 has been a year of change for the better for me and 2016 will b my year of healthiness and happiness. I just keep on saying that over and over. I have fought a hard fight but it's just now getting to the hardest part. I can't pussy out now. I'm too close.

One more thing...can someone please help me figure out how to edit my About Me section? I'm thinking it's bcuz I'm on a mobile device? I can't change my password from mobile, can I not edit my stuff either? I don't have a home computer so if not this will suck lol.

I'm sorry to hear how hectic your morning was. The thing is, as you so well know, life (especially with children!!!) will throw lots of challenging situations your way. During a taper of withdrawal it's even more difficult to address them than it would be normally - and normally it's not always so easy. Having a Vipassana (insight meditation) or Mindfulness practice is extremely useful here, as it can really make a world of difference in allowing us to best address out situations as they come up. Life being what it is is also the reason having healthy habit already in line throughout your day is so useful.

Running is wonderful, such a great thing you can do for yourself. Definitely keep that up!

I haven't had any significant long term success tapering myself with short acting opioids like what you're using largely because of the lack of structure - something you experienced a difficulty with this morning when you ended up taking more than you intended. But considering this, don't beat yourself up about it. Don't push yourself too much. Take your sweet time. In fact, ultimately it doesn't matter how long you take as long as you keep moving in the right direction.

What's important is that you're trying and doing. Just keep working on it. Try whatever you must to avoid getting in the kind of situation where you throw up your hands and just tell yourself "fuck it", which is the excuse to go out and do something stupid. (Like, "Wow, I am a failure; my situation sucks; I can't deal without opiates; I'm going to go score some morphine/oxycodone/heroin/etc downtown.")

That's great about the nicotine, but I would suggest not worrying about it until you're well done with the taper/withdrawal. Vaping isn't nearly as harmful as opioid addiction can be. If you do quite nicotine before you w/d, don't beat yourself up about picking it up again if you do.

You should be able to do everything in on the mobile site you can do on the traditional site. Some of the icons are smaller and not as obvious, but if I remember correctly there isn't much a normal user can't do in mobile. To edit the about me section there are little pencil looking icons, which you click/tap to allow for changes to be made to your info (or to put something there to begin with).

BTW, instead of posting multiple times in a row, try using the "EDIT" option on the original post if you have more to add. It is located just to the left of the REPLY and QUOTE buttons. They're all located on the bottom right of each post you make.

Once you have a couple more posts under your belt (i forget if it's 20, 30, 40 or 50, but somewhere in there) you will be able to send private messages. I think you can use the blog function to keep a sort of diary or log here about your progress, which is a good place to get feedback too. I'd be happy to check in on it at least.

Keep up the good work! I'll post or pm you a little book list today sometime.

I know this isn't necessarily something that's always fun to talk about, but why don't you ask your significant other or a friend irl for support?

EDIT: If there is anything else I can help you with or do for you, please let me know. I'm also happy to talk to you whenever possible, so let me know if you'd like that too and I can figure something out between now and when you can send pms.

Well, his kids mother was strung out and I am a recovering meth addict. I was prescribed my first opiates for a legitimate reason but then the addict took over my bottle and my life. When we moved in together we were strapped financially and had a really rough time for a long while. We r just now starting to get our heads above water. So there r multiple reasons he can't know. 1 is he ended up raising all of his kids after a 2 year jail sentence because she had lost the kids to the state. He barely got out n time to save them from adoption. So it's already a very touchy subject for him when it comes to addiction. She has never been of any help and now he has to watch his kids go thru the misery of watching her slowly die bcuz all the yrs of use have left her with dialysis and she has almost died several times. He looks at addicts as selfish (which we are) and hates watching his kids affected by the disease. 2 would b bcuz I kicked the meth habit and he has preached to never pick up anything after I got clean. I never told him the doc have me tabs bcuz he would have had a fit about it (and I honestly can see why now) he saw me ending up right where I am at if I ever picked back up...and he was right. 3 is bcuz if he finds out that all that time we were struggling so hard that I was swallowing over $1000 worth of pills a month he would leave. Simple as that. And I couldn't even blame him. So yeh, I know he loves me and he would def support me and help me get clean any way he possibly could, but I believe in my heart he would do it as a "friend" and end our relationship. He has never done any drugs besides pot and has such a strong hatred for them and doesn't have much compassion and zero understanding of addicts and addictions. I just don't see him staying with me. And this is the first time n my life I have been n a happy healthy relationship in my life. Our kids will b grown n a few years and I know he will b the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm just so scared to lose him.

Yes, so it does sound like you're much better off keeping it from him. Honestly it sounds like telling him about it would make everything worse off, afaik. Maybe you can find someone else - friend, whoever, even a therapist or counselor (or just folks on BL, anyone really; and if you do go the therapist or counselor route, be very careful as most of them, whether they have experience with addiction or not, are very very little help and almost as often do a much or more harm and good).

I apologize if I'm being a pain in the ass, as I know you're on your phone posting, however using spaces and breaking up that kind of text into paragraphs make things much easier to read (and encourages others to give their feedback).

I noticed CJ (or someone) mentioned buprenorphine (Subutex; Suboxone; Temegesic) in another thread you posted in. If you can find even just one or two 8mg pill or strip of Suboxone or Subutex, that is really all you need for a comfortable detox (and by that I mean the taper wouldn't be necessary at all). Buprenorphine is powerful stuff, and when used correctly there isn't really an easier way to detox, especially for a habit like your. Def something to consider, as like I said, it would make the whole process much easier for you if you're most concerned about the discomfort of withdrawal.

Yes that is my main concern, not because so much of I am too much of a pussy to go through it. I have been through it before. Just more for the fact it would be obvious to my mate and family and also I can't miss any work.

About breaking it into paragraphs, does it not show when I hit enter on your view? Because I hit enter a couple times before this paragraph.

And I just did it again. I have yet to log on from a PC so I'm not sure what it looks like there.

No, you are not bothering me at all. I need someone to guide me through the correct way to use this website. It's the only one I have gotten actual responses in real time and has been truly a comfort already. I imagine it will be even more so when I make the jump.

I have stayed on my dosage, took only 15 mg at lunch and will only take 15 after supper. I have not used any of the benzo's yet and I have plans to do so until I actually jump. They are too valuable, from what I have read, to waste. I think I accidentally called em barb's earlier lol) Plus if I take one, again, my boyfriend will b like "why"? I figure when I am suffering through trying to get some sleep after the jump is when I will use them.

I have no place to get any subs or anything like that. I'm assuming if I go to the doctor I could get some. Just wasn't planning to go see a doc. But you said if I get then I won't have the wd's? How long would I have to take them tho? Bcuz I have also read that the wd's off those is worse than what I am currently on. With a 50mg habit that holds me at normal I just am not educated on subs enough to know if I truly even need them? I don't want to trade one for a worse one. I have tapered so extremely slowly that I really only notice discomfort when I take the 5mg drop and only for a few days. I honestly believe it's more mental then than feeling anything physical.

You ha said something about taking my time, all the time I need, as long as I'm moving in the right direction. My goal is to b completely off opiates by January 1st of the upcoming yr. obviously if I start the year at even 20mg a day instead of 50 I will still b happy for myself. It's just when I'm stuck right before the drop that I get really frustrated with myself.

Tomorrow I will drop to 45. No matter what the morning circumstances are. I will pray hard and meditate tonight and again in the morning and just do it.

Thanks so much for talking with me. You have no idea what a calming effect it has had to just TALK to someone about what I am going through. I have been slowly dropping and living in this silent hell all this time. Thanks again!!

I am so glad you made this thread Deleriumsetsn this is the most detailed report I have seen on tapering with short acting opiates. Like Toothpaste has mentioned many people say they will taper themselves but in my experience very few make it as far as you have. I think the key to a succesful taper is realizing when you have hit "line of sickness" or the dose where you are no longer getting well. It seems you ahot it this morning. I recommend you stop the taper at the dose you are at for a week. This will let your body start adjusting and hopefully kick start your endorphin system into action.

The other thing to consider is when to start using the comfort meds you have. The natural reaction is too wait until you are totally off the opioids but I suggest starting them the next time you lower your dose. Use them for 1 week at the same doseage and frequency you would use if you where taking no opioids. This will minimize your discomfort and help psychologically. Withdrawal has a way of breaking our will to resist over time so I think avoiding discomfort is very important.

Your doing really well! Be nice to yourself a d try to stay positive.

My advice, make a post recovery plan ASAP. Yes it's great you are putting forth all this effort to "skip out" on withdrawals. However you've been here before. Beating withdrawals (especially on a short acting opiod such as hydro) will be pretty short lived. It's more or less the easy part of recovery. Opiate addiction is a big monster. One that is terribly hard to conquer on your own.. Get a support system. You say your husband/bf/sig other does not understand addiction but I think it's important to get him on your side. You will likely need counseling/therapy/meetings etc. As I said before congrats on deciding to kick that devil off your back. Now make a plan and stick to it.

Your plans to come off by Jan 1st 2016 is great! That gives you plenty of time. Setting goals is the most effective way of achieving them

Something like Suboxone won't lead to a habit and you would get any withdrawal from it when used at proper doses for a week or two. No way. And yes it would eliminate next to all the nastiness of withdrawal. You wouldn't get high from it though. Suboxone works really really well with something like hydrocodone, esp at you dosage. There is zero point (it sounds like, for someone like you) in staying on suboxone for more than one or two weeks though - a month at absolutely most. You won't pick up a new habit from that.

You probably won't be able to go to any old doctor and get Suboxone though. You'd have to see a suboxone specialist doc. They can be trouble without the know how as push you to stay on them for months and months at high ass doses, which will def lead to challenges with withdrawal. Totally horrible ideal for someone in your situation. You don't need more than 8-24mg totally for one or two weeks if you take them properly.

Now will you NEED to take subs to handle the withdrawal? Def no, especially not if you're tapering and can stick to it AND have comfort meds available to you. That said, if would make it much easier, increasing your chances of success. It would also allow you to detox even now at 50mg with ease, especially when used with your other meds like the benzos. And that sounds like it would be desirable.

Don't go out of your way or put yourself in harm's way to get suboxone though, it's not that important if you have other meds to help the withdrawal.

I strongly agree with CJ: take a week off from the taper to let your dose plateau and balance out. That was more what I meant dosage wise when I said to take your time. Its good to take a break from the taper and stay on your dose to stabalize every once in a while, especially when your dose just makes you feel like crap.

Oh and btw now I'm on mobile and you seem to be right - I have no idea how to edit your profile without a computer or tablet.

Keep up the great work!

Regarding getting the SO together, honestly it doesn't sound like a good idea if he's so against drug use. I mean, it would be ideal and would really help,but that's ONLY if he's support and on board - which sounds like he might or might not be (even if he meant well). I know I'd be better off if I hadn't told my folks about my heroin use, especially not at the time I was dealing with early recovery. So that's a super personal issue, there's no universal answer.

Find support that your comfortable with, that's the bottom line, and ultimately all that counts.

And if you use some benzos to help with tapering pains, please use them super sparingly. You want to keep them super effective for when you use them to manage acute withdrawal.

I kinda took the advice I was given. I stayed at 50 mg for a few more days, but I didn't want to go 2 more wks. I dropped down to 45 for 2 days (Friday and Saturday) then on Sunday I only had 60 mg left to get me through till today. I knew how important it would b to have 20 for my morning dose today, so I only took 40 yesterday (2 doses of 20mg). Surprisingly I didn't wake up shitting my pants lol. I took my 20 and now I'm about to take my usual 15 with my lunch, and then 10 with supper.

I just wanted to give an update. I'm still plugging along slowly

Thats good to hear! Im like you I listen to advice but in the end I know my way will work best for me.