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2 months sober

J

Justasimpleguy

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 3, 2015
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33
Hey everyone. Im just posting a quick thread to say im right at 2 months sober now. Sleep is so much easier to come by. Anxiety is gone. I feel normal again.. and it took all of that 2 months to get there.. the other day i was going through my phone and found an old dealers number. I had a FLOOD of memories which was all romanticising the days of using. A part of me did not want to erase the number. I had all of these excusing in my head as to why i shouldnt, and maybe i should send a text and just say hi. I realized this was my addiction talking to me... that devil trying to get me to trip.... but i deleted it.. that in itself showed me how far i have come. I just wanted to share this really quick. Thanks everyone. Ill update again as my sobriety continues.
 
Congrats on doing that! I know that can be a hard step. Personally my g/f and i had been on methadone for about 3 months with no contact from anyone before i figured it was time to delete the numbers. Part of me in a sense didnt want to "what if something comes up?" LOL yeah like what I am going to break my arm and need to call to get some pain killers? I did the same thing with my left over rigs "I should save these unused 5 pins what if i need them?" Sure i could use them for other things and may do so in the future, namely ketamine, but if thats to occur i will buy one, one single one and toss it when i am done i do not need 5 reminders of a past life or for someone to find.

Again congrats its a bigger step then it seems.
 
Congratulations! I love to hear the feeling of accomplishment in your voice.<3
 
That's awesome !! obviously you have the strength and determination to live a better life. Keep focused your doing great !!
 
To those of you who have continuous sobriety, how do you feel you stay sober. I know for sure being busy and productive, but do you go to 12 step meetings? Do you feel it is 100% necessary to go to those meetings or do you feel there are alternatives? I have no problem with the meetings, i go to them but i don't like some of the steps and they make it seem that it is the only way on earth for a real addict to maintain sobriety.
 
For me sobriety is achieved by rekindling the spark that is my love for science. My clinic makes me attend monthly groups and though I attend groups more geared toward relaxation, my favorite being acupuncture, I have taken some of their more traditional groups. They are definitely interesting and I can see how if you are a social person by nature you may actually need them however, for me they are more of a formality of my recovery. Dont get me wrong if not for the "forced" group I would never have found acupuncture and I could easily see that being my "release" if i actually felt like i was in jeopardy of relapse. I also have my g/f who is also on methadone and coming off quicker, so i inherently get someone to talk to about recovery. We both have similar personalities and take our groups together and she is even less social then i am. I honestly think given our personality traits forced meetings probably would have been counter productive in a sense, especially in the beginning like if we had found a negative influence when we were transitioning it could have been bad.

My point is recovery is unique to people so dont be surprised if you need to take several peoples thoughts and mold them into a recovery that works for you. Groups are great for people who need them for strength but if you do not *need* them because of who you are then you may not need them. The biggest part of it is *knowing* you can do it and whatever road you need to take to get to that realization is your own to find! Recovery is awesome because you get to find out who you actually are at the end and it is part of the reason i am so prolific with everything i am doing now, its like the flood gates opened and the real me poured out.

There is no one size fits all and there is no "an addict must do this" you will find that you will naturally discover the steps on your own. For instance at work people use to give food etc now I buy bread and eggs for everyone just because i have the money and dont mind. They dont ask but i feel like after 3 years of being a hidden junkie and all the ways my coworkers took care of me without knowing it feels good to do the same.

You can do this!
 
szuko000 said:
For me sobriety is achieved by rekindling the spark that is my love for science. My clinic makes me attend monthly groups and though I attend groups more geared toward relaxation, my favorite being acupuncture, I have taken some of their more traditional groups. They are definitely interesting and I can see how if you are a social person by nature you may actually need them however, for me they are more of a formality of my recovery. Dont get me wrong if not for the "forced" group I would never have found acupuncture and I could easily see that being my "release" if i actually felt like i was in jeopardy of relapse. I also have my g/f who is also on methadone and coming off quicker, so i inherently get someone to talk to about recovery. We both have similar personalities and take our groups together and she is even less social then i am. I honestly think given our personality traits forced meetings probably would have been counter productive in a sense, especially in the beginning like if we had found a negative influence when we were transitioning it could have been bad.

My point is recovery is unique to people so dont be surprised if you need to take several peoples thoughts and mold them into a recovery that works for you. Groups are great for people who need them for strength but if you do not *need* them because of who you are then you may not need them. The biggest part of it is *knowing* you can do it and whatever road you need to take to get to that realization is your own to find! Recovery is awesome because you get to find out who you actually are at the end and it is part of the reason i am so prolific with everything i am doing now, its like the flood gates opened and the real me poured out.

There is no one size fits all and there is no "an addict must do this" you will find that you will naturally discover the steps on your own. For instance at work people use to give food etc now I buy bread and eggs for everyone just because i have the money and dont mind. They dont ask but i feel like after 3 years of being a hidden junkie and all the ways my coworkers took care of me without knowing it feels good to do the same.

You can do this!
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Thanks and i agree, you definitely do find your self in recovery. How ever sometimes i forget i am an addict, actually i forget all the time. My mind will rationalize that since i was able to quit drugs for short periods of times on my own that i have control. This is where i find meetings helpful, they remind me that i am still a hopeless addict even if i can abstain here and there.

I am trying to find a girlfriend, i feel it would help my recovery a lot. Too bad one of my biggest issues in life has always been approaching girls... although i have always made friends easily
 
^ You have to be careful about relationships when your recovering or transitioning. When I met my g/f we were not addicts we did not do opiates. Both of us had dabbled and thus were ok with oxys but neither of us was regular at all. In fact the first 80 we split was the first one i had done in 6 months and she 5 so we were far from anything close to regular use. Our drug addiction developed together and we recovered together all having known a life with each other before drugs, and i mean like almost a year together with no drugs. That is why it worked out, she became a completely different person from who she was when we were using. There came a period where she kept telling me it wouldnt work afterward and i kept going "why i final am getting parts of the old mandy (subbed name not real) back" But shes right if i didnt love her before hand she is completely different now.

But you need to focus on you, if you dont you may end up hurting yourself. I view it like I am not an addict or i never was its irrelivent to me now. Sure i am on methadone but i am trying to come off as fast as my weak and feable body will allow me to (as in i would drop by 40mg but my body wont let me so i can only do 10mg every 2-3 weeks). I think part of the whole thing is completely moving away from it as in i no longer go to meetings i no longer talk about being addicted i no longer live in my old town i am no longer and addict and thus never was. But i have 0 desire to use any opiates again even when they are around... and they have been plenty of times.

You'll get there you just have to never do opiates again, cross them off the drugs you can ever do again period. Even if you break your arm you tell that doctor you cant get perks, you will get there someday and though you can not let your guard down and do opiates you dont need to act like they stalk you :) This is life and you have to walk before you run
 
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