Day 5 no suboxone

First, let me tell you some info about my addiction. Got clean twice off of opiates the past 3 years. Relapsed twice and I can say for sure that each time, the addiction comes back stronger. The most recent jaunt was for a year (abusing opana mostly, worst shit ever). During this year, I used sub sparingly between using to keep me feeling ok. The past few months I really cut down my opana use (a couple times a week tops) and decided to do a quick 8 day sub taper (2,2,1,1,half mg, half mg, tiny square, tiny square, etc.). The last three days of taking tiny squares, I felt the WD coming on (terrible sleep, depression, anxiety). Luckily I have a script for Trazadone to aid in the sleep department but the anxiety and depression, I'll just have to suck it up. Not trying to take benzos really.

So basically, today's day 5 and I'm working a double. My job is somewhat chill so it's not too tough. Slept on and off last night with the help of meds (6-8 hours waking up 3 times and tossing and turning). My anxiety and depression are the only thing that I really notice consistently at this point. This is my first time posting and would appreciate any support and encouragement. Thanks!

Not sure if the fact that I typically only took 1 mg at a time tops is what's making the wds more bearable. Maybe??

Let me add, the year taking sub, I typically only needed 1 mg a day to stay feeling normal.

And in addition to the depression and anxiety, I have the whole clammy hands thing as well as GI issues (bathroom a lot, so annoying).

I remember my last jaunt, after 7 months of opiate use, I did a seven day taper and felt pretty normal right away besides minor insomnia and depression. This rattle is a little harder tho, for sure. Could it be that I'm not feeling terrible wds because of the small amounts of sub I used to stave away opiate WD?

The half life of BUP is fucking long. Thankfully you havent really been on it long. I can only speak for myself but when i detoxed off of bup the physical symptoms lasted about 9 days before fading away. Keep up the great work man. Find a meeting. Get a sponsor. And youll find the transition away from opiates is much much easier.

Good luck man. Be proud of yourself !!

Thanks simple guy, your kind words mean a lot to me. Not sure if I wanted to go the meeting route honestly but maybe I should. The things is, this most recent jaunt with opes, I really hit rock bottom. Lost a gf I still miss to this day (7 months after the breakup), spent MANY THOUSANDS of dollars given to me as a inheritance (HATE myself for this, gonna be very hard to live with myself for this), etc. I truly feel that this is my last bout with these evil pills due to how far I've fallen this time. I've lost A LOT and am pretty confident that this is the time I truly walk away for good.

I'm gonna keep updating this everyday until I feel better. I hope it can help someone going through the same thing and help them realize that they're not alone. Appreciate any replies, thanks y'all.

Hey man.. your story is identical to almosy every addict. I was anti 12step. Anti groups. . Anti god.. i was so against all of that. But when i hit rock bottom and had no lower to go.. i decided to do something i had not done. And my life has done a 180... brother.. just go to one meeting.. sit and listen. Maybe talk about your feelings. They groups are so welcoming. And understanding. Maube make friends with others who are recovering. It was the best choice of my life. It saved me brother.. drop me a pm if your more comfortable talking in private about this and listen..give advice.. whatever you need. Just know we all feel your pain. But there is only one way to be happy again. Either run your own poppy field in Afghanistan. Or become an addict who ia no longer in active addiction and cage that demon who is ruining your life. Notice how i said cage it? Because it will always be there. We all learn at somepoint how to keep it at bay. Those who dont end up in one of three places. A jail... an...instituion.. or dead.. i dont really like any of those options, so i chose life.. i hope you do too. Good luck brother.

Simple guy, you're right. I probably should attend a meeting and see what it's about before I make a decision on it. Can't hurt.

I feel you about caging the beast too. I thought that I had it caged twice before but was wrong. First relapse was out of sheer boredom and second was due to some deep life-related depression. Meeting might be a what I need to keep straight.

Suboxone withdrawal update, 4 hours left of my 16 hour double shift today (day 5 no sub) and I'm feeling ok-ish. Still anxious and depressed but that was to be expected. I truley feel like I should be back to normal somewhat quickly. Could it be due to my infrequent and minimal sub use?

It depends on how bad the original habit was. But for being 5 days out your kicking ass man. Keep your head on straight. Just keep in mind that if you go back to using.... you start alllllll over. Keep up the great work man.. your almost to your one week mark. Thats a huge achievement in thia disease..

Thanks, my man. Appreciate you. Your kind words are very motivating and I plan to attend a meeting during my next few days off of work.

My habit was bad in the fall before I blew my savings on drugs. The past 4-5 months it's been pretty mild tho. About 2-3 days a week with sub in between. Usually took around 15-30 mgs per sesh tops. I expected to be far worse off after 5 days honestly.

Found a meeting Thursday at 10am. Gonna try it out. Thanks again, bro.

Fuck yea man. Make sure you post and let me know how it goes!

Will do.

Today started day 6 with no suboxone. Got around 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night with trazadone. Still woke up an hour before my alarm clock was set for wotk tho so kinda annoying but not too bad. Energy levels seem to be in a good place which is helpful when working 52 plus hour weeks (taking L-Tyrosine, b6 and multi every morning and 5htp at night). GI issues remain as well as the minor insomnia, anxiety and depression (which seems to be getting better maybe? Can't tell yet today). Still not able to get very enthusiastic about much tho unfortunately.

When does ones brain begin to feel "normal-ish" again? I know it differs from person to person but I really feel like I'm making strides in this whole withdrawal process and would like to think I should start to feel decent soon.

Man. Im really glad to hear your so positive. Thats key.

Im about 5 weeks clean. I can say that the difference between 6 days out and 30 is insane. Im not 100 percent. Bit im really starting to come around. For me lack of enthusiasm was hard. But im becoming more and more upbeat about things i wasnt in the very early stages. You got this brother. Just keep thinking about how your brain is starting to balance itself out again. The gi issues with most likely be there for up to a week more but they will get less and less. Mine are completely gone. Nothing like shitting solid again.. lmfao

Day 7 without sub and I think I'm turning a corner. Got 7 hours of relatively uninterrupted sleep last night which was sickkkkkk af. Was so happy when I woke up -- awake -- and it was 515 instead of 3. The whole drive to work I was in a decent place as well. Don't know if it was th caffiene or a more natural high but I was actually happy and hopeful about life in general for the most part. Skateboarded with my buddies last night and felt great whole doing it. Getting out of the house and doing some sort of physical activity is so beneficial during this time.

I gotta say, the past two days I've def noticed a change -- although a slight one -- in my attitude and outlook on life. Still have general anxiety which I've always had since I got out of the navy in 2007 but I don't feel completely overwhelmed by it rn.

I have a feeling I'm having an easier time with this than most due to how much I cut down on opiates the past four months as well as the low doses of sub I used daily to stave away WD. Never used more than a 1 mg piece per day and only abused pills 2-3 times per week. Man, one week free of pills/sub makes me feel good tho. Gonna hit this meeting up in the am tomorrow. I have to do EVERYTHING I can to ensure that I don't relapse again.