PSTruggling
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2015
- Messages
- 8
Hi Everyone,
Thanks in advance for any help/support/advice from anyone who has any experience dropping PST (or any other opiate, really, as the challenges seem to be at least somewhat consistent among the various opi's). I have received a great deal of information from lurking this site over the years, and thought it may be helpful to use this forum to chronicle my progress and hopefully find some folks here that can relate to my situation.
Like many others that have ended up hooked on PST, I was first hooked on low dose pain killers for a couple of years, then gradually started using black tar heroine, which persisted, as dosage grew rapidly. At this time I also became addicted to kpins and xanax, which obviously added to the problem. About 19 months ago, I found out that my girlfriend was pregnant, and switched to PST after reading somewhere that it could help with wd. Seemingly innocent, store bought seeds seemed absolutely harmless, compared to the h, so I thought it seemed like a sensible alternative and harm redux strategy. Once I made the switch, however, my naive notions of PST being safe/harmless quickly gave way to the realization that I had just effectively traded one compound with a short half-life (and therefore shorter withdrawal duration, theoretically) to a cocktail of thirty something alkaloids contained in the raw opium latex covering the outside of the seeds. At the same time I made the switch, I also kicked the benzos cold turkey (at about 6 to 8 mg xanax and I can't remember the kpin dose, but it was relatively substantial by the time I had stopped), which was another type of hell entirely, as some of you may know.
At my PST peak, I was consuming up to 6 lbs worth of very potent seeds, which I had read before on this site is supposedly equivalent to something like 240 mg oxy, but I have no idea whether this is even remotely accurate, so please don't quote me on that. I can say that at my recent regular dosage of 2 lbs of seeds required 8 or so Norcs for the same effect (which incidentally only lasts maybe 4 hours, whereas the PST can seemingly last 24 hours, peaking 6 or so hours in, seemingly).
About 3 weeks ago I made the decision to quit, for good. I tried tapering, but lord knows I'm weak as hell and tapers always seem to have the opposite of the desired effect for me lol). So two weeks ago, I attempted to go cold turkey, and only made it a few hours into day one before the restless legs, cold sweats and racing mind got the better of me, and I was back where I started. I tried again a few days later and made it through a full day, which was actually about 48 hours after the previous dose, but since half life is at least 24 hours, I'm counting that as one day. Then on Friday, I took a (big, bon voyage, foolish) dose at around noon. Then Saturday I actually felt pretty good, and even slept well. Sunday morning I felt really good and started wondering what the hell was going on, because by this time last attempt, I was a mess. As the afternoon wore on, I started feeling very lethargic and was hardly able to make upstairs to get into bed. But, before I was able to fall asleep, the restless legs came on pretty strong, and at about 230 in the morning today, I caved and took a 22 oz dose, which is about a half of what I took on Friday last week.
I am encouraged that I seem to be making it further each time, but I'm starting to second guess myself and am considering going on subs, but am very hesitant to do so as I feel like, once again, I would be trading one addiction for a (much more expensive) drug with equally long legs and, from what I have been told, a tough, protracted set of withdrawal symptoms.
At this point, fear of the unknown is by far the most difficult obstacle I am facing right now (what will day 3 be like? Is it even true that PST withdrawals are longer than other opiates? How long will this last? Will I ever feel normal again? Etc.)
The most difficult physical symptom for me has been the restless legs. For some reason, this last weekend, even though I went about 62 hours until relapsing this morning, I had no stomach discomfort or diarrhea (sorry), which was strange considering that is usually the first symptom to present itself.
I'm wondering if the repeated attempts to quit, where I am going a day or two without, have had any impact in lessening my dependence. Or maybe it's just in my head. But, if nothing else, I am hoping to at leat use this board to hold myself accountable and to log my experience in case someone in a similar predicament may find this and hopefully learn from my mistakes and/or success in kicking this thing. PST is not a way out, at least for me, and I worry about what effects this garbage has had on my gi tract, kidneys and mental acuities.
Thanks again in advance for any response, I'm in a tough place right now that many here may be able to relate to. For my son, my girlfrind (who has stuck by my side through all of the shit I've drug her through) and for my health, so I can see my son grow up and be healthy enough to participate in his life.
For what it's worth, a few months ago I began exercising, eating right, and just generally taking good care of myself (aside from the dope, obviously) in hopes that this would make getting clean a bit easier, and have lost over 40 lbs.
Anyways, sorry for the novel
god bless.
Thanks in advance for any help/support/advice from anyone who has any experience dropping PST (or any other opiate, really, as the challenges seem to be at least somewhat consistent among the various opi's). I have received a great deal of information from lurking this site over the years, and thought it may be helpful to use this forum to chronicle my progress and hopefully find some folks here that can relate to my situation.
Like many others that have ended up hooked on PST, I was first hooked on low dose pain killers for a couple of years, then gradually started using black tar heroine, which persisted, as dosage grew rapidly. At this time I also became addicted to kpins and xanax, which obviously added to the problem. About 19 months ago, I found out that my girlfriend was pregnant, and switched to PST after reading somewhere that it could help with wd. Seemingly innocent, store bought seeds seemed absolutely harmless, compared to the h, so I thought it seemed like a sensible alternative and harm redux strategy. Once I made the switch, however, my naive notions of PST being safe/harmless quickly gave way to the realization that I had just effectively traded one compound with a short half-life (and therefore shorter withdrawal duration, theoretically) to a cocktail of thirty something alkaloids contained in the raw opium latex covering the outside of the seeds. At the same time I made the switch, I also kicked the benzos cold turkey (at about 6 to 8 mg xanax and I can't remember the kpin dose, but it was relatively substantial by the time I had stopped), which was another type of hell entirely, as some of you may know.
At my PST peak, I was consuming up to 6 lbs worth of very potent seeds, which I had read before on this site is supposedly equivalent to something like 240 mg oxy, but I have no idea whether this is even remotely accurate, so please don't quote me on that. I can say that at my recent regular dosage of 2 lbs of seeds required 8 or so Norcs for the same effect (which incidentally only lasts maybe 4 hours, whereas the PST can seemingly last 24 hours, peaking 6 or so hours in, seemingly).
About 3 weeks ago I made the decision to quit, for good. I tried tapering, but lord knows I'm weak as hell and tapers always seem to have the opposite of the desired effect for me lol). So two weeks ago, I attempted to go cold turkey, and only made it a few hours into day one before the restless legs, cold sweats and racing mind got the better of me, and I was back where I started. I tried again a few days later and made it through a full day, which was actually about 48 hours after the previous dose, but since half life is at least 24 hours, I'm counting that as one day. Then on Friday, I took a (big, bon voyage, foolish) dose at around noon. Then Saturday I actually felt pretty good, and even slept well. Sunday morning I felt really good and started wondering what the hell was going on, because by this time last attempt, I was a mess. As the afternoon wore on, I started feeling very lethargic and was hardly able to make upstairs to get into bed. But, before I was able to fall asleep, the restless legs came on pretty strong, and at about 230 in the morning today, I caved and took a 22 oz dose, which is about a half of what I took on Friday last week.
I am encouraged that I seem to be making it further each time, but I'm starting to second guess myself and am considering going on subs, but am very hesitant to do so as I feel like, once again, I would be trading one addiction for a (much more expensive) drug with equally long legs and, from what I have been told, a tough, protracted set of withdrawal symptoms.
At this point, fear of the unknown is by far the most difficult obstacle I am facing right now (what will day 3 be like? Is it even true that PST withdrawals are longer than other opiates? How long will this last? Will I ever feel normal again? Etc.)
The most difficult physical symptom for me has been the restless legs. For some reason, this last weekend, even though I went about 62 hours until relapsing this morning, I had no stomach discomfort or diarrhea (sorry), which was strange considering that is usually the first symptom to present itself.
I'm wondering if the repeated attempts to quit, where I am going a day or two without, have had any impact in lessening my dependence. Or maybe it's just in my head. But, if nothing else, I am hoping to at leat use this board to hold myself accountable and to log my experience in case someone in a similar predicament may find this and hopefully learn from my mistakes and/or success in kicking this thing. PST is not a way out, at least for me, and I worry about what effects this garbage has had on my gi tract, kidneys and mental acuities.
Thanks again in advance for any response, I'm in a tough place right now that many here may be able to relate to. For my son, my girlfrind (who has stuck by my side through all of the shit I've drug her through) and for my health, so I can see my son grow up and be healthy enough to participate in his life.
For what it's worth, a few months ago I began exercising, eating right, and just generally taking good care of myself (aside from the dope, obviously) in hopes that this would make getting clean a bit easier, and have lost over 40 lbs.
Anyways, sorry for the novel
god bless.
