May Getting/Staying Clean/Sober Thread vs April Showers bring May Sobriety

Today is day 7 with no suboxone. I don't feel great but today is the first day that my nose hasn't been running consistently all day and just that one small symptom going away has made me feel much better.

day 11 clean from heroin.

t-minus 1 hour till my NA meeting. this is the end of my third week of daily meetings. trying for the whole 90 in 90 thing.

happy may, everyone! let's keep up the momentum.

Very grateful I stayed clean thru April
I'm hoping for the same in May I think I will try to not blaze everyday only because it makes me eat a lot of junk food
I wish everyone a smooth may!

Hey everyone! Keep fighting the good fight!

Last month I got 3 days in every week... This month I'm looking to connect them days in to a week; weeks and I'm starting today. I feel like each time WD is getting easier and I accept the fact that I NEED to be sober.

Today I'll even have cash money and I'm jus saying NO. I think this whole soberiety thing had to sink in and hopefully I'm ready to make it more then 3 days at a time!

Keeping goin everyone!!

simco said:

day 11 clean from heroin.

t-minus 1 hour till my NA meeting. this is the end of my third week of daily meetings. trying for the whole 90 in 90 thing.

happy may, everyone! let's keep up the momentum.

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Last night I missed my first meeting since really giving NA a try. I feel ok about it though. I let the group leader know ahead of time i would be late at best and might not make it at all and i let him know why. I did make it in time to smoke with everyone after the meeting though.

Right now i live in a flyover state. In a city of 25K, which happens to be the third largest city in the state. It's desolate, flat and isolated. It's always been where i run to get clean, because i had no connections here and really not even any friends. Just a place to stay and an employer always willing to hire me. Well this last time i popped back into town I decided i was going to stay and try to make friends, try to build some healthy relationships and do things differently.

So i actually became pretty close with an old acquaintance of mine. He'd just broken up with his GF and needed someone to hang out with now that his social circle was altered. He doesn't really use, but he drinks. When we first started hanging out i did binge drink quite a bit with him, until i found a magic wishing well filled with dilaudid and fentanyl and my clean up spot got dirty real quick. Thankfully he was in no way connected to the wishing well and/or it's contents and so i feel safe still hanging out with him. He drinks around me but it doesn't bother him or me that i do not drink with him anymore. I know that if i binge drink i will crave opiates, so i don't. I also know that like one drink makes me black out and fall asleep on the psych meds i take lol.

So this friend of mine is really like my only clean friend here. He's helped me out more than he knows, and has put up with a lot of my neurotic mental health weirdness/bullshit. He's also a single father. Yesterday he had no one to pick up his kid from school and watch him until the kid's grandma got off work. The mom's in another state and is really no support at all. So i ended up skipping a meeting to pick up his son and hang out with him until i could drop him off with his grandma.

I felt good about it. I know he gets shit about calling in at his job and with too many call in days he'll get fired. I also know he's close to that number. It was pretty fun actually, aside from trying to pick him out of a pack of kids at the school yard and feeling weird lurking around waiting for him to see me and come over. Around here there are A LOT of little blonde kids and it was impossible to pick him out of the sea of midgets. He eventually came running over screaming "I knew it was you because you're taller than everyone else!!"

So i took forever to say that i skipped a meeting but i helped a friend and i feel great about it. I am definitely going tonight though. If we had meetings 7 days a week here i'd be doing the 90 in 90 too, but we only have them 5 nights a week and the AA meeting are a little too strict and religious for me.. so i stick with the NA and try to hit 5/5 a week. This week i feel better about 4/5 than i did about some weeks when i made 5/5

Hi,
I am still here on BL, wanting to get off the oxy's but messing up my taper plan. I just posted over on the Basic Drug Discussion forum/thread whatever you call it with some details of my situation, and some questions. I am putting this out there, mostly to keep myself accountable, but I am going to stop the oxy's on May 17th. I have several days free that week so I can have w/d without it interfering with my life. I figure that if I do not get back on my taper very soon, May 17th will suck. I hope this motivates me to get back to my plan now.
Glad to see everyone still posting!

P0kemama said:

Hi,
I am still here on BL, wanting to get off the oxy's but messing up my taper plan. I just posted over on the Basic Drug Discussion forum/thread whatever you call it with some details of my situation, and some questions. I am putting this out there, mostly to keep myself accountable, but I am going to stop the oxy's on May 17th. I have several days free that week so I can have w/d without it interfering with my life. I figure that if I do not get back on my taper very soon, May 17th will suck. I hope this motivates me to get back to my plan now.
Glad to see everyone still posting!

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Hey Pokemama!. If u want, we can stick together bc I'm getting off oxys this month too!. I'm starting today...' I got some days here n there last month, but this month feels different. I jus got done work and usually if I couldnt cop id be off my rocket. But today I'm calm as ever, I have cash in hand, n I'm jus going home!. It's crazy. It's like it jus came over me.... I CAN be SoBER!!!!. So I hope I make this month count!!!!☺☺☺☺ Good luck everyone. If anyone wants to be my SoBER buddy, please pm me!!!

love88 said:

Hey Pokemama!. If u want, we can stick together bc I'm getting off oxys this month too!. I'm starting today...' I got some days here n there last month, but this month feels different. I jus got done work and usually if I couldnt cop id be off my rocket. But today I'm calm as ever, I have cash in hand, n I'm jus going home!. It's crazy. It's like it jus came over me.... I CAN be SoBER!!!!. So I hope I make this month count!!!!☺☺☺☺ Good luck everyone. If anyone wants to be my SoBER buddy, please pm me!!!

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Yes...let's be support for each other... I have been sitting here reading a lot of different posts and I realize that my "problem" with quitting is going through w/d's again. I went cold turkey in 2013, and was very sick. I ended up in the ER with skyrocketing blood pressure, and was almost admitted to the hospital. I am traumatized by those memories... yet, how traumatized was I that after a year clean I went back to my doctor for help with pain management?? Anyway, I am afraid, so if I taper starting right now I will be in good shape to jump off on May 17th. I am getting a houseful of company next Friday, and they will be here for 8 days, so that is where May 17th comes up as my quit date.
It is awesome that you are calm... I think May is a great month to get clean and sober. I am hearing that you are ready to be done with pills!!

love88 said:

Hey everyone! Keep fighting the good fight!

Last month I got 3 days in every week... This month I'm looking to connect them days in to a week; weeks and I'm starting today. I feel like each time WD is getting easier and I accept the fact that I NEED to be sober.

Today I'll even have cash money and I'm jus saying NO. I think this whole soberiety thing had to sink in and hopefully I'm ready to make it more then 3 days at a time!

Keeping goin everyone!!

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I think 3 days at a time is a great start... I would be so happy to have 2 days at a time... glad you are posting!

totach said:

Very grateful I stayed clean thru April
I'm hoping for the same in May I think I will try to not blaze everyday only because it makes me eat a lot of junk food
I wish everyone a smooth may!

Click to expand...

Your post made me realize I did not abuse any drugs the entire month of April either. Here's to making it through May too. Way to go and good job to everyone who is even considering trying to get clean. I think we all know, it's not easy.

I just wanted to say "good going" to all of you attending NA, AA or other 12 step groups to help you in your recovery. I know that those meetings are not for everyone, but 16 years ago I got clean from crack and alcohol mainly with CA (Cocaine Anonymous), AA, and NA. I still use some of the concepts I learned to this day to have a better life.
This sounds so lame, but I would go back again for support around my oxy addiction, but I am conflicted b/c I am prescribed the pills and do not go to the streets for extras. In fact, I am not even using the morphine that was just prescribed for this month, only the oxy. So, I am more comfortable here on BL with harm reduction as the primary goal.
However, I do miss the holidays, like Memorial Day or 4th of July... the clubhouses would have parties, dances, potlucks, lots of meetings and it was fun, and felt so safe to hang out with other recovering addicts. I know that if I get desperate enough, I will put my ego on a shelf, and get to a meeting. Just sayin... nothing is perfect, but those fellowships worked at that time in my life.

Hi, Im here. 3er day. I will stay off drugs all this month.

HERE WE GO!!

If I make it to the end of the month it'll be six months drug and alcohol free. Getting sober is probably the hardest thing I've ever done but it's totally worth the effort. Stay strong everyone. Make a decision and stick to it. Life is so much easier when I'm not getting or trying to get high everyday

hebb22 said:

If I make it to the end of the month it'll be six months drug and alcohol free. Getting sober is probably the hardest thing I've ever done but it's totally worth the effort. Stay strong everyone. Make a decision and stick to it. Life is so much easier when I'm not getting or trying to get high everyday

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Not IF but WHEN you make it.

Im at 3 days again. Kerp going 3-5 and relapsing. Worked out just now for first time in months. Exhausting but rewArding. Yesterday's history tomorrow's a mystery live in the present

Good luck all

olypen said:

Last night I missed my first meeting since really giving NA a try. I feel ok about it though. I let the group leader know ahead of time i would be late at best and might not make it at all and i let him know why. I did make it in time to smoke with everyone after the meeting though.

Right now i live in a flyover state. In a city of 25K, which happens to be the third largest city in the state. It's desolate, flat and isolated. It's always been where i run to get clean, because i had no connections here and really not even any friends. Just a place to stay and an employer always willing to hire me. Well this last time i popped back into town I decided i was going to stay and try to make friends, try to build some healthy relationships and do things differently.

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you and i seem to living parallel lives. i missed my first meeting same day as you, and i also live in the middle of nowhere (in the US). weird.

Doing pretty good, had a dream I was on Phish lot and woke up really fucking craving. Funny thing was, I have avoided hanging out in lots for a long time before shows for years. Not because of the drugs, but because you kinda grow out of them eventually.

Been super busy, GF is coming to visit me today. She is done with treatment but is staying on the site for PHP (a step above outpatient) for the next week or two.

11 Months and 26 days for me!!!


Love to see so many trying NA and other support groups. If I did not have NA, I would not be clean today. No doubt about it.

P0kemama said:

I just wanted to say "good going" to all of you attending NA, AA or other 12 step groups to help you in your recovery. I know that those meetings are not for everyone, but 16 years ago I got clean from crack and alcohol mainly with CA (Cocaine Anonymous), AA, and NA. I still use some of the concepts I learned to this day to have a better life.
This sounds so lame, but I would go back again for support around my oxy addiction, but I am conflicted b/c I am prescribed the pills and do not go to the streets for extras. In fact, I am not even using the morphine that was just prescribed for this month, only the oxy. So, I am more comfortable here on BL with harm reduction as the primary goal.
However, I do miss the holidays, like Memorial Day or 4th of July... the clubhouses would have parties, dances, potlucks, lots of meetings and it was fun, and felt so safe to hang out with other recovering addicts. I know that if I get desperate enough, I will put my ego on a shelf, and get to a meeting. Just sayin... nothing is perfect, but those fellowships worked at that time in my life.

Click to expand...

Heyy! Yea I jus wanted to say that I started goin to NA for the very first time like 3 months ago... I wanna say it helps and now that I've been wanting to be clean(even tho I can only get 3 days at a time) I go and it's been helping w my thought process and also I believe it's making the voice inside that screams "I wanna be sober" come out. This month I'm gonna try n get a week... I'm at 2 days and I have a good amount of cash n I'm saying no
Yea pokamama ur kinda like me.... I'm prescribed the pills for pain management but I go through them too fast. Now I'm intersted in not really taking them and jus getting rid of them every month.

I'm surviving w gabapentin.... That is a life saver. I feel pretty good right now and I know I'll be ok. U talk about the really bad wd u had.... Yea that's a bitch. And when ur steady on them, ur gonna have it bad. Yea the last month or so I've been doing it more randomly but never the less hard and I feel my wd isn't too bad bc my body is all confused... 4 days of oxy 3 days off.... 5 day oxy... 3 days off.... And so on so it isn't too bad and I can handle it w the gaba. But yea pm me maybe we can text eachother since we're both PM and oxy

nygiants1313 said:

Not IF but WHEN you make it.

Im at 3 days again. Kerp going 3-5 and relapsing. Worked out just now for first time in months. Exhausting but rewArding. Yesterday's history tomorrow's a mystery live in the present

Good luck all

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Omg ur jus like me... 3 or so days clean then I relapse... But keep trying is gonna stick one day. I had a weird feeling come over me yesterday and I feel like maybe this time is the TIME. I'm at 2 days w cash in my pockets. Hopefull I'll catch this wind and try for a week..2 weeks... A month. Good luck!!

Olypen that's great you didn't do any hard drugs in April
That's the biggest problem I have with na or aa I wish I was able to say I still drink or smoke when I feel like it and it does not interfere with my life at all
I would even be down to trip mushrooms or take ibogaine again if the situation arose
As long as what I do does not make my life unmanageable I'm cool with it
I will have 3 months of no opiates or Benzo on Tuesday and I'm proud of that
I really feel I'm done with this shit this time around I did it all on my own
I'm sure all the programs I've bin to in the past gave me some tools to help me do it on my own so I have no regrets about going to them even tho I didn't stay sober long
Only you know if you can handle drinking or smoking once you give up your DOC
I wish you the best in your journey you are doing great so far!