Soliciting Advice

So I recently started a methadone maintenance program and am slowly starting to regret it. I can't seem to stay away from oxy even while on methadone. From everything I have read staying on a low dose of methadone is desirable but my cravings are still there. Granted I'm not in withdrawal but continuing this same twisted behavior an warped thinking is not going to get me anywhere but back to rock bottom and alone. I have done outpatient rehab, suboxone and aa but still nothing seems to change/ help. I am currently looking for a psychiatrist but it has been difficult to find one that plays nice with my insurance. So I am wondering if anyone had additional suggestions, tips, encouragement or really any ideas that may prove beniffical to my situation or am I being a baby and need to shut up and just do it. Thanks for listening thanks again for your opinions and advise...

I know how you feel when i tried MMT i also always had cravings and never managed to stay off dope
I just basically had two habits instead of one so i just stopped going after a month or so
It is very common that most people get high for the first few months of MMT so as long as you are using less and less then the done is helping
If you are using just as much oxy and living the same addict lifestyle then obviously the done is not serving its purpose and you need to either up the dose or try to quit oxy a different way
Have you considered detox or rehab?

I was on subs and used them to get off dope successfully and was off subs and dope for a year. Then I relapsed and am on methadone currently 90mg. I find that it fully eliminates the cravings and using while on it is pointless as my tolerance is jacked.

What dose are you on? Have you considered staying with the program and raising your current dose? I know people look at it and go "why would I want to raise my dose its only going to make it harder to quit?" but the idea is that you will slowly taper over time. Sure your taper might be longer but this might actually work for you and offer you some time away from the subs.

I am still taking 90mg but my girlfriend lowered her dose by 10mg twice without noticing anything so shes down to 70mg, she says shes going to go down another 10 soon enough. My point is before I realize it she will be at 40mg which isnt a high dose, but she absolutely needed the 90 for a the first 2 months otherwise she wouldnt have quit, the desire to use coupled with knowing you would get high isnt a good set up for an addict, plan and simple.

You dont need to be on crazy high doses the whole time and you shouldnt hold some apocalyptic "im going to get kicked from the program and be forced CT on 90mg / 90mg Ill never be able to quit" view, it is just so confining. I am just assuming this may be the issue as neither of you said your doses, but if Im accurate please try a higher dose it can save you!