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gratitude

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twistedhunter

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2014
Messages
86
well the last couple weeks ive been struggling with sobreity and have been rationalizing in my head reasons to use. well i decided being unhappy and mooping around wasnt going to help anything so i have decided to get a sponsor and actually be thourough and work steps. i will also be going to a good halfway house and will try to get connected into recovery . i feel grateful today that im still sober today and hope to stay sober tomorrow as well . the recovery section on bluelight has been a valued tool for me as i can see how other people are struggling and how we all try to help each other out. sending good vibes to all fellow bluelighters.
 
So happy to hear this buddy, get at those steps! They work you as much as you work them! So so so glad that you didn't let your disease take you back out. Sounds like you have someone or something looking out for you.
 
thanks man i appreciate it. hoping i can keep staying sober and turning my life around. startting to see that recovery will have to be a big part of my life if i am to stay sober. all i know is whatever can help me stay sober im willing to do what i need to do.
 
I'm Not being in any way sarcastic or reductive when I ask in all seriousness : did the whole 12 step thing work for any of you guys ? Did I just not give it a fair shot? I'll admit the evangelical nature of it's origins turned me off but that's just me... I'm honestly wondering in my dark hours if I could have done a few things differently
 
It is working for me and I am far from evangelical or a Christian. I only attend NA though...

twistedhunter said:
thanks man i appreciate it. hoping i can keep staying sober and turning my life around. startting to see that recovery will have to be a big part of my life if i am to stay sober. all i know is whatever can help me stay sober im willing to do what i need to do.
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Good to hear. For me, staying clean and recovery have to come before anything else in order for me to stay clean. I am in Grad School, Have a Job, An Internship, help sisters take care of my nieces and nephews, see my family, have friends and a girlfriend... but in order for me to have those things I need to keep my recovery first. My experience shows me that I am more then willing to throw all that stuff away in a minute if I use.
 
Congratulations, man! Good for you! If you think about how much of your life involved drugs (not just the doing of drugs, but the scoring of drugs, the hustling to get money for drugs, the lying about your drug use, the shenanigans, everything), it makes sense that at least as much of your life is going to have to be devoted to recovery. It was an awful lot of time and energy and thought that was put into using, and so now it's probably going to take that much of each devoted to NOT using in order to be successful. Awesome job on taking the first steps!
 
I never did 12 step but I'm glad it helps some. It's the evangelical nature of it. <-- devout scientific/analytical type, no real use for the religious side (but I do have a large interest in spirituality of all kinds now, I've studied some Christianity, Islam, Taoism, Buddhism, etc. etc.)

Glad you found your way to getting help for yourself. It can be a miserable existence at times when it all wants to "hit the fan" and even during those good times, too. I learned that I should have a "no regrets" approach but, that it still seems somewhat counterproductive. Becoming/remaining clean really put the enjoyment of life back into my life that I see it was missing before. :)
Keep up the good work.
 
i said fuck AA for a long time, but i saw people who had a life after drugs and i wanted what they had and realized i cant quit on my own. im still not sure how i feel on the higher power thing, but do feel that i am not god so maybe there is something out there. just not sure what it is
 
I'm kind of in the same spot you are right now. Been to a couple meetings, don't really believe in God but realize that I need something else in my life to combat the addiction thoughts. I think if you find the right home group that isn't really huge into the God thing, it could be very helpful.
 
^ for me my sponsor said it doesnt have to be a god, just something that is above me as i am not god. i have a big appreciation for nature so im just saying like spirit of nature.
 
^Your future stronger self works well as a higher power. Think about it: you admit that you are powerless over your addiction. The way I take that is the present you. The you that you are working to create is not going to be powerless over it at all.<3
 
^ i get what your saying but even though im working to be the man i want to be, ill always be a addict wether sober or not.
 
herbavore said:
^Your future stronger self works well as a higher power. Think about it: you admit that you are powerless over your addiction. The way I take that is the present you. The you that you are working to create is not going to be powerless over it at all.
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