chemicalsmile -- Well i started using about 3-4 years ago, and it started off with smoking pot, it never really effected my life, but i loved the high and needed more each time i used. i was spending about $250 a week. so i graduated on to a new drug, no problem with quitting pot (its only the habit thats addicting). i moved onto LSD (acid), i fell in love with that my very first time. i went on a 5 month binge of using every other day. cheap they are, which makes it more evil. using up to 18 hits at a time. so high that my vision is just a swirl of colors as friends try to drag out of parties. this left a great effect of having a permanent psychosis, i get about 3 flashbacks a day. seeing objects, animals, things that i shouldnt be seeing when im not high, i havnt touched acid in about 2 years or so, yet still suffer from this haunting psychosis, these hallucinations while im trying to take an order at work and i see the customers face crawling in insects, or while im writing a test in school and the letters on the exam start morphing into pictures. gave up that cause i needed more to get the same high. i felt no addicition there except to feel that feeling of being in another world. i moved onto Ketamine, this drug stole a whole 2 months out of my life, i used it every day, i of course go the intramuscular route and am lucky i didnt share any needles with other using "friends". scars on my arms and thighs where i was already too high to be handling a syringe. using too much and completly leaving my body, and looking down upon my withered, aged, dying body. i had to quit because i needed too much to even get a high anymore. i moved onto ecstasy which costs much more, and although gives you that perfect euphoric feeling, you also are pretty careless, ive had lots of unprotected sex while under the influence, lucky to say im clean. the burnout on E has been getting in the way of my normal day life and that is why i dont use that regularly. my story doesnt have a happy ending because i am still using and now its cocaine and meth. i dont think im addicted but i dont want to try to quit in fear i might find out i really am an addict. im snorting lines of coke and meth at work, school and home. i am doing it often, but still have been able to manage 2 jobs, great grades and a happy family life. in between those drugs i have done almost everything else you can name except for heroin. i still use E, meth, and coke. im paying for these 3 years physically and mentally. my heart rate is way out of whack, i have burned through about 21linings in my nose from snorting everything, not remembering what i wrote before this so i apoilgize if i repeated myself. i have this dreadful psychosis with an imaginary but very real to me giraffe who i see everywhere, shaky hands, damaged liver, damaged kidneys, damaged lungs, i am so unhealthy and druged up i dont even get my period anymore(and im not pregnant its been like this for a year or so), im becoming scrawny and weak, i look sick and looking into my eyes you see nothing. after seeing all these effects i still dont think its a problem and continue to use daily, while it slowly but surly kills me. but im happy, i really am, or is that also the drugs tricking me. the drugs might control me, they probably do, but i cant come to that realization because its not an easy one to handle. whos in control here is the one question to ask, do i control my drug use or do the drugs control me? all this and im 16. i dont think drugs are bad, i love them, they have become my best friend and have been by my side longer that anyone else. im not promoting them, just remember to play it safe, please.
