Why are women attracted to men who are assholes?

They aren't.
Women are attracted to rich, good looking, confident assholes.
The "asshole" part is kinda like cole slaw . . . nobody orders it; it just comes with the meal.
-- A Very Clever Comedian

At first, it was my intention to stretch the analogy to include other menu items in various savory states, and such further displaying my wit to the Bluelight realm.
Then I realized that it's fine the way it is. I also realized that sometimes I try too damn hard.
Nice one, LL.

Thanks, Kyk, but it's not my joke.
It's one of those rare gems that gets me to exclaim "Damn, I wish I wouldda thought of that joke!"

I think its cuz women give up too easily, Im good looking, and Im well off in my job... <--- obviously confident, and unless you're a dick to me, Im not an asshole

Hmmm. Sounds like what I am in right now.
I am attracted to the hottest guy ever, and he is rich, and he is an asshole.
I mean come one.... he asked me what I was doing for valentines day, and I said nothing. Later on that night... I asked him what he was doing, and he's like, taking this chick out, she doesn't know yet.
Grrrrrr
But I am always attracted to the assholes. To celebrate V-day, I'm going to do a little X tonight...

My Mom and I were discussing this a few days ago, and here is the reason:
When a dude acts like an asshole, like he is God's gift to the world, a lot of women think "Damn, he must be something pretty special, or else where would he get the confidence to act that way?" Both my Mom and myself have gone out with arrogant, assholey dudes because we were taken in by their attitude. And did these assholes treat us well? Nope. Asshole men treat their girlfriends terrible, and trust me the girls do not stay with the dudes because they love them (that is what they will say, but speaking from experience that is definitely NOT the reason), girls stay with these asshole dudes because the dudes tell the girls over and over again that she is lucky to have him and definitely will not do any better. They break down the woman's self-esteem and keep her that way.
Is it right? No. Is it fair? No. And just to clarify, males aren't the only ones who act like this. There are plenty of horrible, bitchy women who get and keep dudes the same exact way.
It is disheartening to be sure, and many times I have asked myself, why don't you just become one of those bitchy women? (And I am sure a lot of your guys have said, why don't you just become an asshole.) After all, it seems like the jerks get the play.
But I guess you have to ask yourself, what kind of a relationship do you want? If you don't give a fuck, if you just want a boyfriend or girlfriend and don't give a crap if the relationship is good, healthy, and mutually beneficial, then by all means, be the biggest asshole or bitch you can be. That way you will snag a lady or a guy with low self-esteem and you can make them into your lapdog. But if you want a nice, healthy, happy relationship where there is give and take and both people truly love and respect each other, don't sell out. Don't be an asshole or a bitch. Be kind and respectful and demand the same from others.
You might not *always* have someone on your arm, but when you do, the person will be someone awesome who is mature, intelligent, confident, and who respects themselves. If you act like an asshole, all you will get is suckers and schmucks.
-Aura
[ 14 February 2002: Message edited by: Azurae ]

it really confounds me - why some people are *attracted* to wankers of the first degree. i don't see any value in a fight or a flashy car or a carefully coiffured blow-dry... but i guess some people do.
confident? i don't think it's a mark of confidence to be an asshole - rather a mark of deep insecurity which is routed by frequent proclamations of how great/big/strong/rich/good in bed the person is. these assholes are the ppl who ridicule others; they're not confident, trust me.
true confidence is being entirely at ease and natural whilst being a nice person. it takes a hell of a lot.
i've had a g/f in the past actually say - you're not man enough, you don't get into fights and stuff. i mean, for fuck's sakes, go find yourself a wifebeating alcoholic *man* then... just don't complain to me when it all goes shit.
[/rant]

i must be the exception to the rule...b/c
I FUCKIN HATE ASSHOLES!!!!! anyone who disrespects me or doesn't treat me well...anyone who walks around like he has a 10 foot cock--is a fucking idiot in my eyes. arrogance/cockiness and being an asshole turn me off more than anything. i don't care HOW cute he is--cause looks are not the reason to like somebody anyways.
to me--the nice guy finishes first--not last. fuck the assholes!! give me a nice guy ANYDAY!!
*** starlight ***

Because LOVELIFE asked this question, I'll actually give some time to answer it truthfully.
Heres a little story. Back about 1 year ago I was this sweet guy who use to call up girls and just want to do nice thigns for them. This one girl in perticular was a girl who I havent seen since 8th grade. I kept calling her and she never answered, until finally one day she did. She said it was nice talking to me and she'd LOVE to see me the next day. You can imagine how excited I was. So I call the next day to confirm my time to pick her up when she says, "Huh? oh shit, I totally dont remember making plans with you!!". She had some other thign she needed to goto instead which pretty much broke my heart cuz I wasnt important enough to remember and she didnt know how much work I put into finding her # and aclling her everyday for like a week.
Yeah, that was a bad story, but the next part is even worse. I started smoking cigerettes because they were basically the only friends I had. I also started reading Tom Robbins and that really started making me think differently. So here I am chilling at this entertainment area in orange county when I run into a very old friend. She was working and told me she'd really really like to hang out with me after she got off work. It was about 8pm and she said she got off at around 10:30, so I said I'd just wait for her here instead of going home then coming back. Well, I waited and waited and waited (in that time I actually ran into Ruffiano, so that was really tight), then finally it's about 10pm and she says she'd rather hang out with her boyfriend. I was truly crushed. I really hated her, and I wanted nothing more than to show girls how it feels to be let down time and time again.
I started telling my 'girl friends' about my experiances and they all said the same thing "Your looking for the wrong girl" or "Dont give up". Well, I did give up because the pain of being hurt got to be too much. So I slowly started to warp into something a little meaner and meaner. I started changing my values. To any girl I met before those incidents I pledge to always be nice to them, but when I met new girls I knew I wouldnt be hurt by whatever they did and in turn I'd try to treat them like they meant nothing to me.
To this day I wont give a girl a present, or ask her out on a date, or even give my # if she is ugly, and most of the time i wont even talk to a girl who has a boyfriend because that means she's not available and i certainly dont care about her friendship. I am an asshole in the truest sense and I have been able to accept that. I keep telling myself that when the right girl comes around I'll change, but how do I know it'll be that easy?
I dont really know a lot about things except I'm tired of the bullshit about being played. I'd rather be a shallow piece of shit who constantly rates girls then to be one of those vonurable suckers that always gets burned time and time again.
Evan

^^^^ awwwww...thats sad
don't give up on everybody though--there are nice girls out there too--i'm one of 'em. i don't have the heart to go out and hurt somebody. at least i try not to. i've been hurt enough to know how bad it feels--i don't wish to inflict that on anybody else. once you stop looking for something--it will find you
*** starlight ***

Yeah coleslaw sucks-ew

Oh please, Padre, if you think you're an asshole, I have some land to sell you down in the bayou...
-Aura

The really nice guys are always really unattractive. Not to sound vein or shallow but it's always been the case with me.
The good looking guys are cocky and think they can get whatever women they want so they treat them like shit*coughs*ex boyfriend*coughs*
I got a friend of mine since highschool that is still chasing my tail. He's sweet and is always taking me out and buying me things but when people do all those things for me I feel obligated to like them or something. It makes me uncomfortable and I told him but he keeps buying me shit anyways.
The thing is that most guys are always nice in the beginning and then you learn that they are psychotic, hypocritical, two timing deranged assholes.

Hmmm, I know a lot of really nice guys, and they all have great girlfriends. I used to be in the same 'really nice guy' category, but I think that like some women have said here I may have been acting a little too nice, and possibly weird.
I have a really good friend who dates assholes, and lots of them, I finally figured that she actually prefered them to nice guys, which she would dump straight away. Im sure that she does this to give her an 'escape clause'. If she ever gets too attatched or insecure or needs another reason to dump this guy, its always ok because he was an asshole anyhow.

spacey - you can't be serious.
i mean, i'm a nice guy. and i'm fucking gorgeous...

When a girl puts in colored contacts, does that really make her eyes turn blue? LOL
Hey, today I want to be nice....let me put on my nice guy cologne (desperation) and see how it goes! I'll report back later.
Sweatpea--Would you eat my coleslaw if I had some really excellent fried chicken and a half-dozen particularly tasty buttermilk biscuits to go with it? Oh wait, a nice guy wouldn't say that....ahem....
Sweatpea--Would you like me to cook you a meal? I promise to include all your favorite foods! Just say the word and I will gladly retreat to my kitchen and spend the day in servile solitude making you happy.

*giggles* Well it's not true in ALL cases Suess!
I'm sure your a cutie!

call me weird, but I give zero shits how much $ he has; how good-looking, how popular, etc, a guy is. if he is an asshole I will not only NOT go out with his ass but I will also not have anything to do with him. If a guy is sweet and gives a fuck about me, I couldnt care less about the other things, they are unimportant completely. if I actually find a non-asshole who is worth my time I would be willing to do some amazing shit for this man. but being an asshole is a total turnoff, you could be brad fucking pitt and if your a selfish egotistical selfrighteous motherfucker you can blow me as far as Im concerned. I take great pleasure in popping their bubbles in whatever hurtful way I can, also. *evil grin*

sunEdltye all I have to say is been there done that. Its hard not to be bitter and start treating girls the way you were treated. I'v been the nice guy and have had long relationships where I basicaly got treated good at first then I got treated like shit after that. Now I'm all mixed up. I am so angry at the way I was treated I can't help but feel it towards every girl I seem to meet though. The few times that I have been an asshole(mabey a 6.5 out of 10 on the assholeometer)I have had girls pay attention to me. Doesn't make sense.

yeah, i've noticed that when i'm a dick most girls will actually talk to me longer and pay more attention to me. i dont understand it, yet after I've been treated it is so easy to act like an asshole and get shit from girls.