Cocaine -- Experienced -- An all night coke binge ending in introspective post

an all night coke binge ending in introspective post

Firstly, I would like to say that I am writing this trip report under the influence of cocaine, alcohol and marijuana so I am sorry if I sound fucked up and I am sorry if I am a dork for posting while under the influence and I am sorry for appologizing so much (ha), but I feel a great need to communicate.
I haven't done cocain for about 2 months. The last time I used was when I bought an eight ball laised (can't spell please disregard spelling errors thoughout this post) with some funky numbing agent that gave you a runny nose for about 3 hours after you sniffed a line (I feel like the runny noses and general shittynes of the cut might have prevented me from binging). It is also interesting to note that this coke gave me small scale yet vivid vissuals of things like horses ridding around in the shadows. The two times before that I just took a couple lines off of my friends' stash when ever some yei yo [cocaine, I love these dork brackets]. By the way, I feel that these bits of information regarding my prior drug use are important to the theme of the post.
My friends and I love getting coke and we are usually in the market but we have a lot of touble hooking [getting drugs]. Last night I finaly ran into some coke and I bought an "$80 rock" off of my friend/dealer(I am not sure if this is relevant ot the post but supposedly it is very pure because it is all in rock form; bullshit if you ask me. Although I will testify too it being quite strong with none of the runny nose effects of my last eightball). $30 dollars of this belongs to my girlfriend leaving me with $30 dollars worth for my self and $20 for my other friend who is going to be a sophmore in highschool next year.
After I got the coke I gave my girlfriend her share (my girlfriend is going to be a junior in highschool next year; I feel bad about exposing these youngins (except I am only 18) to such a hard drug but they both asked me for it, if that is an acceptable excuse). With the powder that broke off I did my first line of the night. Like usual, I felt the effects after about 30 seconds and felt on top of the world.
After my girlfriend and I parted I headed down to a club. On the way I did a fairly big line and smoked a bowl of BC chronic[this comes from Bittish Columbia and is considered to be low quality dank]. I wasn't feeling all that fucked up when I got to the club and I wanted to do more coke. The music was shitty club trance and I didn't have any friends with me so I was not having the best time. I left early and thought a "good" remedy for my dissapointing club night was to go home and do drugs by my self while cruising message boards. I came home and did another line, followed by about 3 more. At this point I was spun [high on coke] very badly and my body, I felt except for the fact that my arms and feet were tingling like mad. This is the point where I thought I was overdosing (mabey I was in fact close to an over dose but I now think that it was a cocaine mind fuck). I could feel my heart beat very strongly then I could barely feel it. I was also breating very deeply. I chilled untill the crazieness went away and decided to drink about 3 1/2 shots of vodka mixed with oj to relax my tense body. A half hour latter I did another line. My personal stash was now nearly depleted and I only had one small line left.
This is the part that scares me. I can see sniffing $30 of my personal cocaine in one night but I think I might have formed an addiction. To increase my high I took a tiny bit from my friends rock and made a bigger line. I then smoked a bowl. After smoking a bowl I came in side and laid down for about 1 hour.
Durring this hour, it was about 6:45 am, my mom came into my room to let my dog sleep on my bed. This freaked me out pretty badly even though she thought I was asleep. While I was lying there, partly waiting for her to leave, all I could think about was the sight of the coke being choped up by my now trusty atm card. Sure enough, she left and I did the rest of my friends coke (bringing my total up to $50 dollars for the night). My "reasoning" was that he is quite young and I don't want to be responsible for the creation of another coke addict. Right now I am spun off of the remainder of the coke and have a second dip [kind of like chewing tobaco] of the night in my mouth (tonight I found (two stimulants, imagine that) that dip enhances my coke high significantly). This is also troubling because I have been battling with tobbaco for 5 years. In the past I have spent mabey $35 on one nights worth of drugs (mushrooms and throwing in on a bag a marijuana.) Now I see my self doing $50 worth of coke in a 9 hour, all night binge. Every time I did a line I told myself it would be the last one of the night but 20 minutes latter, I am craving another line.
I have never had this experience with drugs before and I am affraid of getting an addiction to coke. I currently have a lousy coke connction, so it figure it would be hard to become addcited right now. But, next year I am moveing to Santa Clara (out side of San Jose) and I have been told by a friend who lives there that coke is very plentiful in that region. Plentiful to the point that people recieving free lines is not a rare occurence (I am not sure if this is the case where I will be living but it scares me none the less).
This trip report could probably be placed in the darkside forum but I think it fits better here. If a mod disagrees with me feel free to move it.
I am now left with some questions. Has anyone else had this problem/experince with coke (possibly being addicted after 10 or so uses)? Am I doomed for a life of drug addiction? Am I making a complete fool of my self by posting this? I realize that drugs make people do silly things like post druged out rants but I am on drugs and I need some harm reduction. I am feel like I am comming off as a whiner and mabey I am.
I hope found my post informative and hope you will post your comments and *especially* your experience with cocaine if they are close to my encounter.
peace
stinky

I battled with a coke addiction for almost a year and I promise man the only way to really quit is to just straight up tell yourself This shit is bad I don't want to do it anymore. It's as simple as that. Just keep telling yourself that.

okay, calm down a second a take a deep breath....
First of all, you are not addicted to coke. you said yourself this is your first time doing it in 2 months, so obviously you don't have a problem. What you described in your report is nothing unusual for a normal one-night coke binge. It is normal to want to do more, especially when you're trying to go to sleep when still spun [high on coke]. You didn't have your friends stash sitting out in front of you all night, did you? Because if you did, I don't know of anyone who would have not taken at least a little bit after all your shit is gone, that's just how coke is, so once again, your feelings were normal.
The thing with coke is that you have to make a decision at the beginning of the night as to how much you want to do, and stick to it. If that means leaving your shit at home, at a friends house, or somewhere else then do it. What I would suggest is when you start coming down hard as you were describing, start smoking a lot of weed to ease your comedown and to make you tired. Also, after you've been coming down pretty hard, but you're still craving some more coke, just try and remember how shitty you are feeling right then and if you start doing some more coke those same feelings are just going to start over and happen again.
I hope this helps, but you just need to remember to stay in control while doing drugs, especially cocaine. You control the drugs, they do not control you. But it also helps to have a fat sack of some killer buds for the bitch of a comedown.

Get some sleep and you'll be alright. I was 'addicted' to coke for about 3 weeks and after about $1000 blown down my nose. I just said 'fuck it' and never bought the shit again. The drug is over rated and too expensive. But, I still do a few lines occasionally, usually when friends offer it. Hard to turn down a drug when your a 'yes' person. I just make sure I don't have any coke to take home.

Thank you for all of your responses. I feel a lot better now. Anywho, thanks.
peace

I think a lot of people have had at least a few nights like the one you described. The best thing is that it sounds like you are being honest with yourself.

spending $50 in one night on drugs, you lucky bastard.
although i live in oz and drugs are more expensive here, i have spent $400 in one night on pills, speed, mj and ghb.
my average night on drugs will cost me $100-$150.
coke is $200 a gram down here so imagine if i used that. oh well my rant is over.
------------------
quick man, kick me in the junk

I beleive the negative effects of coke can be summed up by this: it is a binge drug, and it dulls your intelligence and gives you a very self centric and short sighted view of the world. The decsions you make in this state of mind are typically costly. It is however a lot of fun. If you are good at setting things up beforehand so that it is hard for you to make stupid decsions no matter what your state of mind (ie leave bank card/car at home) then it is easier to use coke responsibly. It's pretty obvious you are concerned about your control, that alone probally puts you in the more responsible coke users, I don't think you should worry. If you are sober, the past coke use won't interfere with your ability to understand you goals/beliefs etc. Your personality won't change if you occasionaly use coke. HOWEVER in my expereince, regular coke users are unreliable blow hards who can't be trusted for anything.
Coke is not a strong drug, but it is often abused so that it can be. Repeated use of a drug can alter your personality, towards the drug, coke is not a good personality to be.

spending $50 in one night on drugs, you lucky bastard.
although i live in oz and drugs are more expensive here, i have spent $400 in one night on pills, speed, mj and ghb.
my average night on drugs will cost me $100-$150.
coke is $200 a gram down here so imagine if i used that. oh well my rant is over.

Click to expand...

My decide to binge weekend usually includes an 8 ball of coke (for snorting) and 2 x 8mg of dilaudid (that get muscled), which is stronger then oxy, and costs me about 400$ canadian all told plus some booze. I prefer it to doing any e's, scince I'd rather be stupid then emotionaly retarded, and high instead of empathetic feel good. I've learned to be able to handle it and not go further... It's a good working system, a nice semi-safe rut I'll stayin for a while I think.
Q for the guy who originally posted, are you in canada?

oh yea... I always feel guilty after doing coke... I think if you don't feel guilty, then you have real cause to worry.

i did some coke a couple weeks ago and felt guilty.....but thats because im unemployed and i spent 40$. wouldnt have meant shit if i was rich.

Your experiance sounds a lot like a lot of people who do coke. I always feel the guilt of doing it but it is fun. I guess in the last month I've spent a few hundred £'s on the shit, both crack & coke. I at times wonder weather I'm heading fast for an addiction but I think as long as you give yourselfs periods of a few months between binges then It's easier to stop a habit forming. The shitty thing is I have v good connections for both coke and bling [crack] which makes the battle a litle harder.
It really is a drug that can grab you by the bollocks and drag you down so be carefull, I'd esspecially watch your girlfriend if she has a tendency to chase stimulants.

Thanks again for the responses. I think the reason for the coke guilt is the fact that your/my coke most likely has blood on it. Their is a possibility that someone was killed over the shit your sniffing. This is of course true with other drugs but as was mentioned above, coke gives you a coke personality and that is not a nice thing to have. BTW I am in the States.
peace

Shit Stinky!, what as buzz-kill!

stinky, I definitly agree man. I wouldn't go so far as to say you are a coke addict, but you are definitly mentally drawn to it right now. It's very good that you recognize this and are weary of it, instead of having this additude like you are invincible and nothing can stop you. "Dont worry I wont get addicted, I've never gotten addicted in the past" Kind of additude.

I personally dont find that coke has a very daily addicting force, although I'm sure it can. I find it to be most addictive (as you said) in binges. Once you have done a line and gotten the feel, you want to keep bumping all night and stay at that level.

What I have done is gotten it in my mind that I KNOW the lines will get progressively worse and I wont be able to sleep. So I cut myself off so I can have fun another night. Not gonna say its easy, but I manage to do it.

Coke and Ambien go great together. After your last line, take two Ambien and sleep off all the comedown. Works for me, might also work for you. I think most of the guilt manifests itself on the comedown because it feels so shitty and you ended up spending way more money or snorting more coke than you had originally planned to.

$50 for a night of coke aint bad just keep it under control and use in moderation... ppl around here buy an 8ball for * and snort it up in about 8 hrs so you didnt do too bad.

[edit: prices removed. price discussion is not permissible on bluelight]

I'm not sure if you are still around on BL, but it would be interesting to know how you're doing with the coke issue....
Thanks for the post!

kickedinjunk said:

spending $50 in one night on drugs, you lucky bastard.
although i live in oz and drugs are more expensive here, i have spent $400 in one night on pills, speed, mj and ghb.
my average night on drugs will cost me $100-$150.
coke is $200 a gram down here so imagine if i used that. oh well my rant is over.
------------------
quick man, kick me in the junk

Click to expand...

$200 DOLLARS A GRAM?!?!?!


It's like $40 per gram around here. jeez

Well I've found when dealing with addictive drugs (I don't do coke, I've done it once and didn't like it) is you have to take what you want to do out with you and leave the rest at home. When I was doing OC I would always take some with me and leave the rest (and a little pot at well) at home. If I started doing that shit by myself at home no matter how hard I tried I usually end up with either nothing or maybe 10 mgs left so I didn't feel shitty in the morning.