Gata Confess

Sooo, today is 10 days clean from opiates. Double Digits! Woo! But At work I tried to get a friend to give me a 60mg Morphine.... Booo!
Being the good friend that he is, he fucked with me and pretended to go get it.....

Sliped me a 15 mg adderal and told me to go fuck my self.

I am glad he didint, but fuck... the funny thing is I feel fine!
But as soon as I think about it its like every single cell in my body is telling me to go pick up.....

I think Burroughs said that too in Junky......

Anywho, after work I went and met my old dealer ONLY to go give em the money I owed... after which I deleted the number.

She told me she was proud of me and agreed to delete my number. What a pal!

Now.... can yall tell me im a dick for tryin to score....

Adderall seems to help me function better with the opiate withdrawals.

It certainly does, just.... how long is OK to take speed "for the PAWs"?

ExInMil said:

It certainly does, just.... how long is OK to take speed "for the PAWs"?

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I have no idea, but I think if you avoid taking it every day (like just take it on days that you need to function, see your lawyer, etc.), that you can probably take it longer than if you go all fiendish and start eating it like candy all day, every day.

That's the way I do it, it is for days when I have to sit there staring at spreadsheets and figure out what the hell they are trying to say to me.
Along those lines, I save up that kind of mental thinking task, and do them all on the same day as well.

Yeah I suppose I wasint looking for an amount, just looking for the go-ahead. The problem is, I turn everything into heroin.....
Im not in school this semester but as soon as I am im sure ill be popin em left and right.

Well, watch out for the secret marines...

Space Firebird said:

Well, watch out for the secret marines...

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I'm..... not sure.... what that means......

Take enough amphetamines and you will know.

BTW, with respect to your original comment; good going on staying away from the opies.
It is a dead end road and you of all people should already know better than to even cursorily consider taking them again.

Space Firebird said:

Take enough amphetamines and you will know.

BTW, with respect to your original comment; good going on staying away from the opies.
It is a dead end road and you of all people should already know better than to even cursorily consider taking them again.

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As in the psychosis form the sleep debt? yeah... I know all too well about that as well.....

But thanks for the encouragement. Always in need of that.

^^ I don't know if they were marines, government agents or time cops but I've certainly hung out with the shadow people before.

I would try to stay away from the amps as much as possible - If low doses help you out a lot being able to function then go ahead and use them especially if you have to work and can't take some time off. Just be really careful about cross addiction, I'd suggest not taking high doses to get high at all just take medicinal amounts in order to get through work and things like that and not everyday if you can manage, just when you really don't have the energy to get shit done.

If you exercise regularly your natural energy will pick back up much more quickly, coupled with eating healthy and you should be feeling up to par within a few weeks. Congrats on 10 days by the way! It might not sound like a lot but considering how many people never make it that far it real is an accomplishment!

I think Burroughs said that too in Junky......

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Fantastic book, I think he did describe cravings like that if I'm recalling correctly. And now that I think about it I never finished reading that, I think I might reread/finish it sometime soon.

for sure CF, I myself cut 'em in half, just enough to take that stupid look off my face.

Yea since that day I havint taken any more, especially since I am afraid that they will disrupt my precious 3-4 hours of sleep each night.

As far as reading Junky,
Its a short read and well written. Naked Lunch on the other hand is too much for me, too skitzo to enjoy.