Saying the Word "Never"

It's a grand experiment in my case, but much of the literature that comes down on the side of using logic to solve the problem of addiction addresses the problem as one of Cognitive Behavioral Modification; separating out the two components of the brain that are locked in combat.

One the one hand is the Booze brain, Beast, Mid-Brain, whatever you want to call it that begs for more of the off limits substance or behavior.
It is never satisfied.

In the other corner we have the slick, modern neo-cortex, applying the brakes and setting the limits on our behavior, always watching for potential slips and then telling us "no, no, no, you can't do that!"

One strategy to shut up the dumb cave man brain is to tell it "I NEVER use." It doesn't know what to do with this, it doesn't conceive of many things, *time* being among the foremost, so "never," is a death sentence of sorts. It is a block wall that cannot be gone through or around.

I am experimenting with tapering, and I have not yet attained the clarity as to how to get this word "never" into my lexicon, while at the same time allowing myself to use.

After having stabilized my dose and finally decided on an appropriate taper schedule I think that I am in a position where I can begin to use this word "never" to my benefit.

I *never* dose early, and I *never* take extra, period.

Just saying that I don't know how well this is going to work I can see midbrain trying to gain a foothold by injecting doubt and saying "how can you possibly make such an absurd claim in public?"

Well, there it is:

I *never* dose early, and I *never* take extra.

take that you monkey

I think there are pros and cons to this approach. If it works then that's fantastic - but if it fails, then you feel like YOU have failed and have the potential to be much harder on yourself. "I said never but I did it anyway, man I'm a fucking loser..." I personally like to avoid saying never at this point because of how many lines I crossed in my addiction that I told myself I would "never" cross. It's a catch 22, in my opinion. But if it helps you train your willpower and internal discipline then go for it.

I never tell my brain never..someday just not today... and I dont count days so it doesn't know how many days I have been telling it that. well I guess it does now but its not that bright.. really manipulative and sly but absolutely the pits at problem solving..

But the frontal lobe assumed majority executive control awhile ago once it was able to see through the limbics illusions and Manipulation. I tell it that at the very end if we can we will sneak in a session, though if that time comes I doubt either of us will want to but you never know.

I really like "One Day at a Time."
I figure if I have any chance of tapering it is going to be a matter of "never" deviating from the exact plan for a few weeks while I get it done.
After seeing what it feels like when the doses are wearing off, I need to make this tapering work.
Yes, I have been told repeatedly that it can't be done; however CT off of this amt of OM would be through the roof.

I think that "One day at a time" grounds you in the present and "never" takes you away from the present into the future. Since the present is where any choice you make is actually made, anything that keeps your full attention there is a good thing.

Saying never seems to work for some people but I have seen it undermine more than it helps. I guess like everything it is a matter of getting to know yourself and what best supports you psychologically.

It's funny because you all seemed to look at "never" as a word that is centered in the future.

I think what I am in fact saying (strange as it may seem) is "never / now."

You see it is always "now' for the MB, it doesn't think about the future.

So if I never use "now," that's more along the lines of "one second at a time;"
there is no future time to be concerned with.

It is a more factual approach in my mind,
as I don't believe the future or past to be real, but exist only in imagination.

If I were to say that I am "never" going to use again...," I feel discomfort when I say that...

The trick I am using is to battle the MB on its own turf, as in "I 'never' use 'now.'"

This keeps the implied directive firmly rooted in the present,
or at least that is the way that I am intending to employ it.

That makes sense!

i personally do not like using "absolutist" phrases. "never", "always", etc. to me, it seems like i'm making a promise by saying it, and then if i do the opposite i feel like i'd be breaking a promise to myself. i know it probably sounds odd, but that's why i usually avoid phrases like that, unless it is 110% true that i "never" or "always" do something.

ad lib said:

i personally do not like using "absolutist" phrases. "never", "always", etc. to me, it seems like i'm making a promise by saying it, and then if i do the opposite i feel like i'd be breaking a promise to myself.

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Just playing the Devil's (Jack Trimpey) advocate for a moment here.

For just this very reason, if you made such a promise to yourself, is it possible that you might be more inclined to suck it up and keep the promise going when the going gets tough?

I mean, that is, if you are making the goal attainable in the first place.

Space Firebird said:

Just playing the Devil's (Jack Trimpey) advocate for a moment here.

For just this very reason, if you made such a promise to yourself, is it possible that you might be more inclined to suck it up and keep the promise going when the going gets tough?

I mean, that is, if you are making the goal attainable in the first place.

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I like that viewpoint- that actually makes sense. I hate to let others and myself down.

I have a subscription to daily meditations from White Bison, a native American group that uses the medicine wheel as a philosophy for wholeness as well as healing from addiction. A few days ago they had a meditation about not saying "never" but saying "just for today" as a way to deal with cravings and temptation. The idea was to do exactly what you described earlier,firebird--to use the word never in the context of now.

The medicine wheel teachings are all about balance and the middleway. This has always made so much sense to me.

Despite it's stereotypical use, I find the 'just for today' paradigm most helpful. While it can serve to justify relapse ("just for today I'll use again") I think the flipside is more damaging ("I can't stop for today, I'll never get clean")

I've only had a few successful 'todays' in recent memories but a lot less 'never'. But string a lot of 'today's together and 'never' starts feeling obtainable.

One day at a time never fails me.

Sometimes I say "not now!"

Right.. someday, just not now.

ilikestims said:

One day at a time never fails me.

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Sometimes, one hour at a time.. Helps when craving is too much

Someone on here broke it down to 15 minutes because that is how long a typical craving lasts.