View Full Version : Sorority Hazing ahhhh
My dumbass thought it would be fun to pledge for the top sorority at my school. It has just started and hazing is at an all time worst. I have 6 weeks to go and already shit is making me upset. Is anyone in a sorority or frat, and what motivated you to keep going?
Today I was walking down the street after class and caught a little snippet of conversation:
Sorority girl 1: So one of the sisters found the bag and there was this videotape in it
Sorority girl 2: Oh yeah, I heard about this...
Sorority girl 1: Yeah you probably did. The videotape showed all the brothers (here she lowers her voice) jacking off into the ice cream together!
Sorority girl 2: (speechless)
/\ Identified as sorority girls because of greek symbols displayed on their clothing.
Whoaa, crazy stuff heard on the streets! Good luck though, be strong :D
what keeps you going? hopefully you really do want these people as friends. hopefully you deeply want to be involved w/ this organization. If you don't, if you're luke warm on the subject then get out now. It's not getting better its going to get worse. Hazing is something that everyone in the organization has gone through and accepted because they want to be part of something. It kinda sucks but in good greek organizations its done as constructive activity, not destructive. The quote about the ice cream made me sick :(
[ 26 February 2003: Message edited by: cravNbeets ]
The greek system is for people that can't make their own friends and prefer to buy them. Save your money and make friends by talking/getting to know people. And also, why would you go through getting hazed just for the privilage of them being your "Brother/Sister." Unless you are another one of my parents kids that I am somehow unawre of, please don't call me brother. I can't think of anything more stupid than the college greek system. My advice: get out before it is too late.
I'm from Australia. I truly don't get the sorority/fraternity thing... organised cliques? This is sanctioned by the school?
I can see how in some instances they would help by creating a sense of solidarity and "belonging", I guess, but with that is the very real potential of segregation and alienation too.
I thought the purpose of school was to create acceptance, not promote exclusivity.
I dunno... I might feel different not standing on the outside looking in. And I guess the only real 'sense' of this we've had is from cheesy American college movies. But is anyone else getting my point?
I don't think there are many of us that believe hazing doesn't happen, but that we don't see the point in it continuing. It isn't something that *has* to happen for the continuation of some feeling of brother or sisterhood, no matter what some people may believe. To let it go on is to agree to it, and to support future hazing, because you know that you aren't going to get in, and then help decide not to do that to future pledges.
There are plenty "service organizations" that you can join on an average campus that will allow you to serve your community...there are plenty of friends to be made, bars to frequent, moments to share, etc without having to participate in something so outdated and silly.
Self-humiliation for acceptance from nobodies dosen't sound very worthwhile to me. Instead of that why dont you dedicate your time to volunteering or doing something good for yourself rather than be degrated by a bunch of worthless beeotches who are no better than you?
I can think of hundreds of better ways to direct my energy in 6 weeks than putting up with that nonsense! You know exactly what you are doing...you put yourself in the position to get mis-treated, you shouldn't be asking for advice on how to cope!
Funny, but sad in a way because it's true:
i'm pledging a sorority as we speak. it's a non-hazing sorority. if you are having trouble with hazing, maybe the girls aren't the right group for you. there ARE non-hazing greek groups. look for the one that fits in every aspect. good luck hun..if you need any help, my AIM is Elle0705.
if you are going to pledge in one, finding out if they haze and refusing to join if they do is possibly a good move for other reasons as well
If hazing *does* come to the attention of school authorities (i.e. something harmful happens and it makes the local news) then they pretty much have to take action on it. I've seen several greek chapters banned at a campus and their actions officially comdemned by the national head of that frat or sorority because of this. Wouldnt it suck to invest all this time and emotional energy in something to have it all wasted for something silly?
I was in a sorority for 4 years at San Diego State. I even ran for president one year after being on council for a year already. Granted we were not what people considered a "top house" we definately weren't the worst, you all know who those are. To be honest, I never did anything I thought was degrading or that personally offended me. Sure things were done that people could have considered hazing but nothing was ever done to me that I wouldn't do again. I was never forced to drink, circle my fat, wear matching bra and underwear....although I had friends in other houses that all had to do all these things.
What you really should be thinking in all of this is would you feel comfortable doing this to someone else next semester, and are these people you really feel are your friends and you identify with? or is this a house you joined out of popularity?
I was part of fraternity then things just got boring, its a game they play with you and after the game its boring. Yeah you get to meet people but most of them are fake and are dumbasses. Friends are not made with money but rather with your personality.
sororities and frats are for kids who are still clinging to high school life...
Partygirl~ what happened? Did you stay or leave? Has it gotten any better?
People freakin kill me. How is bashing something that you've never been a part of constructive to this girl's situation? The narrow mindedness of some people is astounding.
Frats/Sororities also build connections for when you graduate.. as well provides you with friends..
I know Towson U has some bad hazing hehe.. go in the woods and throw eggs at you while your blindfolded naked..
One of my friends joined a frat once and they blindfolded him and put him in a van and drove around and dropped him off somewhere and he had to walk back to campus even though he didn't know where he was (supposedly) .. lucky for him it was his old neighborhood and his grandmother lived right around the corner hehe...
Think about how lucky you are to have gotten into the top sorority at your school in the first place. I'm sure there are lots of girls on your campus who didn't get bids and would have loved the opportunity. I rushed twice before I left college and didn't get bids from any of the good sororities, and I don't think any amount of hazing could have made me feel like a lower piece of shit than getting rejected twice! That may not be the best answer, but you did ask for motivation. Good luck, and hang in there!
The benefit of networking through a fraternity or a sorority is not unheard of. I got my job before finnishing school and started work 5 days after I finnished classes because of a sorority sister. Its not just some lame job either. I am working for the 5th largest consulting firm in the world. So, some say you are buying your friends but hey, I bought myself a future.
oh yeah, and free grad school!
[ 06 March 2003: Message edited by: PixieGirl ]
Only In Dreams
I joined the top sorority at my university, Zeta Tau Alpha, there was no hazing at all. Im not sure what is up with the school you are at or if the sorority you are pledging is a national one, but they shouldn't be hazing you. If the sorority I joined had started that shit I wouldn't have stuck with it.
Maybe you should rethink your decision because I personally think hazing is bullshit.
Sororities can be crappy anyway... its a bunch of girls occasionally getting along, but for the most part it can be very catty. But then it all depends.
The greek system is for people that can't make their own friends and prefer to buy them. Save your money and make friends by talking/getting to know people.
This is completely untrue. Any organization you join costs money. I continue to think this is the lamest thing I have ever heard. Yes you make friends in a sorority, but you dont pay to get them. Any club that you join you pay money to belong too. And all the money you spend in your club/organization usually comes back to you in the form of parties, socials, dances, vacations, dinners and so on.
If joining this sorority is really what you want then hang in there. Just dont compromise yourself for whatever hazing. There are tons of pros and cons about being involved in greek life. There were times I wanted to drop ZTA and times I was glad that I was apart of it. It made me really proud to be in the top sorority and I have some great friends. Girls who I went through college with, went to their weddings, girls who will stand in my wedding and I hope to one day raise my kids with theirs.
Good luck with this, just remember not to compromise yourself for anyone else.
"sororities and frats are for kids who are still clinging to high school life... "
TRUE DAT..I dunno about you, but I'm not shelling out thousands of dollars for a pathetic, meaningless social life with a bunch of fuckwads who cannot find something better to do with their time..You can always point out those who actually have a future in college, and those who are screwed..
"Frats/Sororities also build connections for when you graduate.. as well provides you with friends.."
So you're telling me you're so weak you can't build BETTER connections and friends by yourself, with your own intellect and willpower?
I know a few of us, and this would include myself, are not so pissy or odd feeling towards those that do join greek organizations, BUT I know that I only wish I'd had that much extra money that I didn't need for my rent, or bills, or books, etc. I can say I wouldn't have joined anyway, but when you consider that only people that have this extra income to contribute to an organization, then you are automatically allowing only certain people to join anyway.
This is the worst time of my life...but each and EVERY single member says it was all worth it. The money is not buying friends, it supports the group. I want to be in this for a lot of reasons. For one these girls proved to be fun and cool as shit before hazing begun. Secondly, I want to be involved in somehting, and these girls all went through this which creates a bond like no other. Lastly, im doing this to prove to myself that i am a strong person and i can finish somethin ihave started. I am in the second week and realize i have about 6 more to go, so its going to be a rough time but i knwo in the end it will be worth it.
^^hun, compromising who you are or your personal integrity for a group of girls is not right.
my roommate is being hazed INCREDIBLY hard, cigarettes burned into her hand, forced to eat nasty food combos, forced to sleep in the woods, etc.
she has the same mentality that you do. says that if she drops, she will be weaker than the rest and she's doing this for the girls. i wish she would wake up and realize it's not like that.
my sorority is non-hazing. you know what we do at night? smoke a blunt together while watching comedy central. or go out to the bar and to dance. they buy us gifts and we give them poems. that's how you should be spending your pledge process. they shouldn't break you down. they should always just be building you up and forming a permanent bond with you.
please, if you are uncomfortable with ANYTHING they are doing to you, realize that it IS illegal. there are people you can tell that will help you get out. some kids end up seriously hurt or dead due to hazing and "hell week." in the mean time, seriously consider if they are worth it. if you need any help with this at all, like i said, just IM me and i can get ahold of someone that can help you. my SN is Elle0705.
[quote]Originally posted by HydrA:
sororities and frats are for kids who are still clinging to high school life...
The difference in fraternities and sororities across the nation makes your statement stereotypical and uniformed. Perhaps a simple "the majority of" tacked on at the beginning of your sentence would make it carry more weight...
that being said i was in a fraternity at a small liberal arts school where over 2/3 of the male student body were in fraternities. why? well for one reason it was actually cheaper than living in dorms.
I underwent hazing and I remember times when I would be very mad. Thinking about it now I realize that I was never in any real physical danger. After it went on I recognized the absurdity of it all and just went along with having a smirk on my face. You build friendships doing stupid shit with people. I didn't "buy" my friends - I simply made friends with them by undergoing bad and good times. I mean, fuck, isn't that how lots of people make friends in the first place? I would say that if you like the people in the sorority just blow off all the stupid shit. If what is happening makes you dislike the people - then by all means get out. I realized early on that the "brothers" were not pricks, just carrying out customs. Our pledgeship was quite different as all of us pledges and brothers lived in the same house from the very start of freshman year.
I probably wouldn't like 97% of all the fraternities in the country, but I liked mine and ultimately that is the criterion you must go by when considering whether you want to put up with what goes on....
People should be responsible for themselves - if you don't want to be a part of a private institution then just leave. If you want to stay then stay.
[quote]Originally posted by Elle07:
please, if you are uncomfortable with ANYTHING they are doing to you, realize that it IS illegal. there are people you can tell that will help you get out.
Its not a gang. You don't have to "die out" of your pledging period. If she wants to leave she's free to do so.
^^understood that it's not a gang, but you need to look more closely at the social cliques sororities are. maybe it's different for her school, but mine is very rough.
my roommate is pledging the most difficult and most popular sorority and i know that if she drops, they will ridicule her until the end. first off, they will try to keep her pledging just so she doesn't tell anyone about their hazing process. then if she finally drops, they will tell everyone about her, from frats to other groups on campus, and a chain reaction will occur, with everyone giving her shit until she can't stand it anymore.
the mentalities that hazing sororities force on their pledges are very harsh and dropping them is a difficult process. thats all i meant.
[quote]if she finally drops, they will tell everyone about her, from frats to other groups on campus
That's a pretty good deal - she'll be getting rid of all the assholes in one go ;) And the ones who actually still treat her with respect after she drops are the only ones worth keeping anyways.
It's one thing to join a group or organization which brings together people of common interests.
It's entirely another to join a group with the hope of becoming 'somebody' by association.
Here in Canada, there are very few fraternities and sororities.
I have some questions:
What are the criteria for joining a 'top fraternity or sorority'? - Are cosmetic qualities considered over acedemic?
Is there much emphasis on being exclusive between the established members to the outside community?
Do the groups do charitable work, or work in any way to help anything but their image?
Is superficial behavior and shallow posturing promoted or exercised by members within the group?
What is the Greek significance when the members aren't necessarily Greek?
Do you recieve a comprehensive budget outlining how your funds are being distributed throughout the group's activities?
What are those activities?
Do some fraternities or sororities discriminate racially?
What's with the 'no girls allowed' approach to fraternities? - Why not have a co-ed group?
[ 10 March 2003: Message edited by: Kyk ]
I am in a sorority at San Diego State and found the pledging experience, which was about 6-7 weeks, a time of self-help. I learned a lot about myself and how to compromise when working with a group of girls who all come from different backgrounds, etc. than you. It was personally rewarding and I didn't "buy" my friends. People who say such stuff are so close minded. You cannot speak until you have experienced it yourself. I paid dues and with this dues money we all had social events which the money from the dues went to (food, beverages, alcohol, decorations, movies, arts and crafts) etc..We also did community service events as well. The bond that I share with the other girls was a once in a lifetime thing..the pledging experience is memorable, a time for you to bond with the other girls and develop trust amongst one another...they have come through for me countless times as well. They are all there in a heartbeat, like family, if your car breaks down, if you need to call them at 2 in the morning crying your eyes out about your boyfriend, etc...Of course you are not going to be best buds with all of them, just as in all cases u will click with some more than others...don't take my advice though..follow your heart and remember, many don't get to experience it..All in all it heightened my college experience and in a positive way. I'm glad tha
Frats are great. The people you meet once you join becomes a solid relationship. It is also good for contacts when you graduate.
I'm a 3rd year PIKE (PI Kappa Alpha)
It's a excellant place to meet people. It was stated that Frats don't care about cosmetics, this is not true. Usually the try to pick the best looking and intelligent person.
Greek life is good, go for it, you won't regreat it.
Pike all the way,
Only In Dreams
Wow.... I suppose if Greek life was anything like some of you explain it is at your campus, I would never have went through Rush or joined. At my University, all the girls in every Sorority were so nice. Throughout my whole pledge semester I got taken to lunch and dinner and had sleepovers. We dont have houses in New Orleans because of the crack house laws, plus all the sororities here are so small. The one I joined was the only one that ever reached total, which at the time was 45. Since I have left school the total has been lowered.
Since we didnt have houses, we had tables in the University Center where we could all gather. Everyday at lunch everyone would sit around and all the newest members would always have gifts and notes welcoming them. We were never hazed, not even in a joking manner.
We were never mean to anyone because they were not a part of the greek campus life.
My sorority Zeta Tau Alpha, held philanthropy events raising money for breast cancer. We also did other charitable things like playing bingo and dominos with the elderly, holding food drives to host a family for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
The worst thing I remember having to do as a sorority pledge was talking to some frat guys and getting their signatures. Like Only in Dreams, the pledges in my former organization reaped the benefits at pledge time. Our "big sisters" took us out drinking, bought us candy and gifts, and all we were asked to do was to show up for activities and meetings.
If you're hating the process at this point, you should question whether it is right for you. And how will you feel next year when you subject pledges to the hazing process?
As for the cosmetic appeal at my alma mater, Tulane Univ., nearly all of the sororities were very much centered on looks, money, and social status prior to pledging (where you were from, where you went to high school etc.) However, other universities have larger and more inclusive Greek systems. I recently read about some homosexual frats that are beginning to emerge on the Greek scene....
tulips in bloom
I was in the biggest and most popular sorority at my college and hazing was not tolerated. We felt that it was very important to make our new members feel welcome in the group. Hazing was not a way of doing that. Infact we were so against it that even things that may not even seem like hazing could get us in trouble. And I do not think that I would have wanted to be a part of a group that treated me badly. Our Sorority tried to give the new members the best time of their life when they joined.
On the other hand, fraternities that we were close to did haze- nothing violent though. They also tried to proove points like trust your brothers and work together. So I guess that i can see the point that mild hazing forms a bond.
Still, I think that some hazing is just done to make the new members feel pathetic and embarrased. Those frats and sororities that do this are horrible. Why would they want to do this to people that are supposed to be their friends. I think that if it is really tough on you you have to really think twice about what kind of organization you are trying to join. Hazing is cruel and can sometimes get people hurt. Be careful and if you feel that things are being taken too far than look for the exit door.
Well then....its the end of the semester and i am a sister of Kappa Tau Epsilon. Its the best feeling in the world to have worked so hard for something and now I earned my letters. It was a blast after I got in, and all the sisters treat me like one of their own. Looking back on it, hazing taught me and my pledge class to become much closer, and i would do anything for my pledge sisters. Im suprised so many of u guys are against it, but now that im done, i think it made me a stronger, wiser, more appreciative person.
no offense meant, but that is basically the point of hazing...when someone puts you through an extremely harsh regimen of any sort you end up feeling some sense of affinity for those people that you went through it with
basically happens with most things--can be duplicated in the laboratory as well--it probably wouldn't have mattered specifically who these girls were or what they did to you either...it seems imo to be a forced way to make something happen really fast that could happen naturally over time anyway, but the fact that people know that it works this way is why they do it :P
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