I fail to quit, always :/

It shouldn't even be that hard, right? It's not meth, just speed. No big doses, no re-dosing, always sleeping every night.

Yet, I can't quit. Why? The God-awful depression!

Last time I tried I ended up at the psychiatric acute unit because I got became so depressed the third day off that I tried to kill myself. Not to get attention. I really wanted to die. There was nothing positive in anything, and I really mean, NOTHING.

So, I had to wait for a better opportunity to quit.

Now, I have the best girlfriend I could ever think of and she's in Poland for three weeks so I figure now I can have the time I need to feel shit and for once have a reason other than myself to clean.

But... Now, the third day off and I started to feel so shit again that in sheer panic to avoid it, I took some.


The thing is; I can not do this alone but I have no one whom I can stay at or who can hang out at my place. I will be really down for a few days but alone in my apartment I will not survive those days.

I tried to sleep on a Propavan and I did sleep but waking up on them sucks as it is and it got me further depressed from being so extremely tired.

I only have Sobril when it comes to benzo and it doesn't help at all...

Is it possible to taper? I got some metamina (the prescription legal amphetamine here, 5mg dexa) if that could makes things easier...?




I need to do this now but I don't want to off myself but going through this type of depression is not something I can handle.

PS: I'm on Venlafaxin now. I wasn't the first time and it doesn't have an impact at all in how far down I go.

being an addict involves a lot of pain and depression.
it can be overwhelming at times.
you eventually become used to it,or it gets easier, if you're not smart and quit now while you're ahead.
amphetamines I wouldn't taper.I would get professional help.
detox,doctors,that kind of thing.
you';re saying yourself you can't handle it.and depression almost killed me too.
be careful,I wish you all the best.peace.

You will feel 100% better after thirty minutes of aerobic exercise.. please make this a pert of your daily life.

affets of amphetamine on the brain >here< >here<
arobic exercise >here< >here<

Ya I know the depression. I can actually say that when we gather our inner strength that we some how have but didn't know. Try and try again. Just work towards being sober. I'm still struggling with depression and I'm on a crap load of scripts that do nothing but dull my thinking......I had a problem with speed until it gave me panic attacks and that was the driving force to stop but I know it also lifts me out of my depression like ritalin that I'm prescribed. Just hang in there and yes get help. IDK what it's like where you live but I'm in the US and there are plenty of places to turn.

It's not failure you're learning from your mistakes and eventually you will get sober. Good luck.

It has taken me so many tries to get any amount of time under my belt. I don't look at them as failures. I look at them as test runs. Just having the realization that you wish for change is a very big step.

When the time is right you will know in your heart of hearts, and there really is no need to do it alone.there are many people like us out there that tried to find acceptance in mind altering substances that have been right where you are and succeeded. Most are willing to help show you the way, or at least tell you their story. I personally needed a lot of support. I had to change everything. My surroundings, my friends, and especially what I thought of myself. I had to humble myself and realize what I was doing, my best thinking got me to my bottom.

I definitely back up the idea of exercise. It just feels damn good, and being able to stick to a schedule and beat my bests feels like such an accomplishment.

Listen to neversickanymore. He is vessel for incredibly sage advice, and he is willing to share.

You can't do it alone, nor can you do it for another person. You can ONLY do it if you're honestly doing it for yourself, but it does not have to be by yourself.

There are NA/AA meetings for a reason. They have saved my life, along with millions of other around the globe. They can help you too, if you're willing.

ΔΔΔ here here. Fourth steps a bitch....fearless they say...soul searching they say....its so hard not to hide from ones own feelings, good or bad. Resentments suck.