I have everything, but I have nothing,

because I don't have drugs or alcohol. On the outside I have everything. On the inside I have nothing.

Today is day 21 of my abstinence. I say abstinence not recovery because I don't feel like I'm getting any better.

I'm so angry and upset. I don't know how to be happy being content. I crave every second. What's the point in continuing down this route?

Just feeling very frustrated and ranting here..

edit:

I managed to quit far before I reached rock bottom. I read stories of other people reaching rock bottom as a deterrent but nothing works. Part of me just wants to give up on real life and half-ass my way through as an addict as long as I can.. part of me wants to hit rock bottom which makes absolutely no fucking rational sense.

i can relate for sure. Give it some time, but you have to work at getting better. Whatever that is for you.

Thanks haha.. ours are quite similar.

I don't have a goddamn clue what working to get better means.

Well I feel the same damn way tonight. Rough night.