still trying to get clean

I have been using the better part of the last 20 years with some clean time mixed in. Before my last relapse 2 years ago I had been clean about one year. Last September, I started using suboxone and quickly tapered down to half of a strip a day, but was stuck there. I was not getting it prescribed (no insurance) and eventually my connection dried up, about 4 weeks ago. Not knowing what else to do I switched to methadone and was taking about 20mg a day. I really tried to manage it(ha ha) but I new I could not continue. Although my job doesn't offer great benefits, I did have some vacation time built up and I made my plan.

After using the 20mg of methadone for 3 1/2 weeks I took my last dose on Sunday and waited. It has been quite strange because nothing got terribly bad until Wednesday night. I had about 3/4 of a strip of suboxone which I had planned on cutting in half and saving each piece for a bit of relief when at the very peaks of withdrawal. I have detoxed several times in my life but the only time under medical supervision , they had given me shots of Bup. I took the half as I had planned last night and although I did not get the sleep I had hoped for I did get some relief and can actually focus well enough to type this.

Did I screw myself by taking this? Will this only lengthen my symptoms?

Hey Cletus, congratulations.. your doing great and getting there so if you took your last dose of methadone on sunday.. and you didn't go into withdrawals until wednesday.. you seem to have a pretty long half life when it comes to methadone.. half life for methadone is between 8-59 hours, though it has been reported that some people have a 140 HL... it look slike you may be at the upper end of the normal half lifes.. anytime you take an opiat antagonist you risk the chance of lengthening your withdraw.. but why worry about that now.. remember that what you are experiencing will go away soon.. I know its rough and its going to last a bit longer due to the longer half life of the drugs you were using as well as the bupe that you took for some relief. On the other hand you may have hooked yourself up, If you do have one of the unusually long half lives for methadone then your half life for the suboxone (bupe) may be shorter and as the bupe has a greater affinity for the receptors you may have knocked off allot of the methadone with something that will clear the system faster and given yourself a break in the process.. your doing great, try and do anything to keep your mind off the withdrawal.. ANYTHING.. if you are able to go to a doctor you should really go get some clonidine and possibly some medication to alleviate the restless legs syndrome. you know it gets better soon.. sitting in misery is worse than doing something in the same misery, the clonidine will likely clear your head enough to do some things.. I take it you are going to seek and obtain some support to make the transition back into recovery shorter and more enjoyable as well as increase your chances at a full or longer recovery period. remember the Post Acutes will be coming so as soon as you get through the tunnel and get that OMG I MADE IT good feelings, please set up a support network as you know the bad emotions are right around the corner.. hang in there cletus.. you did this before and your doing it now.. way to go.. hang tuff your getting close!!! as soon as you can get doing something as sitting or lying around in acute is the worst.. nice work your doing just great!! GODSPEED YOU CAN DO THIS!!