Anybody else doubt themselves freewill?

Holy shit! Life has been crazy i got too much to say in typing. But im gonna start it off with this, im basically being sober off all hard drugs (basically everything but weed) But why the fuck do i feel like such shit? i thought it would get better after awhile? i have been off basically my drug of choice (meth) and at first i feel great but i never noticed how much i was addicted to letteing the drug control what i wanted. Sure it was fun at first, i was excited to change and i still am 100%! but i dont know why its getting HARDER now. It has gone down....like its not as easier now. I though it was hard at first to get sober and got better? Im also so up and down about EVERYTHING, whether im scared, excited even! i get bad anxiety also, cuz i was that scared of messing up but now i dont know what to think.

anywayz, i feel worse after 2 or 3 months of being completely clean and now its seems to be harder than at first.....WHY? IS THIS NORMAL?

How long was your period of addiction methamphetamine ? The road to recovery can take a very long time as far as feeling almost completely normal goes.

Don't let it get you down or turn you back to addiction. You are on the right path and will one day feel great again without the need for drugs.

The period after you're done battling withdrawal, can be a particularly difficult period. We're usually faced with an abundance of boredom, or a difficulty in sustaining a productive lifestyle, without the use of drugs. Perhaps this is why they say staying clean is harder than getting clean.

In either case, I'm going to move your thread over to The Dark Side as they deal with the psychological part of substance recovery.

bdd-->tds

I've seen the phenomenon you describe more times than I can count. It will get better again.

Chromophobia said:

The period after you're done battling withdrawal, can be a particularly difficult period. We're usually faced with an abundance of boredom, or a difficulty in sustaining a productive lifestyle, without the use of drugs. Perhaps this is why they say staying clean is harder than getting clean.

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I'm going to have to agree with this 100%.

I recently got clean from a 2 year hydromorphone addiction.

Getting clean wasn't that hard. But now I'm faced with the cravings and aftermath. Life without drugs? What a strange concept! Drugs were my life for the past 2 years. Everything revived around them. It feels like I lost a best friend by getting clean. Now I have to stay clean and that's the hardest part it seems. Physical withdrawal- that i could deal with. But the psychological effects seem to be much harder to cope with IMO.

rx_prn said:

I'm going to have to agree with this 100%.

Getting clean wasn't that hard. But now I'm faced with the cravings and aftermath. Life without drugs? What a strange concept! Drugs were my life for the past 2 years. Everything revived around them. It feels like I lost a best friend by getting clean. Now I have to stay clean and that's the hardest part it seems. Physical withdrawal- that i could deal with. But the psychological effects seem to be much harder to cope with IMO.

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This is always the part that fucks me up...guess you have to learn how to live again...rediscovery simple things....find new passions...ect....Im not sure yet either...just relate way too much

rx_prn said:

Life without drugs? What a strange concept! Drugs were my life for the past 2 years. Everything revived around them. It feels like I lost a best friend by getting clean.

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I love the way you put that. I can totally relate. I guess we have to get out and make some new healthier friends to fill that hole

Chromophobia said:

The period after you're done battling withdrawal, can be a particularly difficult period. We're usually faced with an abundance of boredom, or a difficulty in sustaining a productive lifestyle, without the use of drugs. Perhaps this is why they say staying clean is harder than getting clean.

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^This. Now that you've passed the withdrawal phase in your recovery, you face the task of learning to live your life without drugs. IMO this can be harder to deal with than the withdrawals. Exercising, visiting friends/family, going out to eat are all things I've found helpful, but basically doing anything you can to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied will help you transition into a sober life.

There is no way of knowing how long it will take, however. Congrats on 3 months free from meth.