Best wisdom or advice on staying clean you have heard at a recovery meeting??

Recovery meetings can be full of wisdom on life and advice on how to stay clean.. whats the best you have heard?

"Do your best until you know better. Then when you know better, do better"

Edit: I have also heard a lot of idiotic information "at a recovery meeting" like pretending your higher power is a light bulb...Yeah that makes sense doesn't it, fcking gooses!!!

"You have to draw a line in the sand and say fk this, never again. You have to do be able to do that with out attaching any reason why. Because any reason will start a debate that will eventually produce a justification to use"

aussie101 said:

I have also heard a lot of idiotic information "at a recovery meeting" like pretending your higher power is a light bulb...Yeah that makes sense doesn't it, fcking gooses!!!

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LOL.. rite, in life you constantly have to sift through the nonsense.

Ironies of ironies ...my beloved is currently working as a drug counselor (LPC). She could do other things, but she finds some joy in helping people turn their life around.


The advice that I have consistently seen give the best results: Its not just that you use, but that the circle of friends you have built around you also uses or condones (or at least tolerates) you using it. If you want to stay clean & sober, you need clean & sober friends, and depending upon how deep your involvement is: You might have to change your entire circle of friends to accomplish this. -- Those that take this advice to heart have a much greater chance of success than those who do not.

The other bits of advice: Surround yourself with people who build you up rather than tear you down. If you are to the point where you are ready to quit drugs, you've likely had plenty of tearing down already. You don't need more of it.

...And lastly: People who want to quit, but only want to quit on their terms are generally doomed to failure. Its only when you are willing to do "whatever it takes, on whatever the terms are" that real improvements happen.

None of these are from NA/AA, but they are the golden nuggets of advice from a woman with years of experience in the field. Now I just need to get my own sobriety in line. ;-) My own is try, try again -- especially for those whom also battle chronic pain. No easy choices there, but you don't know what your true pain levels are until you are been off of opioids for a couple months.

Good luck!

>snip<

"my fucked up way of thinking isn't going to fix my fucked up way of thinking"
"instead of thinking your way to better living, live your way to better thinking"
"if you don't know what to do, don't do anything at all"
"ya gotta go through it to get through it"

"no matter who loves me, leaves me, or dies, I won't use" -my sponsor
"I don't have to use if I don't want to. I don't have to use even if I do want to" - my old sponsor
"the only way to coast is downhill" - my sponsor
"carry the message, not the addict" - just for today meditation book
"sometimes a relapse is the jarring experience to make the needed changes in our program" - basic text
"you can't just work the steps, you gotta live the steps" - various people
"the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using" - 3rd tradition. VERY IMPORTANT
"relapse is never an accident" - various people, basic text.
"there are no victims, only volunteers" - my sponsor (in reference to doing stupid shit when you're clean)

DrunkardsDream said:

Recovery meetings like AA/NA are for people who can't think for themselves. The worst is when their cult members will claim if you do not go to NA/AA or stick with it yet you are sober and do not use your DOC (drug/drugs of choice) that you are not really sober. 8) Also in AA/NA originally they did not even want diabetics who need insulin yet had a substance abuse problem to be able to join.

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No need for that post, not all areas have groups that are cultish, the local groups near me are non fundamental, and don't focus strongly on the 12 steps and the higher power being a god in the sky. It's more about sharing and caring, they're motto is "hugs not drugs" so end up getting a ton of hugs at my local meetings.

To answer the OP, the best thing I've heard after a guy did a long share was that even after he had been 7 years clean, a glass of champagne was handed to him by someone not knowing he was in the program and it eventually led to him spirally downwards even worse than the first time, he is now 10 years clean again, but the wisdom was that even one small glass of champagne can be enough to tip the scales of balance the wrong way and start it all over again.

I forgot one of the most wise things to be said that is so simple "Come back next week"

the only time I ever had to go to drug class was just outside of Chester PA which is just as violent as Philly but with no positives really, like everything is gone from chester besides murders but I digress

my 2nd to last class was this huge black dude graduating or w/e they called it. he just looked everyone in the eye and said take advantage of this opportunity because its a cake walk compared to a state prison, and to think about whats really important in their lives. always remembered that for some reason, and I often think about how he ended up.

A few I have heard from the recovery community in the past few years:

If you're going to do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.
If you want more, do more.
When the pain of letting go becomes less than the pain of holding on, you'll let go.
It's a good day, regardless of how I feel about it.
Do whatever it takes.
I am chock full of wisdom. However, I am not wise until I use that wisdom to not repeat the mistakes of my past.
Men do not learn from the lessons of history, and that is the greatest lesson of all.
Life is suffering. We have a choice to view it negatively or positively.

Just a few that must have stuck with me and popped into my head. When I lay down my foundation of sobriety and put these words into action, I have a winning equation daily.

Great thread. To the posters, great stuff. Keep the positivity up.

The bad conscience caused by your abuse will only start to vanish when you start being open with those you love.

I love that one that says it is a good day no matter how I feel about it. sometimes we get so wound up by our own struggles that we miss the fact that we can simply let go and be held.

dont let other people destroy your inner peace.

"Don't believe anything heard in a meetin that you cannot reconcile with the big book"

They say that every meeting here. Most stuff said in meetings are bullshit. But there's always that one thing that strikes a nerve and makes it more than worth it. Look at the positive side of things.

"Don't hookup sexually with anyone from AA or you will relapse together."

6 months later..god fucking damnit...



Also, that one day at a time stuff is very important.

One day at a time.

neversickanymore said:

Man thats why I dropped the fellowship and am just doing the steps with my sponsor.. ever look into where the wisdom of the fellowships came from, allot of it come from the great sages of time, I would never limit myself to the content of a single book? .. thats just me.. I just wish ever addict peace

Try to keep your mind open to possibilities .. >snip-not relevant < ..Limit your 'always' and your 'nevers.'

Amy Poehler

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Ok excuse me but you requested my post in here, only to undermine it. Not to mention you often contradict yourself.

It is just saying this : If you hear people acting like "know-it-alls", or hear something that you arent sure about, then revert to the big book. If you are 12-stepping with your sponsor, then you have the big book to thank for that.

You say "limiting yourself to one book" but that is where the steps, sponsors, and the whole idea of what you are "limiting yourself" to, came from.

Sry, but that rubbed me the wrong way a bit. Please re-consider your post, and know what your talking about. The program, and the book has worked since the 1930s and has remained practically unchanged. Sure, whatever works for you, thats nice, but don't undermind what works for billions of other people just because your arrogance is clouding the facts.

soundsystem00 said:

Ok excuse me but you requested my post in here, only to undermine it. Not to mention you often contradict yourself.

It is just saying this : If you hear people acting like "know-it-alls", or hear something that you arent sure about, then revert to the big book. If you are 12-stepping with your sponsor, then you have the big book to thank for that.

You say "limiting yourself to one book" but that is where the steps, sponsors, and the whole idea of what you are "limiting yourself" to, came from.

Sry, but that rubbed me the wrong way a bit. Please re-consider your post, and know what your talking about. The program, and the book has worked since the 1930s and has remained practically unchanged. Sure, whatever works for you, thats nice, but don't undermind what works for billions of other people just because your arrogance is clouding the facts.

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post deleted.. was just looking for some good wisdom.. wasn't undermining you.

Edit: soundsystem, I just wanted to clear up where I was coming from on this. First let me apologize for that post, after thinking about it at work, it was not in the spirit of this thread.. This thread is a place to share the best wisdom gained through attending a meeting and not to debate the wisdom posted. I have been reading your posts and noticed that you seem to be working a very healthy twelve step program. I have always struggled with parts of the fellowships, I worked my first set of steps thirteen years ago and decided to go back out after a long period.. the old i'm cured.. Since I have issues with aspects of the fellowships but also know there power I thought I might get some inspiration from you, that is why I PM you this thread and was happy when I saw that you posted... I thought that you may post a little tidbit of fellowship wisdom that would inspire me to take up the fellowship with renewed vigor.. when I read the wisdom you had in your post it unfortunately struck the wrong end of one of the major hang ups I have with the fellowships. Sorry you took my disagreement with the wisdom you learned at a meeting personal.

I think this is actually my first post here. I honestly don't remember. I know I've been reading the other side of BL for years to keep me somewhat safe. I'm 1 year clean here. I still come by to read the forums to remind me why I stopped. Generally whenever I feel the desire to use. Really glad to see this recovery section now.

Best advice I've heard: "You can't put something in you if it's not in front of you." - my sponsor

The advice my sponsor gave me is the best piece of recovery advice I have heard. He told me to "sit with your feelings" & that alone has changed me as a man. Previously I would act on instinct whereas now I think before I do something & work out what is my best interest.

When I get an urge to relapse I sit with my feelings & try to work out what has caused them. Sometimes I never find out what triggers me but what is important is I sit for 10-20 minutes & think about why I would want to destroy my life. That small timeout I take usually allows me to gather my thoughts & if not I will go for a long drive only taking my license & plastic I cannot take money out on.

Sitting with my feelings can be incredibly painful but infinitely less painful than a full scale relapse. I have been at the threshold of relapsing so many times calling my sponsor knowing he won't pick up (to justify a relapse because "he was not there for me") & the only thing that has stopped me was to "sit with my feelings". Sitting in my car smoking a cigarette & fighting the rising panic fuelled by adrenaline but 9/10 times it is some trivial matter I allowed to fester to my detriment.