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spork

spork

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
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I figured we should keep up the sober month threads so people have a place to go when they're craving and to talk about their achievements.

I'm actually going to participate this time around. I'm dependent on benzos right now, but will still try to knock that down. My benzo tolerance is through the roof right now, so this is something that I definitely need to do. Also, I'm going to try to not drink alcohol during this time period. Currently I only drink about 2-3 drinks per night which isn't *too* bad, but I know I'd feel a lot better about myself if I didn't drink at all both physically and mentally.

Best of luck to everyone and welcome to your new month and a fresh start. <3
 
Captain's wise words

Every day is a chance for a fresh start.

I'm going through a lot of changes in my life right now, and the one I'm dealing with the most right now is the best change I could have made for my life - ever. I'm so glad to be making this progress in life and am hoping everyone else is doing just as well as I am.

<3
 
^^ Yay! spork for creating this thread and Yay! Captain for whatever you are doing for yourself that is good.:)
 
I'm going to try and cut down on my benzo usage- it's getting out of control again.
 
its been one year since I got out of rehab. still clean. coming up on 13 months. just got out of a relationship (girl played me) and still clean. chaired an awesome meeting tonight, and watched a fight happen at the local dennys. all in good fun. and I wasn't even involved in the fight! I hope I don't get questioned though as I'm out of my supervision area for probation lol.
 
Day 3 of no alcohol (and more difficult than I thought). The benzo situation is even worse. I had some unfortunate events happen yesterday and went a little overboard with them. :\
 
Well after 9+ months of being sober from evreything including heroin,xanax,weed evreything i fucked up. All is not lost tho and i caught myself b4 it got to crazy hopefully it wont take me to long to heal. I really hope to stay strong cuz i am done with the courts so i have no one to hide from now so i really must stop now.























<a href=http://soundfrost.softonic.com.br/ >youtube mp3</a>WEll
 
Day4 no heroin w subs... Hoping to stick it out this time. Every thursday i usually cave as its payday, but damnit not this wk! Sub apptmt on friday , started two wks ago so cant fail this one. Goodluck to everyone battling, its worth it.
 
Okay I think I'm completely stupid. I underestimate my dependence on benzos so I didn't take enough and figured I'd still be okay. But no, here I am all sweaty and full of anxiety. The sad part is that this isn't the first time this happened, I should have learned my lesson. :(
 
Be careful with that spork! Don't want to see you ending up at the hospital for quitting benzos too suddenly :(

Anyway, today's 11 days sober from heroin. To be honest I didn't want to quit because I was still in the honeymoon phase where it hadn't started affecting my life negatively, but I figured I may as well quit while I'm ahead. It's making it more difficult to resist though cuz I feel like I've got nothing to lose in going back to it...but so far so good.
 
^Good for you, hun. I'm proud of you! :)

Yeah, I'm not quitting suddenly by any means. I still took benzos but just not enough I guess. I really really need to work on tapering down, but the thought is so scary to me. :( I wish I could go back in time and have never even started them.
 
you're doing well my dear pagey. keep it up! you're through the worst of it. I'm always here for ya :)

I'm doing well myself. I feel great mentally. just physically exhausted from stretching myself thin this week. graduating drug court in march. I can't wait. no porn in almost two weeks (fapped only twice) so im working on my other addictions currently to get a better mental state. medication I'm taking is affecting me physically though so working out is a bit rough :/ it is what it is.
 
I've cut back on Suboxone so far this month. Not so much lowering my dosage but reducing the number of times I take it in a day.

It's been relatively easy for me to do this because my living environment is a lot more conducive to rendering me being happy now, and I'm eternally thankful I had a close friend who helped me for 24 consecutive hours to clean up my entire apartment.

I hope everyone else is doing well so far this month! :)
 
^^^our resident IV suboxone expert is tapering down??? :D I wish you the best CH. I hated coming off subs, but I bet you can do it.

I'm starting my forth step as I type this so as not to relapse. must. put. pencil to paper.
 
i was in a much better state than i am now during octsober (addiction wise, not life wise)... now i'm at 8-10mg etizolam per day but slowly tapering that to 6-8 and hopefully down to 1-3mg/day in 3 months, probably not though. Lately been taking codeine for too many days in a row and feel like shit now, no more opiates for me. So this month my goal is no opiate use, even codeine. As well, to finally finish my taper off kratom and get my etizolam dose down to 6-8mg/day. Unfortunately i think my etizolam abuse is fucking with my studies, some memory issues and possible cognitive deficits, or maybe i just suck at school, only one way to find out now. Wish everyone else well, little bit of pain now will prevent a shit load of pain in the future, that's how i try to look at it.
 
Serotonin101 said:
^^^our resident IV suboxone expert is tapering down??? :D I wish you the best CH. I hated coming off subs, but I bet you can do it.

I'm starting my forth step as I type this so as not to relapse. must. put. pencil to paper.
Click to expand...

Thank you!

Even if I can never quit (because I refuse to relapse or even risk it), I'd be happy staying at a low dosage. However my goal is to quit, and to do so soon. I could even quit this month if I was so inclined. It might be the best time to.

If I ended up quitting this month I'd keep some posts going in this thread to let you all know what it's like. I will be busy this entire month so it can't be painful for me, but I am very motivated to quit now.

I think the best thing for me is to prepare my day's worth ahead of time, and then slowly cut back each day in number of doses and the amount per dosage, and eventually by the end I'll have other medications to help me withdrawal.
 
since you do liquid preparations for injection you should be able to titrate very smoothly with minimal withdrawals. gonna have to change your name to Captain.Bupe in the future :p. I had to reread your iv bupe posts countless times before I had the courage to try it. I'm sure dabbing that wax will help quite a bit though. :p
 
Serotonin101 said:
since you do liquid preparations for injection you should be able to titrate very smoothly with minimal withdrawals. gonna have to change your name to Captain.Bupe in the future :p. I had to reread your iv bupe posts countless times before I had the courage to try it. I'm sure dabbing that wax will help quite a bit though. :p
Click to expand...

Yes I plan to titrate ever so slowly. I had already tapered down once before, during a time immediately before breaking both bones in my writing arm. Once that happened I had to raise my dosage immediately to above what I began at, because of how bad the pain was. :(

That was really devastating to me because I had done so much hard work in slowly cutting back over time, and all that hard work essentially got erased in one moment.

However, I saw it as, if I got there once, then I can get there again, and it motivates me to get back to that level of low dosing, so that I can jump off this time.

I'm also fortunate to be living in a warmer climate where I won't be exposed to ice/snow, so I won't slip and fall and break more bones.

I hope everyone else is doing well this month! If you are, keep up the good work! :) If not, then just keep in mind, this is the shortest month of the entire year, so it'll be gone before you know it.
 
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