Opioids opiate withdrawal 5 year habit...help!!!!

hey yall,i been reading thru here quite a bit and finally registered and decided to post....i am 21 days into a cold turkey wd coming off 5 years straight of about 120-160mgs a day....i cannot begin to explain how ridiculous this has been for me...i literally went insane on around day 6,of course i chipped with 2 percs....then again day 12....the physical wd was horrendous,but nothing in comparison to the mental torture and anguish i have and still am going thru.The anxiety was excruciating...i couldnt even watch tv i just couldnt concentrate on anything,my mind was going a million miles a minute i was just overrun with negativity.i went to the docs and got a scrip for some zoplicone to sleep as i didnt sleep for 5 days straight along with some KPIN which has been a godsend.....i have been taking them 0.75mg for 3 days then off for 2 the last thing i need is a benzo addiction.

Anyways,physically im ok now,however the depression is crippling...i find it very hard to get anything done and have no concentration at all....been tryin to go hang with friends and such but just feel like im some kind of mental patient on a day pass...nobody knows about this except 3 very close girlfriends who have been supportive...but 2 of which are hooked on percs and still wont quit even seeing what im going thru.,...theyr scared as hell lol!!!!!....im getting to think i fried my brain and this is it for me!!!....anybody have any advice??i know the excercise part yes i been walkin the dog 5miles a day and nothing is helping....was considering starting an ssri...i was perscribed one 10 years ago and refused....drinking and partying seemed to do the trick((

only good thing to come of this hellish oirdeal is i lost about 25 pounds and look good lol...i am DONE with the pills..im fully committed i just wanna feel somewhat normal again....considering effexor or paxil....

5 year habit...100-160mg a day mostly percocet but when dry oc40,oc80,fetanyl greens,hydro20 footys etc....mostly just a popper but would buck a 40 here and there on special occasions lol....this shits an EPIDEMIC where i live....100s of my friends are wacked out on this SHIT!!!

i just got my bloodwork back...i told my doc exactly what was up and i was extremely worried about my liver....by the mercy of GOD himself my liver enzymes were only 80...which is just above normal and kidney function was perfect....i almost couldnt believe it and asked if the may have mixed up my samples with someone else's lol...wow...i had actually convinced myself my liver was toast which was a main reason for getting clean...

ANYWAYS "slainte mhaith" and thanks for the response in advance.....TO THE LOST!!!

what exactly is your question? this is better suited to blogs

Congratulations man, I hope that you stick to sobriety, 5 years man that's bad.

Prescription pill abuse certainly is an epidemic.

my question is....will this depression ever go away???anything to relieve the misery??im takin kpin and L-theanine...i think my dopamine levels are completely drained.....i have never felt so miserable in my life...i cant even go out and see friends...people are starting to wonder whats up i have so many groups of friends and trhings i have to do.....this is a nitemare....would an antidepressant work???...its so bad im considering stayn with my sis for a bit....hell on earth every day seems like its an eternity!!!!!

You should look up PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome)
An anti depressent could help, but remember they take a few weeks to work.

You will feel better soon. Congratulations on kicking such a long habit!

tricomb said:

Congratulations man, I hope that you stick to sobriety, 5 years man that's bad.

Prescription pill abuse certainly is an epidemic.

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thanks tricomb!...yea 5 years of mostly percocet too....is it possible that my liver enzyme levels would be normal but there would be liver damage>??i swear to god i almost blacked out whenh i saw the numbers....i do get pains once n awhile on my right side....anyways whatever i need to get bak to functioning soon....guess i shouldnt have chipped like a gutless wuss....damnit!!!!!

brighton said:

You should look up PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome)
An anti depressent could help, but remember they take a few weeks to work.

You will feel better soon. Congratulations on kicking such a long habit!

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thank u friend.....im done for good...i loved them so much not for the high but becuz they cured my anxiety issues completely.....i always had a bit of GAD but would self medicate with booze then these little magic beans came along and .....finished...we fell in love...however the last few m,onths i just had enough and have a very supportive gf who is helping me get thru it too........always knew this day would come,and i cannot wait for it to be over with.....cheeers m8

Dude, I'm 7 months clean from using all opiate pills and then shootin heroin for the last six months of my addiction. I was using for 3 years total... I quit COLD TURKEY with no other med's of any kind at all and it was the worst thing that Ive ever experienced. But quiting was so worth it, Stay strong man.. Anyways I will honestly tell you that the best thing that I found out to help me feel better was by do slow "work outs" at home, or running outside as far as I could. It sounds terrible and it really does suck at first, but I PROMISE you it will help so much. It will even take away your anxiety and depression, no joke... I even saw a psychiatrist and she told me that running and working out is the best thing to help..
You wont feel normal again for a few months, But just tough it out and you will be able to enjoy life again. I started feeling better after about 3 or 4 months. so Yeah, it seems like a long road, but what is 3 or 4 months when you can get your life back right?

P.s. my anxiety and depression just recently went away for good so don't think it will happen quickly! take B-complex Vitamins.. HELPS WITH Anx & Depression a lot..

Hope the best for you man!!

I too refused an antidepressant and I to had a 5-6 year habit. But after back surgery last year, I got on Wellbutrin and by the time I was sent to a PM program at a Rehab, I felt quite normal, and almost felt good once the detox was complete. I was in rehab for 7 weeks and during the last few weeks especially I found myself fully engaged with both my feelings and thoughts and didn't struggle with that oh-so-familiar feeling after cold turkeying "life is just so boring without opiates".

The neurochemistry of our addicted brain is so out of wack that it takes a long time, especially after as lengthy a habit as we both had, to stabilize and find a new baseline. An appropriate antidepressant can help accelerate and normalize the brain's neurochemistry so you are able to feel better mentally and emotionally during the vulnerable first few weeks/months of kicking opiates.

Good luck!

roxyroller said:

thanks tricomb!...yea 5 years of mostly percocet too....is it possible that my liver enzyme levels would be normal but there would be liver damage>??i swear to god i almost blacked out whenh i saw the numbers....i do get pains once n awhile on my right side....anyways whatever i need to get bak to functioning soon....guess i shouldnt have chipped like a gutless wuss....damnit!!!!!

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I really don't know man, I would ask your doctor and ask them to run tests regularly for a while to see how things pan out!

So were you performing a cold water extraction? Or just consuming reckless amounts of tylenol throughout?

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise... If you are lacking energy take some B vitamins 6 and 12 and get the amino acid L-Tyrosine. Your testosterone levels will most likely be very low after 5 years of use and this can make you feel majorly depressed. Lifting weights in particular compound lifts is a great way to get your T-levels back up and also the endorphin rush will help you feel normal again. I am going through a similar thing right now too. Best of luck

Deathly said:

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise... If you are lacking energy take some B vitamins 6 and 12 and get the amino acid L-Tyrosine. Your testosterone levels will most likely be very low after 5 years of use and this can make you feel majorly depressed. Lifting weights in particular compound lifts is a great way to get your T-levels back up and also the endorphin rush will help you feel normal again. I am going through a similar thing right now too. Best of luck

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very correct! Exercise is truly the best thing you can do. It sucks at first but it will help you feel better so much faster, plus after every exersize you feel much better for a short period of time because your endorphins are FLOWING.. I wish that i had this advice when I quit Opiates.

tricomb said:

I really don't know man, I would ask your doctor and ask them to run tests regularly for a while to see how things pan out!

So were you performing a cold water extraction? Or just consuming reckless amounts of tylenol throughout?

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just hammering on the tylenol like a complete idiot....everyday is an eternity....trying to get out and do things but its almost impossible.....just wanna rot at home .....this is so not me...my brain is completely fried!!!!....gonna force myself to the gym tomos i think....wow this is insane!!!

Hey roxy- I just read your response to my thread and I may not know exactly how you feel I have a pretty good idea. I have been on and off nearly every pain killer for about 6 years now. People focus a lot on the physical WD's because they are so visible. Every second of the day is torture. If my math is correct that is 86,400 seconds of torture a day. When you are in the throws of WD the clock becomes an enemy and time seems to stand still.

So, you are finally through the worst of the physical WD which is also psychologically draining, then it hits- you suddenly have to adjust to sobriety. Life is shit, nothing is interesting and you are weak as hell in body and spirit.

Have you ever seen the movie "The French Connection II", sequel to the first? It kind of addresses this aspect of getting clean. Gene Hackman is caught by his nemesis who turns Hackman into heroin addict. After some time (months?) he is freed, and has to go "cold turkey" which is pretty tough to watch. What got to me was after the worst of his physical WD's not only could he not perform a pushup but malaise and despair became his co-pilots. I wouldn't recommend his actions of retribution to get through the depression. You don't have to blow shit up to feel better.

You have been on this stuff for years so it is going to take a lot longer than Mr. Hackman's experience but YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT. You may not have the strength of body and soul you desire yet but getting support through sites like this and, if you can manage, participating in Narcotics Anonymous can be helpful. Personally, I have never tried NA but I thought I might as well suggest it.

I couldn't agree more with you and most of the replies in this thread, exercise is imperative. It can be hell to get out but getting moving allows your body to heal far more rapidly than someone who is sedentary. Exercise also helps people produce their own "feel good" endorphins which are the body's supply of opiod peptides. You probably know all that but the more you hear it or read it the more likely you will keep at it and the quicker you will get out of the rut you are in. Exercise and as much external support as you can get will help.

Then there is time that heals all. But Remember, it isn't just time but what you do with it that heals. Hence the exercise and support. Everyone is unique and full recovery isn't something that just happens. In my experience, I just noticed every week that I felt better than the week before and eventually didn't even ask the question "Do I feel better today?" I truly hope you feel better today than you did this same day last week and hopefully you will feel even better next week.

I am quite envious of you as I have a ways to go in this process but you know what?, just taking time to type this reply helped and I never even looked at the clock so I owe you a bit of thanks. Hang in there.

I abused opiates for 7 years straight and with nearly 6 months since quitting, I have to say that life does indeed get better.

From reading what you wrote reminds me a lot of what I saw my ex boyfriend go threw. I dated him for two years straight and supported his drug habit, but between those years I had tried different ways to approach his depression from not using any opiates. From Kratom to Kava Kava and etc nothing had seemed to be working, he had already been on 6 different kinds of anti-depressants as well. But than after a year or two passed he eventually put himself into a very good rehab center and now is living on his own in an apartment taking some Judo classes. I can't say that I know how you feel because for some reason I never felt any withdrawal from uppers or downers...but seeing what he had to go threw made me feel like complete utter crap. I really believe that you can over come your addiction and find some sort of outlet. Meditation and yoga might help you or maybe meeting some new people, I wish I could literally give you a hand threw your pain but all I can do is sit here and say 'good luck'.

thanks to u all....it feels better just knowing this is all from that damn devil i was so overcome by......im just tyn to get out everyday and do....ANYTHING!!!!!!.....its really messin with my head tho....one day,i mean hour,minute ,second at a time....and yes it does feel as tho time stands still...i cant wait to feel normal again....appreciate the response and words of encouragement....cheers!!!!!

No problem =^..^= may the sobriety be with you ;D