suboxone and alcohol mix xaused me to lose it

[jimboid1]

I was wondering if anyone had experienced anything similar to what I did last Saturday. I was out drinking with my girlfriend and her friends, prior to this had taken 8mg of suboxone, which I take daily. I proceeded to drink a fair amount of wine throughout the night at the pub. Nothing was out of the ordinary with my behaviour until around 3/4 of a bottle later, when I just lost the plot. I've been doing really well recently, getting a lot of support from my partner, so maybe that contributed to it, but I just became horribly aggressive with her, demanding that I was going to score right away. Truly, I was terribly behaved, made a scene in front of her friends, turnde nasty with her for no reason and really hurt her emotionally that is. I just lost control of my emotions, argued in public and generally acted out of character, to the point where it shocked me the following day.
I am now feeling so guilty, as she was really shocked, and dismayed. Does anyone think it was the subs that increased/perpetuated this situation? Having said that, I'm sure suboxone makes me snappy and irrational at the best of times. I want to get off the stuff before I lose her, as she has been so understanding and suppotive.
Thanks.

[Myshkin]

How long have you been on the suboxone? Do you regularly drink when you use it?

Sounds like a nasty episode anyway. Hope you manage to make it up to her somehow.

[jimboid1]

not that regularly, no mate.I didn't get physical - never have been violent like that, I just started rambling about scoring to her friends, demanding my money that she looks after, generally being so unfair. She has forgiven me, but the guilt I feel is unsurmountable. No one should have to put up with that. Her friends, consequently, and understandably, are now giving her a hard time about being with me. I was doing so well , just being with her instead of using on my own, etc. She was so hurt by the whole thing, and now I worry, as does she, that it'll happen again. The rule now is no drinking in public, however, which I must adhere to.

[brimz]

In short your story sounds like a typical addiction sketch .

We tend to hurt the ones we love even when we aren't aware of it at least you are aware .

[monstanoodle]

IMO it sounds that it was the fault of too much booze and the loosened inhibitions that it caused.
It doesn't take much more booze to make you go from jolly and being the "life and soul of the party" to turning into someone you wish you had nothing to do with.

I'd go easy on the booze.

One thing: Opiates can cause people to become irritable (strong ones can with me) and Ethanol would certainly add to that.

Explain these logical explainations to your ladyfriend and anyone else you upset and they will, at the very least, try to understand.

Good luck mate <3

[Myshkin]

not that regularly, no mate.I didn't get physical - never have been violent like that, I just started rambling about scoring to her friends, demanding my money that she looks after, generally being so unfair. She has forgiven me, but the guilt I feel is unsurmountable. No one should have to put up with that. Her friends, consequently, and understandably, are now giving her a hard time about being with me. I was doing so well , just being with her instead of using on my own, etc. She was so hurt by the whole thing, and now I worry, as does she, that it'll happen again. The rule now is no drinking in public, however, which I must adhere to.

Be strong. It ain't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it'd be even harder without her around you. And good luck.

[jimboid1]

This is so true. I have come on so far since I met her. She has helped me so much. And the thought of being without her is a painful one. I think sometimes my old self rears its ugly head. The selfish, self absorbed part that only wants to do what it wants to do right there and then. Just seeing her being so worried the next day said it all.

[MrM]

IMO it sounds that it was the fault of too much booze and the loosened inhibitions that it caused.

I'm sure the alcohol was a factor (increased/perpetuated the situation as the OP put it) as well as the suboxone, but i'm not sure i'd go so far as saying it was the booze's fault. Putting the blaim on the booze rather than taking responsibility yourself may not be the best way to resolve the situation. Not drinking in public does sound pretty responsible to me though.

[SpecialK_]

The rule now is no drinking in public, however, which I must adhere to.

Why not get off it completely? In fact it's better you drink in public, say this happens again and you do turn violent? Not in public your girlfriend wont have her friends to help her.

By the sounds of things you just had too much to drink, that alongside a bit of craving turned you into what you were. It happens sometimes drink just hits you harder or can click something in your head. Moderation is key. :) By even cutting out the drink completely (temporarily) it shows to both your girlfriend and her friends that you are sorry for your actions because at least you are doing something rather than just hiding it from the public.

I find if someone is persistent, with no change in emotion / constant aggression, rambling without backing down even if the subject is closed - normally for me indicates too much to drink more than anything else.

[RLP]

not that regularly, no mate.I didn't get physical - never have been violent like that, I just started rambling about scoring to her friends, demanding my money that she looks after, generally being so unfair. She has forgiven me, but the guilt I feel is unsurmountable. No one should have to put up with that. Her friends, consequently, and understandably, are now giving her a hard time about being with me. I was doing so well , just being with her instead of using on my own, etc. She was so hurt by the whole thing, and now I worry, as does she, that it'll happen again. The rule now is no drinking in public, however, which I must adhere to.

If you've guys really trust each other, show her the two posts you've made, paying special regards to the section highlighted. You'd be amazed at how people will forgive when you show honest, heartfelt remorse like you have above. Also buy her a bunch of flowers and don't forget valentines day! :)

[Treacle]

What is your alcohol tolerance like? I know I personally wouldn't feel much from that amount of booze. If you've been doing well on the subs, it sounds like lack of inhibitions somehow made you angry at the partial opiate effects - a bit like real life suddenly smashing you over the head. Perhaps your repressed frustration (that you may not have been aware of) just came out. Alcohol is obviously very capable of releasing repressed shit. How does alcohol normally affect you? This is only a theory - it's probably bollocks. Good luck with your issues.

[maxalfie]

If I were you then I would try to knock the booze on the head for the time being at least.
Your girlfriend sounds like one in a million,not many people want to take on an ex user. Don't do anything else to put yr relationship in danger cos she sounds like a keeper to me.

[monstanoodle]

I'm sure the alcohol was a factor (increased/perpetuated the situation as the OP put it) as well as the suboxone, but i'm not sure i'd go so far as saying it was the booze's fault. Putting the blaim on the booze rather than taking responsibility yourself may not be the best way to resolve the situation. Not drinking in public does sound pretty responsible to me though.
Aye forgive me, yer quite right.
I suppose it's just I don't know the OP on a personal level and he seemed so shocked at what had happened that he didn't seem to have much - if any - "say" of how he acted.

[Tommyboy]

Nothing good will come from dwelling over this mishap, so try to put it behind you and move forward focusing on not having another incident like that. The depression you feel the day after drinking is bad enough, so there is no need to beat yourself up over this, since it will only make you feel worse.

I think that this may have happened because things are actually better and more stable in your life now, and you are not used to that due to your past addictive ways. Some of us get anxious over getting clean and bettering ourselves since we are so used to the hectic, unstable lifestyle that comes with addiction, so sometimes act out when we get clean because subliminally we want some instability in our lives like we are used to. This is why it seems that us addicts will try to sabotage some new positive things in our lives out of the fear of change. I think that this is the reason why a lot of people relapse, even when they don't crave the high anymore, but instead are craving a taste of the lifestyle we were so used to. That's just my opinion on the reasoning for why the incident may have occurred.

For now I think you should focus on not drinking like that, and maybe sticking with beer if you choose to drink since it isn't as potent as wine. The other thing to do if figure out a healthy way to adjust to your more stable life. You may be looking for something to replace the excitement of the addictive lifestyle you have left behind. I had done some extreme sports when I quit drugs, and that seemed to fill that void, although it wasn't the safest alternative. I'm sure that you will figure something out that applies to you.

[Allein]

It sounds like a bad episode mate but don't dwell on it, you only have to walk up any high street on a Friday hight to see much worse.

I would knock th booze on the head for the time being to be on the safe side and to show your girlfriend that you take the whole episode seriously, being sober ain't that bad, that I do know.

Her friends will have to think what they like obviously apologise preferably in public with you girlfriend there and explain you won't be drinking for a bit because you feel that you got out of order and move on mate, you certainly can't change what happened but it doesn't sound like anyone got physically hurt.

I lot of people (including me) spak out every now and again, big deal no harm done todays a new day make it a good one.

Best Wishes

[jimboid1]

I would never get violent. I've never in my life been in a fight or anything like that. I think what tommyboy said is spot on. I crave some instability in my life as that is what I am used to, or at least was used to. I find it difficult to comprehend how much better my life has become since meeting this girl. I'm scared of losing her and having to deal with being alone again. I'm not used to having to think about another person's feelings. I am happy with the thought of being with heer long term, but I know that if this happens again I will lose her. I'm so lucky to even have her in my life I sometimes wonder what on earth she sees in me tbh. Thanks for all the replies. I shall do my level best to move on from this, as she has forgiven me for it.

[Cornishman]

Good luck squire!

Anyone can get off the booze. It's piss easy. (no pun intended).
However, try and fill that drug hole with something that isn't a drug. Or if you must, a much lesser evil one.


All the best.