Before/After you became a drug user.

Lately I've become more and more aware about my childhood memories regaurding drugs and their use. Ever since i was little i had been trained to say "no" to drugs, but now it's "is that all youve got?". Now, i realize that i am was i was told never to consider. I have no guilt, because i am a stoner and occasional tripper,; so i feel as though i am trading insight for minimal harm to my body. I also understand that collectively, drugs are kept illegal to allow the government to profit and control the masses (no insight, no mind). This is how i feel about myself and my journey through live, how do you feel? Do you have guilt?

I was always told drugs were bad. Started smoking weed at like 17 and now 21 I've done everything you can think of. I don't feel bad/guilty because I haven't gotten addicted or had it really effect my life in a negative way

I started using drugs at the age of 13 (tobacco, alcohol) - I used to steal it from my parents here and there. At 14 I experimented with marijuana and loved it, then I wanted to explore more and see what else was out there. Eventually, by the age of 15 I had gotten into opiates (codeine, hydrocodone, and oxycodone at first) then it progressed to stronger shit, eventually leading to IV heroin use. Between the ages of 16-20 I tried cocaine in all its forms, MDMA, ketamine, amphetamines, benzos, you name it - I did it.

BTW, I now despise marijuana and NEVER smoke it (ever since I got into everything else back when I was a teenager. I immediately dropped marijuana)

I'm now 26 (turning 27 in July) and am extremely regretful of how my life has turned out. I have been homeless, I've begged on the streets, I've been in jail, rehab, and it goes on and on.

Now I'm on methadone (130 mg/day), alprazolam (1 mg 3x day), Dexedrine (10 mg in the morning, 10 mg afternoon, 5 mg evening), escitalopram (20 mg/daily), and Seroquel (100 mg at bedtime). I have ADHD, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, social anxiety disorder, and depression.

kokaino said:

I started using drugs at the age of 13 (tobacco, alcohol) - I used to steal it from my parents here and there. At 14 I experimented with marijuana and loved it, then I wanted to explore more and see what else was out there. Eventually, by the age of 15 I had gotten into opiates (codeine, hydrocodone, and oxycodone at first) then it progressed to stronger shit, eventually leading to IV heroin use. Between the ages of 16-20 I tried cocaine in all its forms, MDMA, ketamine, amphetamines, benzos, you name it - I did it.

BTW, I now despise marijuana and NEVER smoke it (ever since I got into everything else back when I was a teenager. I immediately dropped marijuana)

I'm now 26 (turning 27 in July) and am extremely regretful of how my life has turned out. I have been homeless, I've begged on the streets, I've been in jail, rehab, and it goes on and on.

Now I'm on methadone (130 mg/day), alprazolam (1 mg 3x day), Dexedrine (10 mg in the morning, 10 mg afternoon, 5 mg evening), escitalopram (20 mg/daily), and Seroquel (100 mg at bedtime). I have ADHD, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, social anxiety disorder, and depression.

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do you have a job? are you not homeless anymore?

Tickle My Pickle said:

do you have a job? are you not homeless anymore?

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No I am not homeless anymore. I had a job, but recently got laid off so now I'm on welfare, sad to say. I have a room. I'm doing much better now since I've been on the methadone and all my other meds.

kokaino said:

No I am not homeless anymore. I had a job, but recently got laid off so now I'm on welfare, sad to say. I have a room. I'm doing much better now since I've been on the methadone and all my other meds.

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Was it drugs that caused your problems, or your misuse of them? Personally, i have been able to smoke weed since my sophomore year while keeping a's and b's and a job on top of schoolwork. I even did extra coursework to graduate a semester early, and i got a 30 on my act. As long as i keep my priorities drug use hasnt affected my social standing (although it has changed my physical appearance - that is - the clothes i wear).

ha i too was raised to say "no". i thought drugs were bad and stupid and evil and was totally anti drug until a few years ago where my friends would talk about drugs and do it around me and most of them doing fine in school and stuff. that showed me a better perspective of drugs and then i thought "well i guess drugs arnt all that bad...but ill still never do them!" i kept that mentality until last year in august.
i havnt been doing drugs very long so i havnt done much nor do it that often. first started last august when i lived with my cousin up in nor cal for a couple weeks and he introduced me to thizzle. ha not to many first time users take ecstacy but that was my first drug. i did it everyday and thought"wow drugs are freaking fun and great!" then left back to missouri and i couldnt find any form of ex anywhere. wanting to do some kind of drugs, i seeked out weed because it was the easiet to get. actually as time has gone on ive done alot more research on drugs (as when i was taking thizz i had no knowledge of it or drugs so i thought it was fine doing it everyday...plus i got them free =p) ive learned more about safety and doses, mostly thanks to blue light. i have now tried amphetamins and opiates but do none of these more than once a week. drugs to me are just an extra fun thing in life to do every one in awhile and i just hope i dont end up getting tricked into an intervention and landing a spotlight on A&E haha. ive been doing somewhat fine in school, no worse then before my moderate drug use. i know drugs can lead down to a very bad road so i just try to control my usage and continue on in life graduating high school this year and want to pursue college so im keeping those priorities first.

I started drinking and smoking (cigs and weed) by the time i was 12. That was all i really messed around with till i was 16, when i started tripping, and smoking weed on the daily. Now im 18 and in college and have pretty much done most things (excluding heroin, meth, crack, mescaline, ghb). There was a time when i was a little too into stimulants last winter and went on a bit of a binge with mdpv, coke, and dexedrine. I've seen a good few people go down real rough roads ending in disaster, mostly from alcohol abuse. It's all about self control. If you can control your intake, you should be ok. There is such thing as responsible drug use. Now, I've realized my stimulant use can start to cause bad heart problems in the long run. Nothings popped up yet, but I'm in the process of not taking any more stimulants even amphetamine. Hopefully that works out, I'm also trying to not drink too much anymore as I've seen bad things happen with that. I'm going to try and stick with cannabis, psychedelics (shrooms, dmt, 2ci), benzos, ecstasy, drinking, occasional cocaine. People can certainly mess with addictive substances without becoming addicted, but you really do need to practice self control or it really can fuck you up. I personally have no guilt.

I realize i said I'm trying to not take any more stimulants even amphetamine. And then i said ocasionally cocaine. Yeah that sounds redundant but try not to get on my ass. My reason for that is I feel amphetamine is more something that I do on a more daily basis. Whereas coke is something i do quite seldomly. So I'm basically ok with occasional coke use for me, but want to cut the amphetamines out, as I feel the daily use of amphetamine would wreck my heart more than occasional coke.

This really isn't appropriate for BDD... this is better suited for DC but I'm pretty sure they already have threads on this topic so search around and contact a DC mod if you have any questions