View Full Version : How to ask about a threesome

17-02-2011, 17:36
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about ten months or so and we've got a pretty good relationship going. I am 20 and he is 21 years old. We're very open about things. We're both very sexual (although I have only had sex with one other person while he has had sex with well many other people ... we're still both really open to most things sexual).

And we both want a threesome (neither of us have done this before). He is not the jealous type at all. I am not super jealous but I said that I didn't think I could handle watching him have sex with another girl, even if I was there. I said that with a guy it would be okay and he said he would want that too. So we both want to have a threesome with another guy. We have a guy in mind too (who we both agree on).

Now how do we approach this guy? He's been friends with my bf for a couple years and I just met him a few months ago (at a rave) and I guess we're friends too. Mostly we just see him at raves.

So how do we approach him? We're pretty sure he's straight but he seems pretty open and to be honest my boyfriend is pretty good looking AND he attracts a lot of gay guys as well (lol) so how do we ask about this? Neither of us have done this before. Ideas?

17-02-2011, 18:25
just ask, whats the worse that could happen?

17-02-2011, 19:10
Sounds like a situation MDMA was made for.

axl blaze
17-02-2011, 19:25
yeah, most of my threesomes have been aided by the wonder drug known as MDMA

17-02-2011, 19:29
WHen I read the thread title, I was going to say you shouldn't suggest it BUT - Ohhhhh - You're a woman- fuckkkk Just suggest it - chances are he'll say yeah sure!!



^Davez could be onto something...would have you guys open for proper on-the-level talk.

I'm not sure it's necessary, but if this guy is your bf's friend - well, I would tread carefully with that one - you guys may know him, but I think I'd wanna do it with someone who wasn't as close to me...I think...it's food for thought (I actually had this situation once, with a best mate and his long term gf - they invited me back to theirs for some fun, but I was too stoned and thought they were joking :( ).

I would say go for it, if you've talked about threesomes before, then I don't see how this can go wrong if you lay down ground rules, and tread carefully with how you talk about it. HAVE FUUUUUUUN! Report back.

17-02-2011, 21:57

Get him drunk, not too drunk, and make out and get crazy in front of him. If he looks like he wants to get jiggy. Get jiggy.

Asking him sounds kinda awkward lol... it probably would work too though.


Just don't use the word "jiggy".

Until after the threesome has happened, for the lulz.

Most guys love the idea of a threesome, if your relationship has gotten to the point where you both truely trust and love each other, there really isn't anything to worry about.

17-02-2011, 22:57
Mdma could go horribly wrong though. For one, its hard to get it up. Also, mdma is such an emotionally bonding thing. What if u guys get strange vibes from each-other? It could be weird. Ive seen relationships ruined over one night of mdma together.

No no - you don't understand - I think the person making this suggestion meant that they should use MDMA for the discussion regarding the threesome?!

17-02-2011, 23:01
No no - you don't understand - I think the person making this suggestion meant that they should use MDMA for the discussion regarding the threesome?!

No. I was talking about having a couple of rails and then fucking each other.

Mdma breaks all boundarys.

Oh and if you're local I suppose I could be up for this?

17-02-2011, 23:08

Are hookups against the SLR rules? lolz

17-02-2011, 23:49
^ certainly not. How could that be just and right - it's certainly not a dating forum, but hooking up with someone who shares some views as you - well, this doesn't have to be done by PM necessarily...although it's advisable to do so ;)

Davez - sorry I got it twisted, I thought you meant it might make it easier to talk about having the threesome, as the OP & her bf would be on the same empathetic level, so open to conversation without potential for misunderstandings and awkwardness.

MDMA sounds like a bad idea for a threesome...to play devils advocate, it sounds likea GREAT idea for the threesome.

Wing it.

18-02-2011, 00:03
haha - I'm tipping this one should be in the bag.. just be natural and fun and casually hint at what it is you're wanting - most guys wont need this type of offer to be spelled out for them ;)

good luck! keep us posted ;)

18-02-2011, 00:53
G sounds like a good idea for the actual threesome. :D

My bf and I are always on mdma when we are with this guy. I'm not sure what he's on - either mdma or ghb.

They aren't like super best friends or anything.

My bf and I definitely want to have a threesome with this guy but it's just bringing it up that may be difficult. and we will probably be seeing him this Monday at that rave/club thing we go to.

18-02-2011, 01:04
^ well if hes a social creature, which he seems, he has been installed with a special set of sex detectors which alert him instantly as soon as u do anything remotely sexual to him(half the time its a false alarm which is why tons of guys think your in to them when your not lol). If your bf is there when u do it and he see your bf not giving a damn and even liking it, hell know whats up like right away. Even if its just vaguely. Hes probably already dreaming that you will have a 3 sum with him.

18-02-2011, 06:24
Just ask him.

Talk to your boyfriend first and find out what it is that you both want to do during the 3 way.

Some couples set up boundaries for what they will and will not do for a 3 way.

I did this with a gay male couple I dated when I told them how I was not going to do any sort of anal sex at all when we had a 3 way and that was fine with both of them.

In another post I remember you wrote about how your boyfriend is bisexual so don't get mad if this other guy and he have sex together if the other guy is bisexual too.

Do it sober. Don't do it while drunk, or on MDMA, GHB, coke/meth, or other drugs. You shouldn't need to PNP-party and play, or have a 3 way or sex while on drugs.

If you do a 3 way correctly, and have excellent sex all boundaries will be broken and you can do this while completely sober.

Don't forget condoms (for their cocks and any sex toys you use), lube, dental dams-cut up condoms work fine (if you do rimming? or don't want a stranger's mouth on/in your vagina?), and have fun.

18-02-2011, 06:48
As a person that was invited to a threesome, I say just let it happen.
When there is sexual tension between people...you know it. The guy will know it, and you guys(couple) will know if he's down.
But I agree trying to figure out just how open he is to a threesome in regards to sexual boundaries. I don't understand how two dudes can have sex with a chick and not have some kind of implicit sexual attraction. I mean, c'mon... that's about as intimate you can get with a person(s).
Part of being in a threesome is sharing the experience.
It can be pretty awesome if everyone's adult about it too. I only did the threesome once or twice with them. And that was 2 yrs ago. We're still good friends. No sexual tension whatsoever.

20-02-2011, 06:54
"Now how do we approach this guy? He's been friends with my bf for a couple years and I just met him a few months ago (at a rave) and I guess we're friends too. Mostly we just see him at raves."

Just ask his friend I doubt he'll be too shocked.. they were prolly discusing how ur bf would bring it up to you for months.. LOL ;P

23-02-2011, 16:30
Should I ask? Should my bf ask? Should we ask together? Should we ask while high (that is actually almost guaranteed)? Do we just come right out and say "Do you want to have a threesome with us?" What happens if we get rejected (okay, I'm scared to death of that!! :P)? He isn't like really close to my bf ... they are just kind of in a crowd that goes to raves and clubs like every two or three weeks ... I just started coming along when I started dating my bf and got into it a few months ago.

23-02-2011, 16:47
In my experience it's best to talk it over with your SO and set boundaries, discuss things, etc. After that you want to make sure to not force it. If you hang out with/party with the third person, just let it happen if its going to. You definitely want to let the situation unfold by itself and don't put too much pressure on anyone. It can definitely be an amazing experience, just don't push it too hard or not set boundaries


23-02-2011, 19:44
I wish that second guy was me,but I hope he is really a bro of your BF otherwise I can see strange situation

24-02-2011, 03:19
ask , but make it seem like your totally joking, just to see the reaction, then go from there/..

24-02-2011, 12:21
if you discuss it whilst you're drunk/on something, discuss it AGAIN sober afterwards. i have been in the most ridiculous back and forth for nearly a year due to a particular person being well up for this when he's fucked but not prepared to discuss and hence arrange it sober. get your boyf to just drop it into conversation first, then after he's felt it out a bit, you talk to him in terms of what you'd actually do. that should seal the deal.

or if you find out he might be up for it, you may not even have to proposition him, just end up in a situation where it could happen and do it.