Drug Dealer catch phrases

Hey, im a bit bored so i was just wondering, wot types of BS has sum dodgy DD spun u to get u to buy stuff? ive heard a few perlers in my time.... >
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Whats ya name?
What ya had?
Reach for the lasers.
Safe as fuck.
>

dd: really man we just ran out of gel caps. i promise you man i wouldn't do it to ya, fuck its new years('96).
me: i dunno....
dd: swear man i know they're disprin capsules, but i swear mate its the best fucken md powder in 'em. i made them up myself....(looks like disprin white/blue pushed together)
dd continues.... look i'm right here not going anywhere any problems you come back right no worries... you'll want more you'll be back...
it went on and i eventually, god knows why i was so trusting and he sooo genuine like doin me a favour, hooked up two disprin from him, he dissappeared into the crowd not to be seen again.... anyway no headaches that night!
i'm not as green as i am cabbage looking

DD: naaa.. this is a new batch aie..

There's the good old MDNA line... you know, the new super potent stuff that's better than normal ecstasy...

The classic has to be;
"look at me, right, I look fucked right, so they've got to be good pills"
OR the simple
"trust me"
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"you've just got to do all kinds of things and then...POW!" - Camden Dealer.

It's funny, I have only ever been sold shit at a party once and that was my first ever pill... luckily it was followed up by a friendly girl who sold me my first WMT... the original WMT!!!
Since then the worst that has happened is that I got sold a meth cap instead of a MD cap but I am pretty sure the guy just gave me the wrong thing (then again?).
I usually prepare so I don't have to buy on the night, but if I do have to I just seem to have this knack for sniffing out the good shit... my first ever time at HOME in Sydney (no hassles please, I don't really like the place) I managed to sniff out the original red HQs from a stranger for 35ea within an hour of getting there (I am from Melbourne and my Sydney friends just didn't believe it).
A BL friend told me that people think I can find pills in a church.. yet to try that one.

DD: Wanna buy some *insert speed/ket bomb here*.
Me: Nah mate, they're crap anyhow
DD: Nah man, they're hell speedy shit
Me: exactly
DD: huh? you takin the piss mate??
*Me leave quickly*
I don't even bother saying anything anymore, I just say no thanks, makes life easier.
[This message has been edited by Mr E. Moore (edited 08 June 2001).]

Best/(worst?) line I eva heard was mid SEP2000(john00fleming). There were three weekends that the olympics covered, during which HOME was used for other purposes (a VIP bash that I 'hear' a bouncer took great pleasure in excluding Bill Gates himself from at the door cos he didnt have his VIP pass/ticket/invite/thing.. but thats just trivia and dribble) and Sublime was moved to the new (very unimmpressive) Manning bar at the Sydney UNI... Upon hunting our goods before the night we were told we could score from a friend of a friend who would 'be there'.
When he wasnt, we bought elsewhere and this guy tried to sell us these White Euros.
"Oh man they're like MAD shit man... I was driving from gosford to Sydney and had to pull over i was so fucked... They like fuck you eyes something chronic.. Really man they'll make your fucken 'ears bleed'".
An hour after taking them (they werent too dear) all four of us were wondering how on earth paracetamol could make your ears bleed, cos they might as well have been panadol for the effect.
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*There's no place like HOME*
I sure hope you were talking about the old SAT night @home. That did admittantly suck. But dont knock it til you've been to Sublime on a friday. It has the BEST sound system in the goddamn country and is better than some in the UK, and a diehard fan base that im so proud to have been a part of each and every week from NOV17th2000 til MAY12th2001. I know only 3000 people can fit in there at any one time but biggest does NOT meant the best, as proved with The Metro.
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DD: These ones are smooth as, nice and speedy.
Me: Are they md's?
DD: Huh? Nah not that smack shit, these things are pure.
Me: ahhhh ok, I get the picture. Nah I'm fine dude, catch ya
Sometimes I might even mention bluelight, they need to know "The truth is out there"

ive noticed this a bit lately outside kandy and the cage...
dude walks up to you, rushing balls saying he's never felt like this before, wants to meet and greet because he's "so loved up man, i have to meet everyone" for interest sake you ask him what he's on "blahblahblah" (usually unknown or local speed bomb) then he says "i dont have many left, but I want people to know what i'm feeling, did you want one for $50?"
me *I piss myself laughing* "u have to be kidding yeh?"
dude "nah man, its the shit"
me "hehehe, nah, i'll be right, have a good night"
THEN....the dodgy stuff happens...I see him (them) walking past 5 minutes later straight as an arrow! No rushing, not a fucken thing.....SO....be warned, people will try anything!

I've heard this one over the last 6 months or so, and i swear i wanna punch every dodgy fuck that says it ( no matter how good the pill is)..
Buyer : Hmm what u got?
DD : x pill..really nice, not too smacky - really nice. etc(continue BS) .. THEY TEST BLACK INSTANTLY (or , it got a 9 on pill reports)
Buyer : Oh? Can u test it now for me?
DD : Nah, don't like bringing my tester with me
Buyer : Mind if i test it?
DD : Oh, umm, i'd rather not..it's too obvious...
FUCK I HATE THIS KIND OF SHIT!!!
May i just also say, how many of you take camera's to an event?
It is possibly the funniest thing in the world to get a mate to photograph you just as you make the buy
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEH
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fly high , but watch your head

Photograph <-- sounds like a really good way to get:
a. your camera broken
b. stabbed
c. a & b

This is not really a cacth phrase, but it's the funniest story I've ever heard from a DD.
DD - Hey man you after any pills?
Me - Nah, but my mate is. What have you got?
DD - White X-men.
I then asked my mate if he was interested and against my advice he bought one. Then after the sale I said:
Me - So what are they like?(Knowing very well that they were speed bombs)
DD - They're not bad.
Me - You had them tonight?
DD - Me, yeah I've had abut 20 of them.
Me - 20!!! How do feel?
DD - I feel pretty straight.
Just goes to show.

DD's remind me of used car salesmen, they will try almost anything to secure a sale.
"the truth is only in the pill not from your dealers mouth"
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*I've tried most drugs but, Ecstasy would have to rate as being the sweetest of them all*

I love it when my DD (who is a sorta-friend) says one week -
'Yeah, I grab a couple of samples and hey, give them to my mate who tests them out - if their shit hot - I buy them....'
Next week -
'Yeah, I knew they were shit hot....had them tested and gave them to a mate and they were best!'
I say:
'Cummon man! I'm buying 16 in one hit! Surely you can do better than $35?'
He says:
'Look man, I could sell you pills for $20, but they're shit. For the extra few bucks you are getting the best!'
The crap they go on with. The only thing I respect him for, is the fact they ARE always great stuff!
BP
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"My cat's name is Mittens, my cat's breath smells like cat food." - Ralph, The Simpsons

how about this one:
ME: hmmmm orange dolphin? i heard they were speed bombs . . .
DD: nah man, fuck that! these are wikid!
ME: um well, can i test it then?
DD: (irritated) look i've already tested em'
ME: and . . .?
DD: they're good shit, i've only got two left, i've sold 20 in half an hour
ME: yeah look i'll take it if you test it
*DD is annoyed but performs test - result =
FUCKING ORANGE!*
ME: it went orange, thats speed . . .
DD: nah, the test was wrong, tests don't mean shit . . . they're good ok
classic.
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The greatest love is when your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
-Dalai Lama-

The Funniest was last week, this girl comes up to me and goes:
HER: U want one of these mad pills?
ME: What are they?
HER: Ohh there pickachus, take half and you will peak for 7 hours!!!
ME: Well u take them and enjoy!
Fuck some people are stupid

whos da cunt talkin shit about pikatchu's?!
I FUCK YOU UP!

"These are *real* fucking pills,
I'm talking fucking MDMA and COCAINE!"
"The people i get these off don't fuck around"
"Theres to much smack in pills these days, these will get you reving"

"I had half and I was up all night!!"