Hello all, sorry to bother you all but I really have to wonder what's wrong with me.
A year ago for three months I went a little crazy and was eating a lot of pure MDMA (Of course, you can never be sure it's pure) Molly. From August to late October I was generally rolling every weekend and some weekdays even. Yes, I understand the consequences of these actions. Every time I rolled I felt that "high" that I can remember so well, but once I was sent off to boarding school (therapeutic) and learned a lot about myself. Before when I would roll I would love the lights, have a super burst of energy, and loved to dance. At the time my eating habits were almost unheard of and I used 30 mgs of vyvanse as a way to get out of eating and sleeping. Yet, I still felt them.
Last Halloween I experienced a traumatizing experience on Halloween of getting my heart broken by my boyfriend and best friend. It was the hardest I rolled and the saddest I have ever felt. For seven months or so I wouldn't touch it again, terrified of that awful feeling of ultimate sadness again.
A year later, I am prescribed to 70 mg of Vyvanse daily and I take them consistently. I have been through a lot to get to where I am now and in August I decided to roll again with my best friend. Despite being in a safe, easy environment of just my best friends I took almost 3 points (300 mg) or so and despite it having effected me before I feel anxious, lethargic, I love music but I'd rather sit with random people than my friends and just dance while sitting, and I can't stop thinking of simply how messed up the life style is. My friend explained it as the therapist in me coming out, but I have to wonder if I really just blew out my fuse.
I just hate that my favorite drug suddenly doesn't feel any better than a bad day on vyvanse despite being about to take high amounts.
A year ago for three months I went a little crazy and was eating a lot of pure MDMA (Of course, you can never be sure it's pure) Molly. From August to late October I was generally rolling every weekend and some weekdays even. Yes, I understand the consequences of these actions. Every time I rolled I felt that "high" that I can remember so well, but once I was sent off to boarding school (therapeutic) and learned a lot about myself. Before when I would roll I would love the lights, have a super burst of energy, and loved to dance. At the time my eating habits were almost unheard of and I used 30 mgs of vyvanse as a way to get out of eating and sleeping. Yet, I still felt them.
Last Halloween I experienced a traumatizing experience on Halloween of getting my heart broken by my boyfriend and best friend. It was the hardest I rolled and the saddest I have ever felt. For seven months or so I wouldn't touch it again, terrified of that awful feeling of ultimate sadness again.
A year later, I am prescribed to 70 mg of Vyvanse daily and I take them consistently. I have been through a lot to get to where I am now and in August I decided to roll again with my best friend. Despite being in a safe, easy environment of just my best friends I took almost 3 points (300 mg) or so and despite it having effected me before I feel anxious, lethargic, I love music but I'd rather sit with random people than my friends and just dance while sitting, and I can't stop thinking of simply how messed up the life style is. My friend explained it as the therapist in me coming out, but I have to wonder if I really just blew out my fuse.
I just hate that my favorite drug suddenly doesn't feel any better than a bad day on vyvanse despite being about to take high amounts.