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<Roliepolie>
04-01-2003, 21:14
Iím listening to the set that DJ Nitro was spinning when I did my first ever hit of DMT...
dude, that shit is both the best and worst experience of my life!!!
it completely shatters you within 15 seconds of inhaling. You hear a buzzing for like 10 seconds that gets louder and louder for those 10, then it got ear shattering for the next 5, but that was secondary to what I was seeing...
We all know what caricature is, those shitty drawings of you that you can have done of you at the mall or something... ya know the ones with the funny features that are exagerateís of your body
It looked like when you held the world up to your face on a laminate piece of paper... all of the sudden as the world gets closer to your face for those next 5 seconds, do you start to notice that your no longer staring at just the world, but everything about it has something below the surface... and it scares you. It frightens the shit out of you that for this short pathertic existance of yours youíve only seen the dirt thatís on top... you feel incredibly wasted by that fact you are shredded to bits by what comes next. You then start to see everything for what it really is and not what youíve been seeing it as; that shitty 2D image... now you see everything in 4-D prepare to be frightened more!
Now youíre in this world of complete chaos. And for me it seems that this chaos is caused by how unfamiliar it is to you. Itís like being a rich white kid and going directly to the west side of Chicago, or to be in LA in the middle of a shootout while and earth quake and a riot go on around you, but youíre also in a burning building while a vocano is erupting next door.
Now the ecstasy part of this experience is that you can see all of these real things and innevitably change your life because of this new vision of the world, all without having to experience them. And you know for the entirety(all 15 minutes) of the trip that you are safe. That everything will be ok, that eventually the world will go back to "normal" again, but it doesnít. Youíre only 1 minute into the *trip*. But it isnít a trip, itís much more of an "experience" than that. It is more real than anything that has ever happened to you.
And Iím not quite sure how to explain the next 15 to 20 minutes fo my life. I donít think anyone CAN explain it. It simply is beyond the ability to be recognized by the human brain.
"the alieness nature of DMT is utter-alieness"
that sums it all up.
But in words you can understand, but is such a disappoint to what is in actuallity going on in your mind; the entire universe is then analyzed on the same level that you anaylized that 1 small piece of your life. Youíve only scratched the surface of this thing you call life. You are going to be here for a while, and that becomes the next big fear in your life that oyu may never come back from this reality. You may be stuck seeing everything for what it really is and that might very well kill you.
Itís like the story of a man who spends his entire life in prison, he is then released to the "free" world and the stress is just too much. He just dies 2 years later from the stress of living without rules and confines... but he has the best 2 years of his life, because he is free.
That is the nature of DMT to me. That is what I learned from DMT.
I now see everything in life in the way I saw it before, but now I see it as if looking at a piece of laminate paper with life on it. I now know that something is going to be beneathe the surface of life now. Everything I touch is now different to me. I canít sleep at night because my dreams are to incredible to even understand. So complex is life now that sometimes I just laugh at how beautiful everything is... it makes me feel like the first time I took Ecstasy. I fell asleep after I took the pill and I woke up to what can be described as the most in love I have ever been with life. For the first time in life I finally understood what everything really should mean to me.
It kinda goes back to what Alexander Shulgin said about MDMA the time he took it in the mountains... he turned around and couldnít look at the mountains because it would make him cry to see something so beautiful. I am crying right now while typing this. Iím so torned in my life. I think drugs have done such great things for me. Theyíve really shaped the kind of person I want to be... theyíve also hindered me in the search of how to become that person. I mean, I love them. Iím addicted to them. And I know that I must quit. But Iím scared because I really do receive great gifts from them. Iím so much more open than I used to be.
I will talk to anyone now. And I never fear telling someone how I feel anymore. Iím so much a different person than I used to be, and I like that. I like the kind of person that I have the potential to be. But it seems drugs may also stand in the way of that. I think that some drugs may be ok to continue to use and also not hinder me in this path to becoming a man. Iím not sure which ones the may be.
I know that coke in any form that Iíve been doing it is not going to help me in any way. I know that one has to go. I know that heroin is a beautiful thing; far to beautiful to be doing, especially when youíd sell your family for heroin and it wouldnít phase you in the slightest to hear em say that if you were a heroin user. Youíd nod in simple agreement. Heroin isnít a good thing at all. NOONE can control it. It may allow you some degree of control, but only enough to fool yourself into thinking you have control. You donít!
Acid and Mushrooms will never leave my side. I have learned so many things from LSD and Psylocibin and their analogues that itís unbelieveable the things I have discovered on them. I am indeed a better person not because I use them, but because of the ways that I discover life can be lived while on these wonderful tools.
Ecstasy has already been described here, obviously itís got perks, but I take it enough that I donít get depressed for 2 days... itís more like a week of downward spirals, until then and after a week itís a big climb back to normalcy. At which time I do it again.
That needs to stop.
Now Iíve reached the 3rd minute of my trip...
Now you see why DMT cannot be, nor would you ever wwant to read about, explained.
Iíve left out about 12831236132163712 trillion ideas which have flashed in my head. and I could recall from memory EVERY SINGLE ONE.
They are stuck with me, and life is different both for the better and for the worse because of it.
If you ever feel like youíre "READY" for this, then you are NOT ready for ACID, let alone DMT.
And god damn the man that thinks that Salvia canít do the same things for you that DMT can. It has shattered me much in the same way that DMT just did. It will change you. And if youíre one of those type who doesnt like to see both the good and bad in the world, do NOT take this.
If you are NAIVE in any way, it will take that NAIVETY and rip you a new blackhole. In a universal and monstumental way. The experience will be bad for you. I donít recommend that and Kandy Kids try this one. I donít recommend that ANYONE try this one. It does you, not the other way around.
-Rolie-

robd
04-01-2003, 22:46
increadible! post...thank you for sharing your new found knowledge....

LightSeeker
05-01-2003, 01:09
Man, this is amazing! What you have written, not DMT. I believe that DMT as well as most psychedelic type drugs do open your mind to understanding certain mysterious of universal being that we are simply NOT CAPABLE of understanding in our every day lives. I think that while this experience has been very very powerful and changing for you, it is not a negative change if you are able to integrate it to helping you see what is right and wrong for you. MDMA allows us to see an emotional and united fabric in existance, while LSD, psylocibin, DMT, and other indole type substances allow a higher understanding to reality, in fact shattering it and letting us see what the Hindu religion speaks of perhaps, that reality is only our perception of it, while our true nature is not flesh and blood, but "spirit". I think that you have been given a beautiful gift, even if it is frightening and difficult to integrate into your life. I have had experiences like this, my first MDMA experience being a lot like this, when every issue in my life was nonsense and it hit me that I can;t understand how people hate. If you were here, I think I'd love to hear you tell me more about what you experienced, it appears that you are on your way to great understanding. Peace :)

nickthecheese
05-01-2003, 03:20
[quote]Originally posted by <Roliepolie>:

And Iím not quite sure how to explain the next 15 to 20 minutes fo my life. I donít think anyone CAN explain it. It simply is beyond the ability to be recognized by the human brain.
"the alieness nature of DMT is utter-alieness"
that sums it all up.
-Rolie-
Yep, DMT is simply unreality in its purest form.
I can't remember where I picked up this tidbit of information, but I heard somewhere once that the brain releases (naturally stored?) DMT into the brain during the last moments of a persons life. I assumed this was why some people often see "...Their life flash before their eyes..." during near-death experiences. Maybe it was just the brain releasing DMT, which caused the hallucinations?
Excellent trip report Roliepolie, thanks for posting :)

roliepolie
05-01-2003, 06:38
thanks for the replies, I appreciate them...
I honestly can't describe the DMT "experience" in any words... in fact, Ideas and emotions go by sooo fast during the experience that most people mumble words, or fragments of words at different times during the trip.
In other words:
While hovered over a toilet you might hear one say "oompf narl hongen"
and it could be some great secret to life that noone could ever comprehend, nor would you want to in a non-DMT state.
Once recently soemone held up some DMT and just the sight of it, and the thought of using it again caused me to wretch and vomit. And I've done it a few times since this experience. This couldn't be classified as the best one.
The things I've stated here leave me wanting to write a novel about DMT and that one experience. The ideas which flow through my head now, in this state of Post DMT euphoria which shall be the rest of my life, are simply too deep and complex to try and form into a word, let alone sentences in a book.
Those are like 3 ideas that I thought would help begin to convey how DMT can help as well as shatter you.
All I usually hear about DMT is that you can't explain anything about DMT. I wanted to show with my experience that we may be able to bring something explainable out into the light about DMT other than "Dude, it fucked me up... like I have no words to describe."
It can be explained, but not in words. Hold that pipe up to your mouth, and if you are NOT trembling then you haven't done the research that should be REQUIRED before use of DMT..
DMT is definately not a TRIP by any means... trips end. DMT will stay with you, and be there influencing everything you do for the rest of your life.
It's awe-inspiring the things you can learn on DMT. and I'm quite scared by the blindness of society who doesn't know these great secrets.
DMT isn't for ANYONE. It is something that I think isn't for us. I'm not sure that mankind is ready to experience this kind of knowledge and see these beautiful things.
It reminds me of the visions of Revelations where God has the disciple in on the isle of Patmos(sp) and he is showing him the visions of the Apocolypse... noone could understand the beauty of heaven without experiencing it firsthand...and that is DMT.
I'm so frustrated trying to write about this experience... I feel like I'm leaving things out... and what sucks is that I KNOW I am. :(
O well... it's a piece of my knowledge through experience. Take it or leave it, It's what i've got.
I was wondering if this would be accepted by Erowid if I posted it there... :D

LightSeeker
05-01-2003, 20:41
Erowid would probably be very acceptying of this trip report. Dont be so hard on yourself, it just cant be explained in words. Thats the point. You've done a pretty good job of explaining little tidbits. People who have experienced this, will understand, those who haven't will try to understand but wont truly.

spunpixiegirl
05-01-2003, 23:49
That was absolutley beautiful Roliepolie,incredibly articulate, despite the fact that you feel that you didn't and couldn't relate the sum total of your experience to us. I find your precaution to be quite educational but also desperately intrigiung. Perhaps no human being can really handle or should even take on the experience, but even so, and possibly because of that remark, I want to see for myself.
I was moved by the way you talked about your drug usage. I happen to be of the exact same mind and heart regarding my own and yes the coke has to go. Not yet but it will. The hallucinogens can always stay, for however long I am able to get something substantial out of their usage.
Question: Why is it that DMT being offered to you recently caused such an intense physical reaction and why if so convinced that it's not for us, did you return to it?
Thanks again for sharing. Peace
[ 06 January 2003: Message edited by: spunpixiegirl ]

roliepolie
06-01-2003, 06:14
Glad you asked that. :D
DMT has intrigued me since my first usage. I had known nothing of it previously and didn't know what I was getting myself into when I did it.
I just picked up the pipe and hit what looked like some primo'd weed.
FLASH!
And I wasn't prepared. I immediately thanked them and began to you after the experience because of the trick they pulled on me...
but I was hooked on the idea of learnign about what had just happened to me.
I think the reason I did it again, is because I thought that maybe that would help me better understand what happened. It has infact made things far more complex and ever harder to understand.
My next uses have presented me with sooo many new ideas and wonderful gifts that I believe that I may not have really seen all there was to see. And that keeps me going. But in my research, I'm also beginning to believe that I don't deserve this. Meaning that I am not the person to know all of these great truths.
I really don't think that anyone who is deserving of knowing whould admit to their ablity to know them... meaning they would be humble people...
It's a matter of not thinking I'm worthy. I also know that my quest is becoming more difficult because of adding these complexities.
That makes me wonder if I should wait until I'm able to grasp what Ialready know... that could take me forever.

fb1
06-01-2003, 10:28
wherd the fuck up.
I can empathise with your thoughts on the great potential for both incredible growth and terrible consequence of using drugs. Its a paradox.
fb1.
Master of Space and Time.

Spinal
06-01-2003, 10:29
That was a great read. I must say I can relate with it alot. I really enjoyed reading it and hope you do send it to Erowid. I mean dam, the was a good read. I really have to thank you for writing the part about your drug usege, it opend my eyes to what Ive been trying to say to myself since my DMT experiance but could not quite manage. My most sincere thanks. - Spinal.

roliepolie
06-01-2003, 11:09
every time I read this it makes me cry. and it makes my friends to cry to see me so conflicted. they have adopted this as a story in which to use to educate. I'm gonna go clean this up maybe in Word and repost the edit... cuz I think the wording is what kills the way it reads the most.
I di post it to Erodiw, and I posted it with my email addy so that peeps could contact me about it.
I just wish I could say more... *damnit* :D

Splatt
17-01-2003, 01:18
Excellent report!

Summer of Love
17-01-2003, 03:57
great report man. ive only used dmt(5me0) once, and honestly i sadly cant really recall the experience too well. all i really remember was after 1 large hit, i heard a sound similar to loud TV fuzz that kept gettign louder and louder, similar to what you experienced, followed by just a strange sense of being ripped through time, but not my body, my body didnt even exist anymore, it was just like i was a lost soul flying through human existance and history, which seemed to last literally years and years. i remember many profound thoughts, but i just cant put my finger on any of them.
[ 21 January 2003: Message edited by: Summer of Love ]

Frodo
23-11-2004, 17:13
I think this is one of the best DMT trip reports ive read to date :D

roliepolie
08-12-2004, 03:15
thanks a million, all. I recently had another blast of this marvelous substance, and a new report is in the works.

Psilo707
08-12-2004, 03:34
Now THATS a good report. One of the best DMT reports I've read.

A little help with the paragraphing and spacing and it will be perfectly ready for erowid :)

Mean Girl
08-12-2004, 04:41
A year later and still as blessed? YEY :)

St0rk
08-12-2004, 11:21
this DMT blew my mind http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?threadid=50414&highlight=DMT%2A

Ximot
08-12-2004, 17:36
"It is more real than anything that has ever happened to you."


And I thought this about acid and shrooms and the like . . . and salvia, still! What you are saying is pretty much what I felt about salvia when I first had encounters with it.

I am in such awe of your report I cannot begin to explain it in words. I am eagerly but not at all impatiently waiting for my own first experience, but I want to be more prepared than I am now, though I understand that nothing can prepare me for it, actually.

What I would like to know, though, is what your dosage was, and whether you have tried its cousin, 5-meo-dmt, and how it compares, in your book.

peace
ximot