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Depressing MDMA trip??

solidsnake_91

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Joined
May 30, 2010
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Last night I had tried ecstasy (MDMA) for the first time. To give a little history about myself, I have been doing drugs since I was 15 and have been a recovering opiate addict. Recently I have been very depressed with my life. I know that my brain is producing little amounts of serotonin. I called my contact and he hooked me up with a "triple stacked" ecstasy pill. To get to the point, The trip was not as I was hoping to be. I felt the side effects of the drug (jaw clenching, increase in body temperature, involuntary eye jiggling) but the euphoria was not intense to me and I was more depressed than anything. I knew that the substance I took was ecstasy, but I felt lonely and and uncomfortable. I did make the mistake of tripping by myself for the first hour, but I went to my best friend's house and the euphoria was still not that great. Is there any explanation for this? I am 100% sure that I took an ecstasy pill, but the euphoria was almost a dysphoria. However, the next day I felt mellow and more at ease with myself and to others. I've been reading a lot of trip reports on MDMA but it seems like people put the drug on a throne when it was not satisfying for me. Can anyone explain this?
 
Mdma ampiflys whatever mood you were in when you took the drug, if your sad when you take the drug you'll most likly get even more sadder.
 
yea i had one of those randomly it was reallly bad but then the next time i did it . it was awesome lol
 
Yea the 2 times I took MDMA alone I got pretty depressed. The first time was horrible and nearly unbearable. The 2nd time I had an alright time, but still felt the depression. Never felt depressed when I took it with friends, always good times =)
 
How were you 100% sure you got mdma?

piperazines easily display the same symptoms you describe plus they are a bitch to recover from.


Nerxt point...............Just because your dealer calls it triple stacked doesnt mean its as good as three "unstacked" pills. It most likely had the same average ammount in it. Dealers tell you its triple stacked so they can make a sale.

Its quite possible you had a barely threshold experience. Thats if you even had mdma.
 
MDMA is kind of bittersweet to me in that it makes me feel amazing, confident and sensually stimulated but also brings out the sadness/dullness in other people who aren't on the drug. In other words, everyone around me feels like a party pooper. It wears off quicker than I'd like, which also makes me feel a bit disappointed and like I have to plan my experiences to the last detail to ensure an exciting roll.

Taking E alone has not proven very rewarding for me, either. In my limited experience, dosing alone is boring and a little depressing. Ecstasy is great for psychoanalyzing and such, but it's also a fun drug that makes me want to go "out" and connect with others. Taking it alone in my home felt like a massive waste of a potentially magnificent experience.

While you may very well have "gotten MDMA", you may have gotten other things in addition to it, such as caffeine, meth, piperazines, DXM, etc. Even pills that are considered good quality can have other things in them. From the 5 pills I've taken, I can tell a definite difference in each one--more or less jaw clenching, more or less energy, worse comedowns, etc. I know for a fact that there was SOME MDMA in those pills, but I don't discount the fact that there could've been other things as well.
 
MazDan is correct piperazines display many of the feelings that mdma would make you feel. Probably the dysphoria you got was from the piperazines.

Next time, if you do try again have a better relaxed setting with people, and test your pills.
 
what Lady Codone said sounded most true to what I felt. I have interacted with a couple of sober people while I was tripping that night and it seemed as though everyone was a "party pooper". I was expecting the drug to be more like opiates. I wanted to be happy and enjoy my house with some music in the background.
 
All of these are very good points.

*you may have gotten "piped" with piperazines which feel almost exactly how you described,
*doing mdma while depressed can only exacerbate your negative emotions, and
*don't do e alone until you've done it enough to feel comfortable with it. After doing it for years I still can't do it alone; I get too wrapped up in my own head (even though I am a very happy person) and need people I love to be around me when I do it!
 
MDMA can do strange things. I've been on high doses at raves and been surrounded by lots of people, but if I can't see my friends I've experienced some of the saddest feelings of isolation I've known could ever exist.

Another time when I was at a rave, there was a glass cube with a shower. A stripper got into the glass box and the shower turned on while the stripper slowly removed all clothing while dancing. A crowd gathered around to watch. I took it all in, and in one horrible "moment of clarity" I'll never forget I was filled with disgust and revulsion and all I could see was how pathetic, disgusting and shallow it was to be in an underground club filled with depraved people fucked up on drugs. Note: That perspective was not necessarily true or right, but it was obviously dredged up from some subconscious space that exists in my psyche.

I have had other similar experiences, but I won't share them. I'm very experienced with MDMA; and the point that impresses me is that at certain doses or perhaps because of nearly 8 to 10 years of using, that MDMA can have some very psychedelic properties. Both of those experiences were more like LSD or mushroom "magnifying of perception" experiences instead of guaranteed euphoria and a good time. The shift in mood and perception was instantaneous and very profound in intensity.

For what it's worth, in all my years of using MDMA I've never found it to be a really euphoric experience. Sure, I feel good and that everything is good with the world, but it's not profound euphoria like I have had on mushrooms where it's so intense I'm literally rolling around on the floor in bliss beyond words. I've only gotten that real euphoria from MDMA once or twice, and one of those times was when I used it with poppers on the dance floor, and in that moment I melted into a puddle of bliss.
 
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It could just of been the setting you were in, I get the same way if theres sober people around it can be really downbuzz especially on acid :(
 
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