TDS Member Feedback - Questions? Comments? Suggestions?

TDS Member Feedback 2010
​

Greetings TDSers! TDS staff is constantly working to maintain a great forum that best works for its members. So naturally, we want you to help us with keeping this forum strong as we move into the future!

Feedback can either be posted directly in this thread, PMed to staff, or if you wish to remain anonymous, through TDS Anonymous Thread (and your posts will be moved to this thread accordingly). If you are unfamiliar with this concept, Anonymous Posting allows one to post as an unregistered guest, meaning that nobody can tell who you are!

Feel free to include constructive criticism about the forum moderators. We don't mind if you use our usernames in reference. However, we do ask that you focus comments on moderator actions and not any person's character. Regarding members, please refrain from lines such as "Username makes the forum much less welcoming." Such feelings, if serious enough, should instead be sent to staff through Private Message.

What would we like to hear?

1. As broad or specific as you wish, how could TDS as a forum be improved? Do you have any original ideas for TDS? This can range from ideas for new types of threads to suggestions about forum layout to anything from the far corners of your imagination.

2. Do any part of our Forum Guidelines come off as unfair, unreasonable and/or incomplete? Building on this, TDS is a forum that has rather strict rules when compared with other forums. Do you believe that we are too strict in certain areas? Not strict enough in others?

Additional Questions

The purpose of these additional questions are more focused on TDS's place within the proper BL community. Please only answer these if you have ample free time!

1. Can you give us your overall impression of TDS from when you first found the site and the forum? And now that you've been here awhile, does it still match that impression, or has it changed? How? And is that a good or bad thing in your opinion? This can extend anywhere from changes in overall tone to themes of threads to community feel to anything else which comes to mind.

2. Are there any themes/topics from other BL forum(s), which you think would be good to include in TDS as well? In contrast, are any themes/topics frequently discussed in TDS, which you think might be better developed in other fourm(s)?

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Thank you from the entire BL staff for taking time out of your day to let us know how we can better improve.

bump.

Edit: or are we just perfect?

Pretty please? With sugar, sprinkles, icing, etc. on top?

If it is the case that we are indeed perfect, you can tell us...that counts as feedback

there used to be this mod here, hiiis handle started with a Z, he wasnt so perfect, actually he was kind of strange... in a good way :D

^^ I liked that guy

what did you like about him?


ps i love that guy, even though im slow, sry!

1. As broad or specific as you wish, how could TDS as a forum be improved? Less stuck in the mud attitude towards those who self injure...When I try to post how I feel sometimes it comes across as 'glorifying SI' this idea that I cannot express how I feel about any disordered behavior is obtuse...I am for the slicing open of the skin despite all the downfalls it to me holds greater release then 'talk therapy'...

2. Do any part of our Forum Guidelines come off as unfair, unreasonable and/or incomplete? As I described in the previous question this needs to be modified...Or gotten rid of...We aren't perfect and sometimes discussing how one engages in an act healthy or not helps...

Building on this, TDS is a forum that has rather strict rules when compared with other forums. Do you believe that we are too strict in certain areas? Not strict enough in others? Yes I do...While I agree the no posting of SI pictures again, if I want to post something about how I engage in self-injury because it aids in me coping who are you as a mod to tell me I cannot do this?!...

1. Can you give us your overall impression of TDS from when you first found the site and the forum? It was helpful and warm...

And now that you've been here awhile, does it still match that impression, or has it changed? Now its cold and full of hostility towards others IE. Especially towards those who like myself have autism...And is that a good or bad thing in your opinion? Very negative in my humble opinion...

Thanks for your feedback!


Anyone else?
You don't have to answer each question (though that is welcome! We understand it can seem too time consuming)
Any feedback is welcome!

HC made some good points, touchy and tough to balance but thats the stuff we are looking for.


i think it would be convenient to address what we can in as real of time as possible; Hanna, we have talked many time briefly, and it has always been in the same manner as above. you are intelligent, creative, and caring, and you have out of know where shared those attributes and touched others lives in a good way.

i know you must realize why we draw the line the way we do, i understand the need to be explicit at times to really really get your point across. there are others though who might not be in the frame of mind to handle such intensity, that is why they are there in the first place most likely, and the end results will be/has been counter productive, to more then one person, but that one person is one to many who came for help and left enticed to do more harm, and that is utterly unacceptable.


the same goes for drugs or alcohol; similar cause, similar destructive results.

panic in paradise said:

HC made some good points, touchy and tough to balance but thats the stuff we are looking for.


i think it would be convenient to address what we can in as real of time as possible; Hanna, we have talked many time briefly, and it has always been in the same manner as above. you are intelligent, creative, and caring, and you have out of know where shared those attributes and touched others lives in a good way.

i know you must realize why we draw the line the way we do, i understand the need to be explicit at times to really really get your point across. there are others though who might not be in the frame of mind to handle such intensity, that is why they are there in the first place most likely, and the end results will be/has been counter productive, to more then one person, but that one person is one to many who came for help and left enticed to do more harm, and that is utterly unacceptable.


the same goes for drugs or alcohol; similar cause, similar destructive results.

Click to expand...

The thing is sometimes one needs to vent and not care about what happens in the fallout...Because the breakdown in the persons life is much worse then anyone else...I don't realize why it should be a rule...I can't wrap my autistic mind around a concept that is so utterly babyish and brainless...You are in essence playing the babysitter and as the babysitte I for one grow tired of mods totalitarian hands...Smacking us into place when we do wrong...Big Brother Much?...Don't worry we know what is best for you, just be quiet and do as you are told... May as well be a corpse because you treat us like imbeciles...

Hannah there has to be basic rules in a forum. We can't have members posting blatently triggering matterial. There are many people on here with self harm problems and no doubt they would be triggered by detailed and rather explicit descriptions of you or anyone else cutting yourself.

It's no different then the no triggering rule for drugs really. I can't very well come on and post detailed descriptions of how my last hit was, how much i took, what i took, etc. There are basic rules that have to be followed by everyone. We are certainly not totaltarian nor do we act as big brother. But any forum thats going to work has to have basic groundrules.

I have been to some psych forums, ect and I just wanted to tell you guys that you are the best! You are always so understanding and always know what to say to encourage healthy living. I love TDS mods the most out of everyone on Bluelight. You guys rock, seriously!

Much love,
gloeek

^Thank you honey!

Thank you gloeek

Forum Moderator said:

TDS Member Feedback 2010
​

Greetings TDSers! TDS staff is constantly working to maintain a great forum that best works for its members. So naturally, we want you to help us with keeping this forum strong as we move into the future!

Feedback can either be posted directly in this thread, PMed to staff, or if you wish to remain anonymous, through TDS Anonymous Thread (and your posts will be moved to this thread accordingly). If you are unfamiliar with this concept, Anonymous Posting allows one to post as an unregistered guest, meaning that nobody can tell who you are!

Feel free to include constructive criticism about the forum moderators. We don't mind if you use our usernames in reference. However, we do ask that you focus comments on moderator actions and not any person's character. Regarding members, please refrain from lines such as "Username makes the forum much less welcoming." Such feelings, if serious enough, should instead be sent to staff through Private Message.

What would we like to hear?

1. As broad or specific as you wish, how could TDS as a forum be improved? Do you have any original ideas for TDS? This can range from ideas for new types of threads to suggestions about forum layout to anything from the far corners of your imagination.

2. Do any part of our Forum Guidelines come off as unfair, unreasonable and/or incomplete? Building on this, TDS is a forum that has rather strict rules when compared with other forums. Do you believe that we are too strict in certain areas? Not strict enough in others?

Additional Questions

The purpose of these additional questions are more focused on TDS's place within the proper BL community. Please only answer these if you have ample free time!

1. Can you give us your overall impression of TDS from when you first found the site and the forum? And now that you've been here awhile, does it still match that impression, or has it changed? How? And is that a good or bad thing in your opinion? This can extend anywhere from changes in overall tone to themes of threads to community feel to anything else which comes to mind.

2. Are there any themes/topics from other BL forum(s), which you think would be good to include in TDS as well? In contrast, are any themes/topics frequently discussed in TDS, which you think might be better developed in other fourm(s)?

---

Thank you from the entire BL staff for taking time out of your day to let us know how we can better improve.

Click to expand...

TDS is great, but it does lack some things that ccould be very helpful.

Topics discussed here are almost always related to Drugs----->relationship failure or legal trouble. People in really bad situations. Of course people with chronic generalized anxiety are here, and the word benzo hardly ever isnt used.

People cut themselves - but thats just one way..my point - since someone may come in this thread actually contemplating suicide, would you rather have him find a helpful link of a 24/7 sucidide helpline, or something for just cutting in specific.?

One last thing NEEDS TO BE DONE!!!

The dark side must have the opportunity to turn light everyone in awhile....basically...if you go here - you get advice - you feel bettter, its still "the dark side" . Anyone who has been through any trauma, abuse, bullying, a terrible breakup, a chance at jail time - and left feeling better can be a testament to other people that not only is TDS active, it HELPS. There is a light at the end of the tunnell. Weaher the mods want to congratulate him in a stickied thead; or however its done, updating - keeping on top of it as if it was rehab. Most people here will live the rest of their lives with some depression, the question is, how much, and will they win the battle? Its like alcoholism in that sense - it never goes away.

Thank you so much for your feedback Colmes, we really appreciate it.

I'm not sure if I understand the first part of your suggestion though, we do have a suicide thread with helpful 24/7 links, and we do have a cutting specific thread. Are you saying we shouldn't have those? Or that we need something else instead?

Thanks again man

n3ophy7e said:

Thank you so much for your feedback Colmes, we really appreciate it.

I'm not sure if I understand the first part of your suggestion though, we do have a suicide thread with helpful 24/7 links, and we do have a cutting specific thread. Are you saying we shouldn't have those? Or that we need something else instead?

Thanks again man

Click to expand...

hehe no need to thank n3o - but....well, it is kinda nice, you;re welcome (poses for glamor shot)

I didnt phrase that clearly, sorry bout that. The number definitely needs to stay - in fact, more need to be added. Each one is designated to its state i've looked for 5 hours for an experiential component part of my grade - and FINALLY found a nice (semi helpful) older man who spoke to me about how he tries to help people, how they can get right back in touch with him, and how it was all local.

Not to be funny at all, but looking for the right suicide hotline can alone make you want to commit suicide. Maybe TDS is the only place where s/he wants to visit - and thinks "if BL recommends it - I trust it enough to try it...nothing to lose" - and that would be our best type of accomplishment.

Okay cool, thanks for the clarification

n3ophy7e said:

Okay cool, thanks for the clarification

Click to expand...

Sure...but really, what about the concept of progression? Individual progression.


AA, NA, they are all very effective; for many reasons, but another one is getting support from others - and showing them you CAN beat it. When someone here kicks OC, while they suffer from depression, or a 3 year coke habit....or have no reason to live they feel, or think no one loves them, they need logic, they need support - and that alone for some people can give them a little spark in their step. The "darkside" in my opinion is like a private forum, and should be now recognized foro its members who really spend their time to rehabilitate people they don't eben know. In other forums, people would say "do it" here we care...and THAT is something thats amazing.

I have a suggestion. It's been done in the past (kinda) - TDS live chat, maybe on Skype for those who do the webcam thing (I don't really, but may become inspired). Obviously it would be like the AIM chatroom used by a lot of people from the Lounge in that it wouldn't be affiliated directly with Bluelight/TDS. It may be worth gauging interest.

1. I used to think TDS made my depression worse and didn't think when I first joined the site that the content would be healthy for me to read. I feel exactly the opposite now! Some of you have become among my closest confidant(e)s and lifelong friends, even if I've not met most of the "regulars" in person (this is changing soon, yay ). I have received support from so many people and my only complaint is really that we're not all in one place!

2. There is some crossover already with SLR and some of the drug forums, and I think the staff is doing a wonderful job with knowing where and when to move threads. Overall, you're all doing wonderfully as mods and making what IMO are very good judgment calls.

General commentary:

I think that the rules in place regarding no triggering content/NSFW tags are absolutely fair and necessary. As an example, although I do not self-harm and have no history of it, it has upset me to see some photos related to cutting in the past. Hannah, I see your point about wanting to feel free to discuss these things in an open and frank manner, it is important to also use tact and courtesy. There are ways to talk about SI that are not potentially triggering; same goes for every other serious issue. I know I wouldn't want to see photos in the alcoholism thread of everyone's favorite poison of choice.

Speaking of the alcoholism thread, it's helped me probably more than any single thread on Bluelight has and allowed me the chance to tell my own story without fear of being judged or marginalized.

Many thanks to the mods here, as they have probably THE toughest job on Bluelight. Lives are saved and improved here with a frequency and such a high level of competence is displayed by both staff and members. I read other message boards, some of which deal with mental health issues, but none of such a high caliber as TDS overall.

I have learned a lot from TDS over the years and although at times it burns me out and I have to step away from the computer, I love this place and the people that have developed it, past, present and future. There are many times when reading a kind word from someone could do more than any drug out there - we have a true fellowship.