Ibogaine - taking the leap Monday

Ibogaine - big update / no silver bullet

Enough.

20+ years of in and out of 12 step programs, surgical implants of Naltrexone in my arm, clean time on my own & in / out of NA, and the seemingly inevitable fall when the battle to the demon is once again lost.

I borrowed the money and am flying from New Jersey to San Diego on Sunday. Monday morning I'm checked into the Ibogaine treatment center in Mexico: http://ibogaine-therapy.net/

A lot of questions / theories / opinions have been posted here about Ibogaine, but now you'll get a first-person view. I'll update if I can from the center (they say they have wi-fi available), otherwise I'll post again when I'm back.

I'm scared shitless, but, at this point, more scared of not doing it.

Please say a prayer for me (or two), folks - I'd appreciate it.

Good luck man and please let us know what you can about ibogaine after the visit.

Yes good luck and PLEASE write a report after you are done.

Good luck, I hope it gives you the answers you need.

Hope everything goes well man

Day one -- First off, yes, they apparently have internet access for those of us here.

Rather than giving a run-down of what Ibogaine is, I'll advise anyone interested to Google it, and point you toward the Wikipedia page that gives a quick run down on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibogaine .

I don't know if I'll be able to update every day (I am expecting to be a little wiped out after taking Ibogaine), but here's the blow by blow to this point.

Flew into San Diego last night and crashed at the Motel 6. This morning at shortly before noon, a representative / therapist from the clinic (Chris) picked me up and we drove across the border to Tijuana. Talked a lot about my drug history, who I am, why I doing this. Was honest enough to say that while the part of me that wants to stop us loud enough that I'm here (after borrowing $5500 + airfare), there is still a vice saying "don't do it... go back ... I am and always have been a dope fiend and there is no changing that any more than I can change my eyes or anything else about the essence of who and what I am..." I don't know ... I want to live, but I don't want to be in my old "12 step" zone where I'm spending my days not getting high with occasional intense cravings.

Anyway, checked in shortly after noon. Very "new age" sort of groovy feel about the place. Watched the documentary on Ibogaine (I'd already seen it on You-Tube - suggest anyone interested check it out. It's about 45 minutes long - tracks an American and an African woman in Africa as they go through Ibogaine). Excellent show - well worth watching. Had an excellent dinner -- lots of the standard old questions about drug history and health background.

Did a hit (14 bags) of dope this morning before coming; started getting sick about an hour ago and they gave me an 80 MG Oxy, so I'm chill for now.

Depending on my blood work and whether the coke has cleared my system since my last use Thursday night, I may do the Ibogaine (first part of it) tomorrow afternoon / early evening.

In other words, not much to report yet. Standard first day of a drug rehab, although this place is very different in its feel (and, I hope, in its ultimate result). Well, I'll keep you posted.

I checked out the wiki link posted above and it says Ibogaine is not illegal in Canada.

I'd definitely consider Ibogaine therapy if it's available/affordable here.



edit:

A quick web search revealed there is an Ibogaine treatment facility 1.5 hours from where I live.

http://www.ibogatherapyhouse.net/cms/

All I need now is an extra five grand or so. lol

I'm really curious to hear about your experiences. I've been reading a lot about Ibogaine lately. Not sure it's for me, but I'm intrigued by the experiences of those who have gone through the rite. I hope it works out for you. Sending some positive energy your way.

Good luck man. It should be quite an experience.
I'm curious how an ibogaine trip would be different than taking an epic dose of lsd?
I've seen a few videos and read a bit about it but I haven't come across why ibogaine and not something else? Is it just the duration or does it have a completely different vibe to it?

Do you just trip balls for 24+ hours? Or does the trip sitter work you through the experience somehow? The videos I've seen it seems like the trip sitter doesn't do anything but keep the person comfortable/clean. It seems like it would be cheaper/easier to just seek out a sheet of acid and have a trip sitter...and maybe some benzos/anti-psychotics.

But I really hope it works out for you and look forward to hearing about the experience.

^
Just because they are both hallucinogens does not mean they can be substituted. Ibogaine has a completely different structure than lsd and affects the body differently.

anyways
I am also anxious to hear about your experience !! Good luck !

DAY TWO -- woke up sick, of course, but for the first time in many months I didn't start the day with a needle in my arm. They gave me an 80 mg Oxycontin to keep the monster at bay.

Met a few other people who've stopped by who did Ibogaine in the past (many, like me, who went through multiple 12 step program rehabs and didn't stay clean... and all of them have been clean since doing Ibogaine, some as recently as 6 months ago, others as long as 10 years ago), generally supportive folks there to rap about the experience.

BTW, Sara, the sister of the woman who runs this place (Clare) is an unbelievable cook. I mean truly unbelievable.

I'm scheduled for some kind of coffee enema this afternoon. Hadn't known about that aspect, but they say it clears one out completely and makes the Ibogaine work better.

I'm scheduled to take the Ibogaine late this afternoon / early this evening. I'm kind of still scared shitless. I can compare it to the first time I did acid many many years ago - that fear that this unknown substance will cause you to lose yourself forever; that'll I'll be some kind of psycho zombie afterwords, rambling on about visions to people who aren't dying to hear about them. I'm still torn about the whole thing - a large part of me wants to run to downtown Tijuana and check out what I've heard is a kick-ass dope scene. The larger part (obviously) wants to not die, doesn't want to keep living my life as a slave to this powder. But I've got to be honest that I'm torn. I can't keep doing what I've been doing - I blew through what little savings I had in 3 weeks and it'll take years for me to repay what this run has cost me. I can't handle being impotent, and knowing that it's just a matter of time before I get arrested and lose my ability to earn a living (without details... one arrest and I'm unemployed and have no other skills to fall back on), the fear of leaving my child fatherless (and if there is anything beyond this life, what the consequences of doing that would be), of being bathed in sweat while I sleep -- when I can sleep, of bankrupting myself at the rate of $125+ a day, of the abscess on my arm and the others that will eventually come,. of my child finding out what I am and following in those footsteps, I don't know. I want not to want this crap in my life any more - I so desperately want that. On the other hand, I really really would like to split right now and shoot a speedball or 10. Arrrgghh.



Anyway -- I found the link to the You Tube documentary on Ibogaine that I watched yesterday -- most, most excellent and worth watching for any interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-Ap5lyYcI0&feature=PlayList&p=104391A9BA74EA29&index=0&playnext=1 (It's divided into several portions).


Thanks to all who posted the messages about sending me positive energies and white light. I really appreciate it. Please keep it up, especially about 8:30 onward (California time - 3 hours later than East Coast time).

I don't know what condition I'll be in tomorrow, but will post again if I'm able.

Dopamine_Cowboy said:

I checked out the wiki link posted above and it says Ibogaine is not illegal in Canada.

I'd definitely consider Ibogaine therapy if it's available/affordable here.



edit:

A quick web search revealed there is an Ibogaine treatment facility 1.5 hours from where I live.

http://www.ibogatherapyhouse.net/cms/

All I need now is an extra five grand or so. lol

Click to expand...

Yup, program in Vancouver.

Great documentary.

I've been curious about ibogaine for many years. Good luck and keep us posted whenever you can.

whooooa this is gonna be cool.

good vibes are coming your way man.

change is a gift given to those who seek it.

stay the course!

So excited for this, I've been reading a lot about it lately :]

Best of luck to you!

I watched that documentary yesterday after checking into your thread. Pretty damned interesting.

Lots more positive energy coming your way. I hope it works out for you. Check in when you can.

Glad it's going well so far man, and so awesome they have wifi access there. Obviously keep updating us with your progress.

ONE LOVE

Good luck to you, PLEASE keep us filled in. I've always been fascinated by Ibogaine and everything it has to offer. I'm sure all of bluelight would love to hear your story.

Hope everything goes well

I don´t pray that much, but here´s one for you.
Seriously I think what you´re doing is awesome.
Stay strong.

Good luck and consider white light sent from California just as requested! I hope you receive the message you are seeking. Lovely full moon last night and everything!

I would like to experience ibogaine once in my lifetime. I can't wait to hear all about your experience, the place sounds wonderful... I can't imagine the thrills in Tijuana being the right kind for recovery.