What do You do when you're kickin?

I'm coming off a 6month dope binge. I was forced financially and because my personal relationships around me were deteriorating. Not to mention a couple run-ins with the west side police (Chicago). Anyway, I went to a bupe Dr. and got a small script and have started a quick taper, starting at 8mg down to 1mg over a planned 1-2 week period. Today is day 3. I have slept a total of 3 hours and get hot flashes from time to time, but today I got a small appetite back.

As I can't sleep, I've been fixated on watching you tube videos non-stop for about 24hours now. Mostly about Chicago gangs. I am not in a gang and don't want to be, but for some reason watching the videos allows me to go to the hood. I am going nuts not being able to sleep and can't think of anything else to do.

What do you guys do in the early days of detox?

I usually just lay around in bed, play video games, post on here, try to sleep and take a lot of showers.

anything but use, besides seriously tapering.

remind myself to remember how shitty i feel atm and how i dont want to go 'here' again.

realize the pain ive caused myself and others.

me personally, smoke lots of the best weed i can find.

movies.

fill myself with vitamins and herbal supplements; bee pollen, green blends/green blue algae, eat lots of nuts, yogurt, the vile kombucha tea, lots of water.

sex

stay in bed if possible, but allow your self some time to walk around some and get some fresh air to avoid feeling extra fatigue from not being active.

ive heard the shock of a cold shower can be very relieving.

Well like ive told others on this board, getting sober is very easy, staying sober is the hard part.

What I mean by this satement is that Ive found from my own experience, and others as well can probibly relate, that the quick detox, leads to quick relapse.

Unless:

You sustitute your addiction with something in its place. Dont think your just gonna take sub. for 3 or 4 day then after all the dope is out of your system your just gonna stay sober. You have to create a plan and stick to the plan. Weather it be NA or AA, Or alcoholics for Christ, or some sort of a prevenative plan.

I congradulate you for taking the fist step toward sobriety, now Its time to make a plan and stick to it.

Im here if you need anything

Sean

Seanmi said:

Well like ive told others on this board, getting sober is very easy, staying sober is the hard part.

What I mean by this satement is that Ive found from my own experience, and others as well can probibly relate, that the quick detox, leads to quick relapse.

Unless:

You sustitute your addiction with something in its place. Dont think your just gonna take sub. for 3 or 4 day then after all the dope is out of your system your just gonna stay sober. You have to create a plan and stick to the plan. Weather it be NA or AA, Or alcoholics for Christ, or some sort of a prevenative plan.

I congradulate you for taking the fist step toward sobriety, now Its time to make a plan and stick to it.

Im here if you need anything

Sean

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cool...and i agree with the quick taper quick relapse theory.

a little background on me is that i was a crackhead for about 10 years, went to NA for 3yrs then chipped.. i developed a severe case of a certain kind of arthritis (psoriatic) that began eating the cartilage in my joints. i was put on heavy morphine and hydro, which i have been on for 2 years. i lost my job and insurance about 6 months ago and had no way of getting any more scripts and started copping blows to supplement the morphine. i just want to get over the hump of WD's and get back to work. NA wasn't for me. in my area it was a hangout for people that were taking a vacation from drugs as their lives were too screwed up. fine, that was why i went into it too, but i never got anything of lasting substance even after chairing a meeting for over a year in naperville.

i was caught way off gaurd by the dependency of dope and want to use this as a learning experience not to get caught up in being 'animated' by opiates ever again. i know there is no successful way to use for any length of time, but i hate the word 'never' and saying that word in conjunction with 'use' just doesnt work for me. this almost presumes failure and relapse (fail to plan, plan to fail), but i just want to get my head straight and out of the cycle and see where I land before I make a committment. dangerous, i know... i am not trying to sound/act like I know it all, just being honest about what's going on in my head... honesty is part of the first step (per my little book...) guess something did stick..

You could seek out some sober friends, focus on rebuilding the relationships you said were deteriorating, and get back some hobbies. There must be some things you enjoyed doing before you got addicted, try to remember these things and get back into them. Or start doing something new that you've always wanted to try. You're going to need something to occupy your time after you finish detoxing, you could work a lot but you need something fun and that will relieve your stress that isn't dope! Maybe some pot or just a little alcohol if you can use those in relative moderation. Or maybe you could pick up a sport, start exercising, etc.

Some of the religious things aren't for everyone, and IMO I don't wanna be around other ex-users per se after I get clean or talk about my past use all the time that just makes me wanna get back into it so NA/AA/and whatever "Alcoholic's for christ" is (never heard of that one before but I can imagine I think what they're all about) aren't for me.

I would be particularly emotional the days I would be sick. Sometimes I'd purposely watch things that would be tragic, like every other Montel Williams. I would cry.

I looked at withdrawal as a cleansing... maybe even a spiritual purging. I wanted to feel it 100% to remind myself of the consequences of my reckless. Of course that didn't work and I continued to use.

Ya i turn into a emotional wreck when in acute withdrawal too. It feels pathetic sometimes cause i'll start crying over anything.

As for what i do when kicking i eat as many benzos as i can, chug liquid lopermide and eat the tablets, occasionally go outside to buy OTC codeine to CWE, listen to music, watch movies, watch music vids on youtube, go on BL and occasionally remind myself that i am a stupid twat to have run out again.

i am in same boat you are, i think the bored part of not using is the worst, i am so used to seeing the world through colored glasses now its seems so weird to be not high, i am basically playing cards on the pc and watching movies, trying to eat, and get showers, i feel weak so i cant do much physically but i know how you feel we just have to hang in there it will get better ashla

That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm stuck in Oklahoma City, where there is NO fun scene at all. It's why I turned to drugs in the first place- out of boredom. It seems like in Chicago, there'd be more stuff to do to take your mind off of it though. I've always believed/been told that boredom is one of the first steps on the road to relapse, so imo, I'd try to find a hobby or something. Anything to keep your mind from thinking about using.

On another note - Can you not find a Bupe maintanance doc? I'm on one and it's working pretty well for me. I'm asking because I have a friend who went to a Bupe doc who tried rapid detox (one month), and it worked - until the script ran out. Then he just went back to using. I'm not saying you will, I just haven't heard many success stories from rapid detox - even with Bupe. You say a six month binge, but how long have you been using total. If your six month binge is the only binge you've ever had, you might be okay, but if you're a long term user, it doesn't seem rapid detox would be truly benificial in the long run...

a100unitSHOT said:

That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm stuck in Oklahoma City, where there is NO fun scene at all. It's why I turned to drugs in the first place- out of boredom. It seems like in Chicago, there'd be more stuff to do to take your mind off of it though. I've always believed/been told that boredom is one of the first steps on the road to relapse, so imo, I'd try to find a hobby or something. Anything to keep your mind from thinking about using.

On another note - Can you not find a Bupe maintanance doc? I'm on one and it's working pretty well for me. I'm asking because I have a friend who went to a Bupe doc who tried rapid detox (one month), and it worked - until the script ran out. Then he just went back to using. I'm not saying you will, I just haven't heard many success stories from rapid detox - even with Bupe. You say a six month binge, but how long have you been using total. If your six month binge is the only binge you've ever had, you might be okay, but if you're a long term user, it doesn't seem rapid detox would be truly benificial in the long run...

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chitown is definately full of stuff to do, i just don't want to do anything. i feel like a shell of a person, so i have just been sitting around, not sleeping and watching you tube.. the doc i am seeing now is a maintenance doc. i just got really creeped out by her. i got the impression i was just a $$ sign and she saw another fresh fish walk through the door..looking to milk me with weekly 'counseling' sessions and script renewals. i walked outta there and knew i was not coming back...to her anywayz. i went home and found a rapid taper regime here on BL and decided to stick it out. i've always been addicted to something, but this is the first time on blowz..first time on an opiate withdrawal.. it's funny, i havent been a daily weed smoker for years, but i found a little stash in an old pill bottle yesterday and today is 4/20....could solve some of my boredom..

wow lol can totally relate to that, even though i could do things i didnt want to, but i will say something i took a trip to the netherlands a mth ago and i had to kick my xanax in half cuz i dont get scripted them and could only get so many, and it was so easy to do it there, i guess my mind was so occupied with being in another country and seeing my bf, but as soon as i got back it was back to same old crap, i am glad though of that since i was able to come pretty much all the way clean over there from the xanax, but i now am alone here and i could do alot of things but just dont want to, i have no desire to get of my lazy ass and do something, and i know that would make me feel a hundred times better, i have to force myself to get a shower everyday, but today i actually took three bathes cuz they relaxed me so much, i know if i would just get out i would feel better but i feel apathetic to life, i remember so many times in my life when i was high saying oh i am gonna do this and do that go here and i never would and especially wouldnt straight, but i know everyday i wake up in the morning it is gonna get better goodluck

Yeah, getting clean and staying clean are completely two different things. Getting clean was easy for me, staying clean has been an entirely different story.

I have definately been struggling, but I haven't relapsed. I've come pretty damn close though.

I have been sober a little over 4 months. When I decided to get sober the first time,I left my apartment(knew i was never going to get sober there by myself)and came back to my parents house to detox. It was hell, i had such a huge habit before I came home that my detox was so bad I was rushed to an emergency room by ambulance and given Ativan and a fentenayl patch.I was bed ridden for nearly two weeks.My kick was a NIGHTMARE.I was back to using 3 weeks later, had a little over 2 month run,and then got into trouble with the law.

So here I am 4 months later, on suboxone, 1 years probation,6 month license suspension(like it matters, I no longer have a car)and must report to my probation officer once a month and am subject to random drug testing. Fun fun8)

I've been stuck at home because of lack of transportant/friends to rescue me. You REALLY find out who your real friends are when you clean your act up.It's depressing. You feel so alone,isolated,and misunderstood. I can't find a job to save my life, so basically I spend everyday sitting alone in my room,on my laptop,watching dvds from the library,and then going to my weekly suboxone support group meetings my bupe doctor has(and he likes to embarass and criticize me in front of everybody in group,so he is less than helpful )

I am SO BORED I'M LOSING MY MIND. And when you lose your mind, you lose your focus and everything you have worked so hard for in sobriety, and before you know it your plotting and scheming to go score. I found myself doing that last week, until my friends on bluelight were able to talk some sense into me. And for that, I thank them!

Stay strong man. You can do this!:D

kmac70 said:

i know there is no successful way to use for any length of time, but i hate the word 'never' and saying that word in conjunction with 'use' just doesnt work for me. this almost presumes failure and relapse (fail to plan, plan to fail), but i just want to get my head straight and out of the cycle and see where I land before I make a committment. dangerous, i know... i am not trying to sound/act like I know it all, just being honest about what's going on in my head... honesty is part of the first step (per my little book...) guess something did stick..

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I feel like this too. Sometimes I feel like when I focus on never using, it makes me so depressed and negative about the future that it's detrimental - all these days of soberness just seem to stretch before me unbearably! So yesterday I decided on a new plan, and that's that every night before I go to bed I'm going to make a plan just for the next day, nothing more than that...I feel like it will make it more managable.

And as for what I do when I'm kicking, I sleep and eat because it's methamphetamine, haha...

Miss Hollywood said:

Yeah, getting clean and staying clean are completely two different things. Getting clean was easy for me, staying clean has been an entirely different story.

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That is so true. I can't stay completely clean of opiates because i need them for the chronic pain i have. But for a month or so last year when i was taking opiates on a as needed basis i was really messed up due to not being on opiates all the time. I felt more bored then i ever have in my life, i was really moody and depressed, time felt like it was stopped and the days just seemed to last forever and i started drinking again which i hadent done in years.

I only used alcohol then because it was something to kill the boredom and every time i do come off opiates the cravings for alcohol come back with a vengence. Also i can usually have a beer or 2 when im on morphine or another opiate without feeling the need for more but when im off opiates i'll drink until there is nothing left or until i am completely gone.

My mind felt so scattered to and all i could do was go on the net or watch TV because i couldnt concentrate long enough to read a damn book. I was so lethargic i could not exercise either.

So ya the battle really starts once the sickness is over.

panic in paradise said:

ive heard the shock of a cold shower can be very relieving.

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I came off a long and insane heroin phase about 13 years ago. My strangely wise Indonesian (ex) father in law took care of me and nursed me back to some semblance of health. One of the things he did was put a bunch of ice in a bucket of water and then slowly pour it over me in while I stood in the shower. You can only imagine how painful this was but, strangely, I always felt much better afterwards.

lay in bed alot. pretty much all day...
watch youtube for hours as well. haha. i watch alot of documentaries.
smoke weed.
luckily, i have suboxone too :]
smoke alot of cigarettes.
showers/baths.
talk to my best friend.
light incense or a candle, turn on music, and just chill in my room.

I try to keep adderall and benzos on hand when I'm transitioning from dope back to subs.. for energy to function and peace of mind.

I watch A LOT of TV because that is all I can seem to do when sick and insomniac. Lots of orgasms, lots of showers, Exercising, reading, even talking is too much to bare.