^^ Tried that I had a break for about 10 months and shit was worse then anything tried pretty much all different types of meds but they just mask it and when I get off them things were worse then brfore...
My advice is similar to filenet's. You have to accept there are going to be rough times ahead, and plan accordingly (an important personal management skill). You also need to once again find pleasure and contentment with natural highs, so you need to do new or exciting things. Not only does this sort of thing help keep depression at bay, but it fortifies your well being by helping restore your natural responses. Getting away to somewhere where you have no access to meds and illicits is good.
It's important to remember 2 things; you're not the only one who has to go through this stuff, and as time goes on things
do get better. If you've bashed it hard for years, it might take years to come completely right. But that time should be seen a challange, something you can set your mind to and acheive. Nothing is as personally rewarding than to acheive what you set out to do. So pick some goals, baby steps at first. Start a Magic Diary where you keep a record of your set and acheived goals, your personal account of your progress and any bumps as they occur. As you probably already realise from posting here, writing can be very therapeutic. Show it to no-one. I can help you with a suggested layout if you're interested.
Relapse can happen any time though, and it's important not to get too depressed when this happens. How? you might say. Swimming in the ocean, long walks, laughing hard at funny shit, feeling the heart felt smile of someone close, visiting an old friend.... any of these things will do it providing you
let it happen. None of those emotional responses require chemicals, but as I said, you have to stop to smell the roses. Look for the bright things, the value in things non drug related, and above all, discard those things/people that drag you down. You can always return to them down the track - if you want to that is...
If you feel you need some assistance, there's a Vipassana retreat up this way that has produced fabulous results. I'm not sure what their current policy on recent use of drugs, but a phone call should tell you. I've seen some very messed up people do this 10 day course and come out completely revived, restored and replenished and without exception, non have relasped. It's not easy though. Arguably one of the hardest parts being that you're not allowed to talk to, or even look at others for the duration of the course. Personally, I'm not into Buddhism or any belief system for that matter, but I certainly recognise the value of this program and the meditation techniques they teach.
http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schrasmi.htm
Intense shit IMO.
