Recently there has been some discussion about how to precur drugs from the local emergency room.. yeah, you can break a leg or dump boiling brake fluid on you, but thats no fun... well, an old way we used to get shit was to fake passing a kidney stone - for a complete write up on this you can check out this thread -
Ok, so I am now dating this bad ass girlie who is just the most amazing chick .. well, I had pleasured her like 30 or 40 times, and she was dry from having so many orgasams.. so we are both bored - hey, why not try something I have not tried in a long time - lets hit the ER ..
I go over the story with her, even have her practice pricking her finger .. she is a pro, I am in love with her... so it's about 3:20am (technically Sunday morning) .. I know this isn't a good time, but hey, we both get a nice benzo buzz going so it wont be that bad.. she dresses like a girl who has been up all night in pain, I dress conservative - the story is simple - I am her husband - the driver .. yeah, we both look young, but in Florida it's common for people to get married at like 16 ..
We get to the hospital at about 4am and the wait wasn't that bad.. we quickly got to the reception, and I did something I have never done before - I used my own insurance! Nowthat I have a good job, I have decent insurance.. so I pay the $45 co-pay and thats that...
We waited for about 35 minutes and the triage nurse calls us over.. [my girl] walks, bent over in pain, and sounding like she is ALMOST crying, she tells the story - a minor bump - it's suspected that it is a urinary track infection - not good... still, I have faith, I have done this before.. I continue to comfort her while the nurse takes her vitals - we are told to go back to the waiting room where we sit for another 20 minutes...
Finally a nurse comes and gets us - at first I am asked to stay behind, but [my girl] begs that I am allowed to be there with her, as (she said) "hospitals make me kind of nervous" .. together we are walked back to a curtined off area and told a doctor will be in shortly... "shortly" turned into about 45 minutes, but finally a doctor comes in - a young guy, probably only in practice for a few years .. he asks some questions, and does the "does this hurt?" groping - I had not prepared her for this, but she was like a pro .. I am asked to leave, but [my girl] insists I stay.. the doctor says that he would rather I leave, and [my girl] jumps in with "he is my god damn husband, I think it's alright if he stays" .. so the typical suspect UTI questions start - stuff about sex and if I would cum inside her - she said we had never done such a thing, because "a condom might smell bad, but it's a lot better then baby shit" - rock on! She is my soul mate!
I am beginning to think that this might take a turn for the worst, but after almost 2 hours there comes a ray of sunshine - "do you think you could give a little urine?" .. CHA-CHING!
I am probably more nervous than she is.. she makes her way to the bathroom, bent over in pain, and the doctor leaves .. I rummage through the drawers in the room and she returns - no urine in hand, what? The nurse had already taken it ... finally, a little speed... we both wait nervously...
In about an hour, with the sun now rising, the doctor returns with the results - "well, there is a number of things it could be, but I think we can rule out most of the bad stuff, it would look like you're just passing some kidney stones, but we need to follow up on this" .. [my girl] jumps back in with her line about how she eats right and so on... the doctors gives a brief explanation of what stones are and why you get them, yadda, yadda, yadda.. now the moment of truth... "doctor, how long does this last? This pain is horrible, as though someone is slowly twisting a knife around inside me, I feel like I am going to pass out" .. again the young doc goes into a long and drawn out explanation about how some people suffer from worse pain then others - "Will you be driving?" he asks me .. "of course" I respond .. he says he will be back with "a little something for the pain" ..
5 minutes later - as I had hoped, a shot of Demerol .. "what will I do about work? I can't work if it's going to hurt so bad" (her speech a little slowing) ..
What did we get? 30 Lortab (5mg), some bullshit Bicillin .. she asked how good the "pain pills" would work, seeing as how she is "on her feet all day" ... his response - "well, take one pill every three hours, if you need to, you can take a second pill" .. then she went in for the kill - "I won't be able to get to my doctor until at LEAST thursday, will the pain be gone by then?" .. with that the script was given one refill ...
We went to the 24-hour pharmacy, filled the Lortab script, and went home to cuddle up with each other, floating on cloud 9 ..
She was a pro - and while we had to spend a good 3 hours there, it was worth it!
So I hope this inspires you to all to give it a shot - as usual, Demerol for the ride home, and some hydrocodone .. a good time was had by all ..
Maybe something to consider before you cut off yer arm with a bandsaw!
[ 03 January 2002: Message edited by: PhreeX ]
Ok, so I am now dating this bad ass girlie who is just the most amazing chick .. well, I had pleasured her like 30 or 40 times, and she was dry from having so many orgasams.. so we are both bored - hey, why not try something I have not tried in a long time - lets hit the ER ..
I go over the story with her, even have her practice pricking her finger .. she is a pro, I am in love with her... so it's about 3:20am (technically Sunday morning) .. I know this isn't a good time, but hey, we both get a nice benzo buzz going so it wont be that bad.. she dresses like a girl who has been up all night in pain, I dress conservative - the story is simple - I am her husband - the driver .. yeah, we both look young, but in Florida it's common for people to get married at like 16 ..
We get to the hospital at about 4am and the wait wasn't that bad.. we quickly got to the reception, and I did something I have never done before - I used my own insurance! Nowthat I have a good job, I have decent insurance.. so I pay the $45 co-pay and thats that...
We waited for about 35 minutes and the triage nurse calls us over.. [my girl] walks, bent over in pain, and sounding like she is ALMOST crying, she tells the story - a minor bump - it's suspected that it is a urinary track infection - not good... still, I have faith, I have done this before.. I continue to comfort her while the nurse takes her vitals - we are told to go back to the waiting room where we sit for another 20 minutes...
Finally a nurse comes and gets us - at first I am asked to stay behind, but [my girl] begs that I am allowed to be there with her, as (she said) "hospitals make me kind of nervous" .. together we are walked back to a curtined off area and told a doctor will be in shortly... "shortly" turned into about 45 minutes, but finally a doctor comes in - a young guy, probably only in practice for a few years .. he asks some questions, and does the "does this hurt?" groping - I had not prepared her for this, but she was like a pro .. I am asked to leave, but [my girl] insists I stay.. the doctor says that he would rather I leave, and [my girl] jumps in with "he is my god damn husband, I think it's alright if he stays" .. so the typical suspect UTI questions start - stuff about sex and if I would cum inside her - she said we had never done such a thing, because "a condom might smell bad, but it's a lot better then baby shit" - rock on! She is my soul mate!
I am beginning to think that this might take a turn for the worst, but after almost 2 hours there comes a ray of sunshine - "do you think you could give a little urine?" .. CHA-CHING!
I am probably more nervous than she is.. she makes her way to the bathroom, bent over in pain, and the doctor leaves .. I rummage through the drawers in the room and she returns - no urine in hand, what? The nurse had already taken it ... finally, a little speed... we both wait nervously...
In about an hour, with the sun now rising, the doctor returns with the results - "well, there is a number of things it could be, but I think we can rule out most of the bad stuff, it would look like you're just passing some kidney stones, but we need to follow up on this" .. [my girl] jumps back in with her line about how she eats right and so on... the doctors gives a brief explanation of what stones are and why you get them, yadda, yadda, yadda.. now the moment of truth... "doctor, how long does this last? This pain is horrible, as though someone is slowly twisting a knife around inside me, I feel like I am going to pass out" .. again the young doc goes into a long and drawn out explanation about how some people suffer from worse pain then others - "Will you be driving?" he asks me .. "of course" I respond .. he says he will be back with "a little something for the pain" ..
5 minutes later - as I had hoped, a shot of Demerol .. "what will I do about work? I can't work if it's going to hurt so bad" (her speech a little slowing) ..
What did we get? 30 Lortab (5mg), some bullshit Bicillin .. she asked how good the "pain pills" would work, seeing as how she is "on her feet all day" ... his response - "well, take one pill every three hours, if you need to, you can take a second pill" .. then she went in for the kill - "I won't be able to get to my doctor until at LEAST thursday, will the pain be gone by then?" .. with that the script was given one refill ...
We went to the 24-hour pharmacy, filled the Lortab script, and went home to cuddle up with each other, floating on cloud 9 ..
She was a pro - and while we had to spend a good 3 hours there, it was worth it!
So I hope this inspires you to all to give it a shot - as usual, Demerol for the ride home, and some hydrocodone .. a good time was had by all ..
Maybe something to consider before you cut off yer arm with a bandsaw!
[ 03 January 2002: Message edited by: PhreeX ]
