NeverLose
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2005
- Messages
- 1,189
Ok so here’s my story, it’s Saturday night 1st March, 2008. I’ve had a really shitty day at work, basically doing retail but doing ten people’s job because everyone has resigned or phoned in sick today.
I get home, crack open a beer, or six, Stella’s so 5.2% alcohol nonetheless. Polish that off, crack open and complete a bottle of red wine. Hmmm, I’m drunk but that edge is still there, so I take 2mg of xanax (first time I’ve touched this garbage in 60 days). Anyway I have a baby due in 2 weeks, (1 week to go at time of writing this) and I haven’t fucked around with heroin in year and haven’t had a habit in over 5 years. Anyway since the red wine and xanax combo has totally lowered my inhibitions some crazy part of my subconscious seems to think it would be a great idea to get some heroin.
I start ringing old dealers numbers in my phone 9/10 are switched off or disconnected, till the tenth call I finally get through. He tells me the spot, it’s 60kms away but I have a sober driver to take me. Off I go.
I get there, busting for a drunken piss and the guy is already yelling my name calling me over while I’m pissing, I am escorted to an empty apartment with nothing but a junkie chick I haven’t seen in years and a very basic TV set in it. I’m told repeatedly to keep my voice down as I drunkenly ask if it’s white and he keeps telling me it’s brown. I never really liked brown heroin it’s always made me sick as hell and it didn’t feel as clean as the white to me. But apparently since I’ve been out of the loop Australia is flooded with cheap brown afgan heroin. Anyway I take the deal, argue about why I can’t hit up there, bum a syringe and am driven the 60kms back home.
I get back home, by now my partner is obviously not too happy about all this and goes to bed and I boil the kettle, remembering brown doesn’t dissolve so easy in cold water, I add 70 units to a ¼ gram and insanely decide to have it all (remember I haven’t used in a year), assuming brown = weaker like in the old days. All I remember after that is one huge warm rush.
Then I wake up in a hospital, busting for a piss but I can’t due to the opiate constipation. I see my dad, a female nurse and a male nurse. They tell me I ODed on opiods, I argue that I haven’t used opiods in 6 years (and believe it at the time) although I definitely feel the xanax lurking still. They keep telling me to stop swearing or I will be thrown out of the hospital, so I swear a lot hoping to get thrown out. My dad eventually talks them in to letting me go home escorted by him and they agree.
I get home speak to my partner who found me on the kitchen floor, blue all over and tried to give CPR to no avail, so called an ambulance, also calling my dad in case it was the last time he ever saw me. I look at my arm and it has bruises all up it, really badly, apparently they couldn’t find a vein for the narcan, looks like they had 20 goes.
Anyway as some posters already implied, I was incredibly hesitant to post this because I’m pretty much clean these days and it makes me look like a junkie, plus with a baby due this is insanely irresponsible. The reason I’ve decided to post anyway is in the hope it can help someone else from a similar fate. My insides still really hurt and of course I feel like a total idiot, so I hope someone other than me gets to learn something positive from this post.
Oh yeah and during the week I noticed this article on lateline. http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2007/s2182672.htm Windows media video on right, note to all junkies this stuff isn’t like the old china white kinda heroin, IMO it’s easier to OD on. I’ve had it in the past and it’s just made me sick, never OD but yeah, use your discretion I guess.
I get home, crack open a beer, or six, Stella’s so 5.2% alcohol nonetheless. Polish that off, crack open and complete a bottle of red wine. Hmmm, I’m drunk but that edge is still there, so I take 2mg of xanax (first time I’ve touched this garbage in 60 days). Anyway I have a baby due in 2 weeks, (1 week to go at time of writing this) and I haven’t fucked around with heroin in year and haven’t had a habit in over 5 years. Anyway since the red wine and xanax combo has totally lowered my inhibitions some crazy part of my subconscious seems to think it would be a great idea to get some heroin.
I start ringing old dealers numbers in my phone 9/10 are switched off or disconnected, till the tenth call I finally get through. He tells me the spot, it’s 60kms away but I have a sober driver to take me. Off I go.
I get there, busting for a drunken piss and the guy is already yelling my name calling me over while I’m pissing, I am escorted to an empty apartment with nothing but a junkie chick I haven’t seen in years and a very basic TV set in it. I’m told repeatedly to keep my voice down as I drunkenly ask if it’s white and he keeps telling me it’s brown. I never really liked brown heroin it’s always made me sick as hell and it didn’t feel as clean as the white to me. But apparently since I’ve been out of the loop Australia is flooded with cheap brown afgan heroin. Anyway I take the deal, argue about why I can’t hit up there, bum a syringe and am driven the 60kms back home.
I get back home, by now my partner is obviously not too happy about all this and goes to bed and I boil the kettle, remembering brown doesn’t dissolve so easy in cold water, I add 70 units to a ¼ gram and insanely decide to have it all (remember I haven’t used in a year), assuming brown = weaker like in the old days. All I remember after that is one huge warm rush.
Then I wake up in a hospital, busting for a piss but I can’t due to the opiate constipation. I see my dad, a female nurse and a male nurse. They tell me I ODed on opiods, I argue that I haven’t used opiods in 6 years (and believe it at the time) although I definitely feel the xanax lurking still. They keep telling me to stop swearing or I will be thrown out of the hospital, so I swear a lot hoping to get thrown out. My dad eventually talks them in to letting me go home escorted by him and they agree.
I get home speak to my partner who found me on the kitchen floor, blue all over and tried to give CPR to no avail, so called an ambulance, also calling my dad in case it was the last time he ever saw me. I look at my arm and it has bruises all up it, really badly, apparently they couldn’t find a vein for the narcan, looks like they had 20 goes.
Anyway as some posters already implied, I was incredibly hesitant to post this because I’m pretty much clean these days and it makes me look like a junkie, plus with a baby due this is insanely irresponsible. The reason I’ve decided to post anyway is in the hope it can help someone else from a similar fate. My insides still really hurt and of course I feel like a total idiot, so I hope someone other than me gets to learn something positive from this post.
Oh yeah and during the week I noticed this article on lateline. http://www.abc.net.au/lateline/content/2007/s2182672.htm Windows media video on right, note to all junkies this stuff isn’t like the old china white kinda heroin, IMO it’s easier to OD on. I’ve had it in the past and it’s just made me sick, never OD but yeah, use your discretion I guess.
