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Have you ever thought about stopping

T

Tresca

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Joined
Feb 1, 2007
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64
The more I read about the effects of drugs on the brain the less I wanna take them these days. I started taking E over 20 years ago but havent taken regularly for about 14 years, I had a complete break of about 5 years and I only do about 3 times a year now. Back in the day I did it 3-4 times a week. Each time I do it now, I just feel after that its so not worth it. Last time I did it, I was very emotional after and was crying alot about nothing all the next day. It does depend on the pill though. There have been times where Ive had no comedown at all.
I have suffered from bouts of depression over the years but I dont know whether I was already depressed before I started. I know I wasnt happy. Im sure E hasnt helped anyway.
I was reading about this theory of serotonin reserves in the brain and as we get older and they deplete that people who have used drugs may suffer a lot of probs because their reserves may run dry, its quite scary to think about.
As I get older I just dont get out of it what I used to. I mean I go out and have fun and dance but it goes so quick and its all a blur and it always leaves me feeling dissatisfied and wanting more and so I almost hang out for the next time. It feels very empty. Its also so expensive to do that once you pay for drugs, drinks, entry, cabs etc. I can quite easily spend $300 on 1 night.
I wish I could be that person that I am when Im on E. Im social and chatty and dance amazingly and feel like I can do anything but its all so delusional cause when Im not high Im a shy reclusive slightly anti social person who could not be bothered going out dancing cause it requires too much energy.
I do have many other interests and Im going to travel soon so I hope to turn my mind to other things however I feel sometimes that everything is so mundane in comparison to getting high. I dont like the thought of never being able to take E again and that worries me.
Anyway just a few thoughts.
 
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i have stopped a few times
never for good, never intended on quitting permanently

(except for weed)
i stopped smoking weed cos i look down on it as being dirty, and i dont enjoy the feelings it gives me, it was more to do with the fact my family used to deal with it, and i'd see all the lowlifes trying to get a gram on tick, then never paying back.
just look upon it as a dole bludging scum drug.

but yeah... decided i was never having weed again over a year ago. and stuck to it. still clean from that shit.

theres been a couple of times ive stopped using certain drugs just to drop my tolerance.

stopped using pills from early oct, to new years eve because it got to the point where i was eating between 3 and 6 in a night just to hit a decent peak.
been using pills for 6 years now, i've had a few breaks of anywhere between a month and 6 months.

i stopped using speed for a very long time aswell..
i was hooked on the shit for 2 years, every day use from age 15 to age 17... then i decided one day i was giving it up, didnt use again til i was 19.
now ill have it maybe once or twice every couple of months (anywhere between half a gram to 1.5 grams on a speed binge) usually get pretty pure stuff too.. so no im not talking about 15% street speed shit. lol

but alcohols the one drug id like to stop altogether.
it costs too much to get drunk, and i dont really enjoy being any more fucked than just tipsy. i havent had a drink since boxing day. and really just have no interest in it anymore.

maybe a drink or 2 with dinner. but i dont like being pissed.
it doesnt react well with me, too much of a control freak i guess.

even tho lsd is my drug of choice, at least im still in control on that stuff
 
Yeah I stopped dope 11 years ago, dont miss it at all really. Was a pothead from age 14-28, unbelievable how many years I threw away on that shit. Its also a very different feeling, not so psychologically addictive but still hard to give up if youre not ready. Once I wanted to do it, it was a breeze. Alcohol I like socially , I love wine, I dont think ill ever give that up as I dont use it to get smashed, I just enjoy the flavour and feeling relaxed from a couple of glasses. However I am vigilant about it as my dad is a total alco.
 
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I stopped taking weed when I got into G, after G, it just didn't match up, and always felt that it was anti-social, too easy to sit in a corner, watching, and doubt everything I was saying, even as the words were coming out my mouth...I don't do G any more, as I got busted with it, and feel that if I do take it again, I don't know if I will be able to stop, and its a bitch of a habit to kick...I am wary round amphetamines, as when I obtain some , I will not sleep till they are all gone...pills, well if I take them for a couple of days, they lose their shine, which is probly just as well, or I would take them till they be gone as well...alcohol, well I use it daily, cos its legal, relatively cheap...but a dirty drug, IMHO. Tobacco, well I use that daily also, but wish I didn't. Opiates, I have dabbled with, but don't seem to do much for me, so I don't bother (thank goodness). LSD, well thats a "holiday" for me, something to be done every now and again, they become old hat before very long.... but that's just me. 8)
 
I have stopped, slowing but surely. Once you reach that stage where the downsides BY FAR outweight the upsides you will stop. Perhaps not permanently, never say never, however you will stop.
I find that having things in my life which keep busy has helped a lot.
Ecstasy can me so much more than a drug, it can become a lifestyle and yeh it can be very hard to distance yourself from it all but I think we all reach a stage in our life where we say enough is enough.
 
stef^on^e said:
I have stopped, slowing but surely. Once you reach that stage where the downsides BY FAR outweight the upsides you will stop. Perhaps not permanently, never say never, however you will stop.
I find that having things in my life which keep busy has helped a lot.
Ecstasy can me so much more than a drug, it can become a lifestyle and yeh it can be very hard to distance yourself from it all but I think we all reach a stage in our life where we say enough is enough.
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youre right about the lifestyle, its very hard to give up house music which is so much a part of it. Also the whole glamour thing that goes with clubbing etc. I only have to look at a cover of Ministry of sound chill sessions and it makes me want E. Theyre all triggers.
 
I think about stopping. Every single day. Following through and doing it is something else entirely. I'm sick of feeling broke. Sick of feeling sick when i do and i'm sick of it ruining ever relationship i've ever had. You'd think that would be enough. I've come to the conclusion that i'm just a selfish prick and just dont care about myself or the people that care about me. In saying that though, i'm not exactly in the best frame of mind at the moment, so take everything i've with a grain of salt. DrS.
 
I'm sort of like the OP. As in, I want the drugs to keep me social because without them I'm not what I would call anti-social but I certainly don't draw much attention to myself, especially around new people.

I have an extremely light drug habit anyway, so even if I did stop there wouldn't be much change in my life. E is so shit these days anyway.
 
Suity said:
I'm sort of like the OP. As in, I want the drugs to keep me social because without them I'm not what I would call anti-social but I certainly don't draw much attention to myself, especially around new people.

I have an extremely light drug habit anyway, so even if I did stop there wouldn't be much change in my life. E is so shit these days anyway.
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I dont know about E being shit. The quality def varies from pill to pill but after having taken them for over 20 years I can honestly say that they arent that much different.
Even 20 years ago you only occasionally got a really strong pure one. There was shit going round back then also. I think maybe its us that changes, and we just dont enjoy the experience as much as we used to because its so temporary, destructive, empty and pointless.
 
DoctorShop said:
I think about stopping. Every single day. Following through and doing it is something else entirely. I'm sick of feeling broke. Sick of feeling sick when i do and i'm sick of it ruining ever relationship i've ever had. You'd think that would be enough. I've come to the conclusion that i'm just a selfish prick and just dont care about myself or the people that care about me. In saying that though, i'm not exactly in the best frame of mind at the moment, so take everything i've with a grain of salt. DrS.
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I guess this is one of the problems with drugs, they tend to make us do selfish things.
I had to drop my entire peer group I grew up with because of the selfishness and dishonesty that drugs created amongst us. It was very difficult as I ended up with no friends but if I stayed with them Id probably be dead by now or close to it.
I think once you cut right back or if you cant do that then abstain and also get some real support you wont be so hard on yourself and your relationships will probably improve.:)
 
Tresca said:
I dont know about E being shit. The quality def varies from pill to pill but after having taken them for over 20 years I can honestly say that they arent that much different.
Even 20 years ago you only occasionally got a really strong pure one. There was shit going round back then also. I think maybe its us that changes, and we just dont enjoy the experience as much as we used to because its so temporary, destructive, empty and pointless.
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You think pills these days and 20 years ago are the same quality? I can't agree with that. I think it is about time you stopped if you are still in the mind set that pills of today are in any way similar to back then.

Todays pills are generally shit, yes ok some occasionally are decent, even what you might call 'awesome' but 'generally' they are very impure. take a look at pill reports, take a look a http://ecstasydata.org/ The amount of stuff added to pills these days that isnt mdma is astounding, if you want to believe differently that's up to you.

Back in the early 90's if you bought pills at a dance party they were usually top notch and lasted for over 3 hrs and you didnt suffer ill effects, now days you goto a dance party (or a dd) buy some and it's highly likely they will be shit, even if they test up fine. Get real.

Time to quit mate.
 
Im sorry to have offended your excellent knowledge of pill quality through the ages but I dont see how thats related to quitting nor would I quit anything on the advice of some stranger on a forum telling me to get real.
I did not say "the same quality" you have misquoted me. The pills I have had over the past two years have been very good and lasted for 2-4 hours.
Back in 88-92 yes it was more likely you would get good ones but I think people tend to romanticise the past and forget the bad. There was plenty of shit around back then, i remember getting tripstacy a few times unexpectedly aswell as duds.
 
^^ poledriver, tresca.. take it easy on each other! There are plenty of threads talking about the strenght of pills these days :\ And i would be one to say they have dropped in quality! Bring back the x scores and the geen batman or pink camels :)

Im still not sure even they would bring me out to party these days... Time to move on after 15/20 yrs i would say :)
 
no worries, sorry if misquoted and or took the thread off topic.

It is kinda related to quitting in the sense that pills are shit (to me) these days.

Everyone to their own (opinions) tho, it's all cool.
 
Tresca, some humble advice for you. Try and avoid the triggers such as ministry magazine covers, just try and avoid looking at them. Im guessing you live in a capital city, and I can garuantee (sp?) that there are plenty of alternatives to house clubs to go out and have fun. For me personally, Ive found having a nice meal out and a glass or two of wine can be quite fun. If I want a music and dance fix, there are hip hop, breaks or live music clubs I can go to where the majority of people arn't on drugs. Ive found that broadening my horizons with regard to music culture can help to focus on other things and take my mind off wanting e. Its great that you've set the goal to travel, this will help enormously. Hope this helps and good luck with what will be a bright future for you :)
 
Tresca said:
I do have many other interests and Im going to travel soon so I hope to turn my mind to other things however I feel sometimes that everything is so mundane in comparison to getting high. I dont like the thought of never being able to take E again and that worries me.
Anyway just a few thoughts.
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Travel will be really good for you, you will find a way to get High on Life, and not on a drug, most likely the worry of not taking 'E' any more will become such an insignificant thought that one day you will prob look back on it and "what was i thinking". That's what has happened for me...
I'm not slightly interested in taking drugs of any sort, anymore. I've had my share of substances and had my fun, I look forward to my future being married man now, building my house, starting a family etc. I don't see the point in taking them other then for a "kick", for me it's a wast of money, time and life.
 
i dont think about stopping until im on the drugs... i dont really do stimualnts, mdxx, or psychecelics as often as some... i try to space them as far apart as possible, but i do go hard when i do them.... and the come up and half the peak is pretty much "i need to get OVER THIS"....

as for alcohol, i want to stop but i cant now... im going thru minior benzo wd.. after months and months of abuse.. but its not as bad as G , its just taking its sweet ass time... i was told 3 months and ill be fine... i quit cold turkey. and the seizure part has finished, now its just stuttering, memory problems, extra energy, and eating problems (i cant eat until after ive drank alcohol, and i dont drink till about 4-6pm, when the stomach ands body starts asking for alcohol so i donty throw up bile and gag and feel fucked...).. then i pig out, have like a kings dinner and crash out.. wake up later in the night and try to sleep but end up just getting REM all night and well into the morning, then i get up for half an hour and cos of exxcessive alcohol abuse the night before i crash back out until about 11-1. really bad patterns at the moment.

i want to stop, i should goto detox.. i cant \get off downers.. im using anti histamines as well and i even seem to get addicted to them??? is that possible??
 
Hey Splatt, Hmm you need to listen to your body then research each symptoms. It sounds like you're in a pickle. I know what benzo w/d is like and it's fucking terrible. I'm just going to write some of my thoughts down now, some may make sense, some may not.

This is for anyone reading this thread but some bits are directed to you.

Change your diet.
Healthy! meals x 6 daily (very regular meals)
With WHOLEGRAINS!!
As much fresh food as possible as they contain MANY essential amino acids and sugars that we can't get from other sources. Unless you want to pay a shitload for extracts?

1 x mens multivitamin before and after bed
4 x omega3 1000mg before and after bed
4 x Ginkgo Boliba extract vitamins 2000/3000mg Eqv. Dry Leaf, Daily

That will help your memory and digestive system. All these things need to be kept in check and balance (im sure you already know this anyway).

You might also benefit from those little packs of Yakault probiotic milk things you see at supermarkets. You probably know what I'm talking about. They're not cheap but have a good benefit on your digestive system also.

Another thing I'll say is if you find you can't eat before you drink (and this is a VICIOUS cycle) then you may be suffering from low sodium and salt levels. Usually this occurs when people drink to an almost deadly level (ie. they black out and lose memory).

Why I say vicious is because everytime you drink alcohol it drains all this from your system unless it's replenished by food etc and even then your body sometimes can't keep up with that.
There's a medical term for it it's a very similar condition to when you throw up stomach acid and/or bile when you drink water during a bad hangover, you would of experienced that before yes?.

That's why in my personal opinion diet, supplements and lifestyle(exercise) all need to be planned and executed to a routine each day for you to beat whatever it is you want to beat.

Another big helper to giving up alcohol also for me anyway, is this. If you're a beer drinker primarily then cut down to light beer even if you drink the same amount. Then swap and change for a bit (it might cost a bit but you want to stop right???? ?) so buy some mixed bourbon or some mixed double vodka cans then get different brands of beer. Low, mid and maybe then have one heavy beer and 5 lows or something. I don't quite know how this works but I'd say it goes on taste and how you gain pleasure from certain tastes. Beer drinkers know theres nothing like the taste of that first ice cold beer of the day hey? So change it to bourbon and you will still get your alcohol hit but it wont be quite the same.

And remember, always tell yourself it IS okay to have THREE drinks of an evening or what I find better is the afternoon, it relaxes you for the evening then maybe have ONE more in the evening while watching tv or WITH DINNER, I stress WITH dinner. NOT BEFORE. EVER. That is what will fuck you up.

Dinner should make you want a drink after, NEVER should a drink make you want dinner. Food should always be wanted more than anything apart from Water and Sex. Those three things are what brings nearly all people back from addiction, as well as routine (ie. circadian rhythm) theres nothing worse than waking up at 2am and thinking fuck I wish I could take an E or have a shot of meth to get the day rolling. At least if you get up at 8am you can go to Mcdonalds and have something to eat or a local cafe to have breakfast or even just cook your own. Cooking can take up hours, it takes passion, preparation, rituals, knowledge of what goes with what and how to mix this with that and at the end you get to eat the tasty creation, much similar to drugs really. Food is the one that does it for me as it's always more available than Sex (I'm sure that's the case for most people too!! lol!!) but a combination of the two is generally preferred.

Then once you find it more under control you can start to CHOOSE what you want to do instead of your body telling you "I. Need. Alcohol..Now.".

That's when you can fall back into the same circle again, you need to then keep moderating your intake and stick to it.

I used to be an alcoholic and had the same problems with benzos (xanax, valium and temazepam) and this is how I cut down immensely to an actual acceptable dosage (ie. no recreational use) and my tolerance was bought down in the process.

With benzos I have used pot and alcohol to taper and I tapered slowly such as cutting off .25mg every three or so days (alprazolam) and having a few cones or a few beers instead and usually alternate between the two so as not to pickup another addiction. That's where you have to be smart and basically conscious of what you're doing.

If you want some benzos for a comedown then moderate them a week in advance and get on the uppers for a few days or whatever but this is so important I can't stress it enough you must stick to your routine of diet, supplements and exercise as well as showering throughly at LEAST once daily (this isnt for you splatt but maybe some others reading this, I think you shower but hey I could be wrong!!). Mix and match and change your drugs around so they dont contraindict each other basically. So don't go on an alcohol and benzo binge.

An example I'll give is when I smoke pot and drink I get extremely sick (yes im one of the unlucky ones). So if I want to quit pot I USE alcohol to aid that. And VICE-VERSA. Then I may use Benzos (medical doses) to quit alcohol. And remember these things take time and DETERMINATION!

Draw up a two column table. On one side write and number ALL the positives in the world for drinking or benzos then on the other side write and number ALL the negatives.

Now underneath each positive write the CONSEQUENCES of that positive effect. Write down your goals. Add something to it like "Drugs don't define who I am as a person." "There is always tommorow" "Moderation" things like that. Let your feelings flow and put it to paper then sign and date it. Keep it somewhere and look at it when you feel like it. Think how you felt when you wrote it. You might even want to write it while high.


I wish I could give you more advice but it takes time and everytime you think about having a drink have a drink of WATER. Or a NIBBLE to eat. Macadamia nuts are good I find and they're healthy. Or chocolate. Or chocolate coated nuts. Or some fruit. Or whartever you like, find a crutch that won't hurt you.

Don't tell yourself 'no im not having that pill. I have to stop' or some shit. Just accept that you want it badly and it's there and say okay I'll have it.

Look at it, think about it. Do not take it into your hand as that will cause you to ingest it without thinking on most occasions I've found.

So anyway just think 'yeah okay ill have it i just got to get a drink to take it with'
Then go get a drink and do something else just forget about whatever it is your body wants and do something else. Burn the excess energy you speak of by (yes), taking a walk, riding a bike, swimming, go driving? do housework, if you have a job then work your fucking ass off all day until you cant move. climb a mountain if there are some near you.

The reason for your Exhausting REM sleep as you probably are aware is because of drinking alcohol before you sleep, look it up. Or ask a Doctor about it.

Omega3 is an AMAZING thing. It has helped me with Benzos, Alcohol and Amphetamines. That indescribable feeling you get in your head and back of your neck and behind your eyes from the withdrawels are helped by Omega3 so, so much for me.

And you wake up feeling 'normal' hard to explain but it fills a void somewhere in the grey matter.

Also as you know Valerian is available also and plenty of other supplements...

I don't know anything about you really Splatt but I do think you already know all these things. Sometimes it takes someone to 'light the way' again; I dunno.

That's just some late night advice for you and anyone else reading this who might benefit!

But On topic:
To OP, yes I'm also concerned about what I read about drugs and their effects. What I hate most is you never know if its biased or if the poor rats they use to test these substances actually MIGHT react different to humans do. And half the time they are giving these rats almost lethal doses to get these effects.

I will NEVER quit taking substances or drugs. I'm a regular user who likes to keep usage in moderation and research everything as much as I can and then some more and then some more again.

Even little things like drinking orange juice instead of Gatorade when on E is something I like to pass on to people. All of these little things help with harm minimization.

In MY opinion that I'm still working on right now, I believe that if you moderate your drug intake and balance your body out when you do take drugs, you will not have many (if ANY) problems in your life. Every drug has a moderation point, obviously. Heroin which is so addictive physically is obviously something to be taken MUCH! less often than pot if at all and that's Quoted for truth not some propaganda.

Triggers are nasty things yeah. You want to look up Nuerolinguistic reprogramming for more information on this. It's truthful advice and makes sense. There are a fair few PDFs available on this topic from Australian Gov health websites just search Google AU. One in particular which I've read is aimed specifically at methamphetamine users and rehabilitation however it applies to all aspects of life and addiction, not just 'drugs'.

One technique I've discovered myself and try to adhere to is as soon as a trigger occurs I instantly within less than a second focus my mind intensely about something else weather it be something in my surroundings or attach it to another memory or think fuck I must be thirsty!

This helps to re-program these triggers and it really is that simple.

It's the triggers that are the main part of E addiction, everyone knows that. We all know how fucking god damned good you feel on them. Music is better, sex (if you can get it up) is incredible, food is awesome during the comedown, driving a car is like piloting a fighter jet.

As others have said, find other things to do. But DONT stop going to parties or taking E, just do it once a month (haha we've all said that before right?).
Other than that you can try working full time, get a secondary group of friends who only drink at the pub or go motorbiking on weekends or boating you know? get up in the mornings early or something. It's so hard to break the lifestyle and I'm still mastering the ability to mix several lifestyles together harmoniously but I'm getting there and am happy with how I'm going so that's what counts to me right now.

The thing I've always found is to give up one drug you always grab on to another. You need to work it like a tic tac toe game where you play it well enough to have those two squares open at the end to win, you know what Im talking about!! (cheating strategic bastards you all are).

Also, when I've given up things such as the needle (yes the actual needle itself),, I kept a sharps kit here and sometimes just play with the needles, take them apart even the little o ring inside and put it back together or draw up random things with filters and squirt onto the ground just watching the stream of liquid. I've also shot injection water and drawn my own blood (slooooowly) or pricked myself with them. These things help because you are doing the whole ritual and even feel the jab in your arm and the dark red blood pull back but your not getting the effects so eventually you/r brain doesnt want it as much. Or with pot I kept a half ounce in a curing jar just to smell and watch. With alcohol I kept a carton of heavy beers with a sixpack in the fridge.

I started to think of myself as a drug collector. It kept me in the lifestyle in a way (or culture actually, not the lifestyle as much) but helped me beat any addictions.
This is the advice I always give myself when I find I need it and I give it to anyone I see who I feel might benefit. Even if it in the slightest way!

It's amazing how when you have something and are trying not to take it, it's so much easier not to want it than when you don't have it. This psychology won't work with everyone though. I am sure

Longest post I've made I think, anyway I had nothing else to do :p

I Hope someone finds it helpful/amusing/- even if it is a bit of a jumble but fuck a lot of this advice has helped me so much in my life and substance experience I have to keep passing it on as best I can to others.

 
My previous post was past, past tense. I don't really suffer from physical withdrawals anymore (from opiates) as I dont do nearly as much as I used to. It's just that niggling mental thing, like when you try to quit smoking. If I don't have anything for a two-three days I just want to scream. And yet I know I really should and soon I will have to stop regardless of how I feel as I'm starting Interferon treatment and I've been told I cant use any drugs, period. Whether thats true or not isn't the point, I'm not here to debate that point. Also financially I'm in a bit of a bind so...

Like other posters I find it very hard to get 'high on life'. I think the longest I've been off opiates these past couple of years is a week, thats pretty piss poor.

I'm hoping when I start my treatment reality will hit, but who knows? I really just dont know anymore... Every time its always the last time...

I'm just ranting now so I'll stop.
 
gumby11 said:
Tresca, some humble advice for you. Try and avoid the triggers such as ministry magazine covers, just try and avoid looking at them. Im guessing you live in a capital city, and I can garuantee (sp?) that there are plenty of alternatives to house clubs to go out and have fun. For me personally, Ive found having a nice meal out and a glass or two of wine can be quite fun. If I want a music and dance fix, there are hip hop, breaks or live music clubs I can go to where the majority of people arn't on drugs. Ive found that broadening my horizons with regard to music culture can help to focus on other things and take my mind off wanting e. Its great that you've set the goal to travel, this will help enormously. Hope this helps and good luck with what will be a bright future for you :)
Click to expand...

Hi thanks for the advise, I appreciate it. I do need to broaden my horizons, Ive always been a big house fan though cause its just so bloody good to dance to. I might try go out one night and dance and just have a couple of drinks then go home. Thinking about what I said in my OP I think its more that Im afraid of never dancing and socialising again rather than afraid of never taking E again.
Looking forward to my holiday anyway. Cheers :)
 
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