Make Things Better - SELF HELP.

I dont quite know what I am thinking of in this thread, just something and nothing. I know, roll a joint first then let's get stuck in.

This is a general idea about how to make yourself feel good. Make things better for yourself.

Now I dont know anything by any means, but some ideas for those people who need something to change - whether it is for drugs, or just personally.

I am thinking of .... like the fake it to make it thing and also gaining direction through finding the right job for you. about... for those people who perhaps are giving up drugs and worried about the withdrawals - well there are threads for that but for nothing for AFTER the WD's - where you're on your own if you want to stay off drugs, we need more help on how to manage when perhaps rehab and medications are not an option - changes that YOU can make.

For those who feel miserable about themselves, drugs or not - there are things that you can do to make things better and this is what I want to talk about.

Now cleverly, Pomplemerro here has not left herself enough time to put in the stuff that she wanted to so will have to come back, but I'd love to see people's ideas on self help.


the faking it to make it thing was good, talk about actual specific things that people can try.

anything at all, and when I come back I shall cover a range of topics I have been thinking of.

But for now I really have promised the cat I'll play outside now, so I'll be back.

how to be happy... god i wish i knew..

first off, theres no such thing as 'happiness', there is only the persuite of happiness alongside moments of joy that last for a limited time... being 'happy' implies permanant bliss... trust me, theres no such thing!! if there was, no one would ever feel the need to improve themselves... but what there is, is a realistic perspective, hope for the future, an aspiration for happiness but not happiness itself... all those suburban families out there living 'happy' lives are not happy, they're just routined, hopeful and secure... they try hard to reach this place called happiness, but its the getting there that counts, cos there is no terminal... the road of life is made for walking, not for arriving!!!!

the US constitution contains the following: Every American has the right to "life, liberty and the persuite of happiness"... i guess this is quite a good way to approach real freedom, however, these days, happiness is confused with pleasure where people equate the two... i know i do!! but pleasure is something else too... a depressed person can have pleasure but may not feel happy, i.e. may not have an aspiration for better things (? i dunno ?)...

one thing is to reward yourself for doing well... and making it clear to yourslef that you deserve the reward, rather than it being indulgence... thats happiness: being rewarded for doing a good deed... sounds rather childish, but then thats how the mind works to some extent... people go on holiday after saving up from work money, they buy chocolates for after work, etc... or go shopping... lots of the rewards i guess revolve around spending money some how... hey, i know people that reward themselves with a big spliff and some beer almost every day... but if you've done nothing to 'deserve' it, you'll feel bad, guilty, whatever... it happens to me all the time, especially with dope.

well, thats my take... no-one is actually "happy", thats a myth... but you can work hard to make things better... but, fuck, it makes me tired just thinking about it!!

the sun works for me

Definitely the sun!! And as a I've just got my hands on a new juicer and feeling great from drinking the stuff I'm gonna advise LOTS of fresh fruit and veg - eating and juicing!!

Diet is a big player in feeling good though. You'll never know till you make a real on going change and see for yourself the difference it can make.

sun works for me too - 'the orange kiss of summer'... aahhh... but thats all a moment of joy... cos what r u gonna do in the winter... i hate bein such a smart arse btw 8)
wish i had a juicer too!!

oh yeah, singing is great for me to get rid of cobwebs

been doing the juicer for about 6 months solid now...

pear, apple, carrot, orange; better than all your echanacia bollox

^Ever try ginger in there too? Really makes a great difference. Sorry, hijacking the thread somewhat but errrrr, yeah, try ginger.

You have to get up ,go out and do work,hard physical work,something creative [not like art ] but say buiding a fence digging a pond anything like that helps me.

^STAY INVOLVED. the key is just stay occupied like a normal productive citizen. get a job, full time or part time, that isn't too terribly shitty for a job. it helps to have hobbies like playing music in a band or stuff like running/lifting weights.

done too much ginger one time

other tips

brush teeth
shower or bath
shave
have a holiday
get a dog
get a job
walk like an egyptian

Da sun is fun

I would just like to support the sun one, it is uberdope and relaxing too. Physical activity is also very good for working out both mental and physical bugs.
Don't rely on the drugs, they all just trigger stuff that's in you already for the most part.
I like your stencils Banksy.

soon there will be enough sunshine in me to do this.

not tnoght though. dont know when.

new cloths...works wonders

In no particular order:

Having a job that challenges you

Having a goal, or trying to get somewhere in life.

The sun.

Doing things like eating well, staying hygenic, maintaining your appearance.

Friends.

Sex, or intimacy in general with the opposite sex.

Maintaining/re-establishing communication with your family.

Excersise, or just being active in general.

So ok these things are fabulous things to cheer yourself up and that's what I am talkig about, but now I am thinking - this is great but some people might just read it and - well some might read it but not know HOW to go out and get that - where to start and so not bother.

HOW to find that job
HOW to make some of the changes needed
HOW to break the routine
HOW to to even start looking after yourself.
How to change the way you think about things to change your perspective on stuff.

just to do things that can alter the course of things to come.

For example, if you are quitting drugs and plan to never take again but in a prime position to probably relapse, then you need to make changes.

If you are unhappy and think life is pointless, then make changes.

If you think sobriety is just too shit. then make changes.


A change is as good as a rest.

Fake that confidence. see other thread for more on that.

Look for a new job - ask yourself - what did I want to be when I was a kid? What is my ideal job in the world ever? What are my strengths and what do I like to do? Imagine getting a job where you just do what you love to do and then you get paid for it as well??? Write a CV - I can help anyone with that if you need it. Cant get a job? join all thes online job boards and let them come to you.

Dont know how to make changes? Then write things down - write your life if you want to, write all about you and go back and read. You'll see things and ideas to develop upon. Dont know what you want? Do you know what you DONT want? then start there and work backwards.

Do things just to cheer yourself up. Wear only clothes that suit you - they donthave to be flash or anything, but wash and make yourself look and feel good - then there's a bag of free confidence there for you immediately.
Walk with your head up cos you want to see where you are going dont you? People looking at you? Damn straight, they think who is that who walks tall? They must be worthy of respect.

having a drug addiction is all about you - your purpose is you and your drugs after a while. break that and look to help others even when you need it more yourself. That brings warmth and self respect and outside respect.
and helps to put your own life into perspective.

do stuff, call someone you havent seen in ages and go do something different.

whatever the problem is there is always either a solution or a way around it. Always have a plan B.

Friends.

Sex, or intimacy in general with the opposite sex.

Maintaining/re-establishing communication with your family.

So how do you do these 3? The other ones on your list don't seem too difficult.

But friends? What if you've never had friends? Sex relationships? Meh.. that'll wait till college. Fucked up family? Like parents are douches and won't change?

Look for a new job

I'm a student, but i guess researching for my goal would fit this category.


Then theres always TV and video games when you need to forget about the fact that reality exists... I think they make things worse, though.

Yeah.. they're just like drugs in that they help you escape from reality from time to time. Doesn't help much.

friends - do you have any just now>? you want new ones?

sexy, you and I have had run ins before, you and I have talked before and yuou have given me help and love and support ages ago before. You are wonderful friend material - do you remember how yuo were a honey to me? be a honey to other people and they will flock to you.

you want to meet friends? go to wher people like the same things as you - where they all know something you know - they will come to you to talk, but you have to go to where they are, you know? you tell me what you like, I'll give you ideas. I am full of ideas.

sex - intimacy..... um... well for that you have to pick a girl/ boy who is not a baddie, who will take the time to listen to what you tell them about yourself and your life and who wants to make you happy. easier said than done, but the more bd relationships you have the more you know what you do and dont want from love.

your parents are not you. you are not your parents. other relationships do affect you deeply anc can decide how you live yur life, but you are your own person - bad history doesnt mean bad future. you can start afresh and be whatever you want to be and dont have to take them into consideration - but it hurts if they are not what you want - or not what you need, I know. But you can manage and over time as you sort yurtself out then this will become more clear to you. the answer will.

look for a newjob
what do you study? tell me things you do and dont like. we'll find ideas.

even video games are boring after a while. enjoy it, but it's not your life.

dammit, have to go.... xxxxxx

bad history doesnt mean bad future.

:D

go to wher people like the same things as you

Well, I don't really enjoy anything right now. But I guess i gotta go out and try new things.


what do you study? tell me things you do and dont like. we'll find ideas.

I'm a HS senior, but I'll probably study something in genetics or molecular biology.

do you have any just now>? you want new ones?

Not really. Yes. I probably have to wait for college, but I don't see how college will be any different than high school, besides the freedom of parents.

Hmm.. thx for the reply. :D Little pushes here and there really help to keep the momentum going.