Reminders

Seems like you can never get away
Today i was putting away the clean forks and spoons in the drawer and shit, coming across one in particular that had one of those sick hard plastic handles
And i just thought "awww yea i always did like that spoon for cooking up shots"
put it back in the drawer like i was ready to pop a vein right now

theres tracks and body damage and all that old shit but outside of yourself, theres another million and one reminders in every day life, that will still be there, long after you quit

does it bother you? cuz it always takes me back

matches and foil, flip me...

yeah it haunts me too, and i need a tan NOW to cover the old purple marks in the inside of my elbows. but at least i have my complexion and happiness and sanity. and friends. mostly it reminds me of how much i am glad that i quit shooting dope, and how much hell i put myself through for no reason. especially because life is hard right now. but it will get easier. i keep going like the energizer bunny. and drink a lot. it helps.

the color orange, spoons, q tips, cigarettes, night time, skinniness, feeling cold, pharmacies... my veins which came back... oh god i would fantasize if i thought it wouldn't wake the beast.

the colour orange reminds me of things I have seen too. the smell of wet leaves reminds me of the smell of it runningo nyt he foil. I try not to handle tin foil at all now if poss, but when I do (for cooking purposes) I am instinctively feeling and judging how good a smoking foil it would be.

It is hard and I used to go nuts when I came across my triggers, now I just indulge the thoughts as that's as far as it can ever go now, so is nice to go there without actually using anythig.

it's true, it does seem like you can never get away.
it's a powerful drug, the only remote substance that I've EVER met that has humbled me.

@pomplemous - do most of yall UK heroin users smoke it or some shit? cuz theres alot of tinfoil talk just curious there aint as many people here seems like....peeps graduate on up to slamming/sniffin it right quick
Maybe you got the dope over there that u cant snort?

@kick the bunny
i know what u mean about feelin cold and skinny takin you back...i get the same way but i never gained more than 5 or so lbs after, so im still scrappy
Hahah i stll feel like a junkie sometimes too esp. cause of that
rainy ass days or getting caught out in theparking lot in the rain reminds me of the days
sitting in the car with the window that got stuck down, rain pourin in, waiting for my boyfriend to get back to the car from in th pharmacy hoping they sold him a couple rigs and stoppedbeing pricks

going to the doctors office where you can tell the nurse whose taking your blood what arm/vein to use haha the look on their face

The Exxon down the street from my house has a huge sign that says: WE HAVE DIESEL

^ yeah maybe a little piece of paper you can carry around with you that says BREATHE.

Not THAT kind of reminder!

you did't make the connection between 'diesel' and 'heroin' did you, Pomp?

maybe a reminder to yourself that reads "think"?

most of ya'll say the color orange makes you think of H. how so??

... the tip of the rig maybe?

^that's certainly what does it for me - such an orange orange.

orange

hahahahahhaha - never claimed to be clever, forgetful! no i have never heard that before - diesel.

what you lack in intelligence you sure make up for in humility. Oh, and still waiting for that email...

amnesiaseizure said:

maybe a reminder to yourself that reads "think"?

Click to expand...

and what makes me laugh more is that on every computer I have had in every work place I have been, I ALWAYS had a wee post-it note there saying THINK!!!!

HOW DID YOU KNOW??? hahahahahhah


Oh and speak for yourself - lack of intelligence! hahah - mind you - that which I have written above does not argue my case!

as for the reminders, some people are said to carry round alittle bottle of perfume or something when they get the smell of drugs in their nose, when that trigger is causing them to crave.
Others - you cant avoid the colour orange but you can reassociate that colour with something else.

You can force yourself to cook using foil to break the fear of that. (as I am trying to do)

you can alter your walk in the day if it takes you past a place that you are reminded of that.

you can change it. songs is a particular thing for me now, was smells, now songs, sometimes a song will just describe to me how it feels to be whacked on H - eg, Blur-'Sing' or othre sings I knew the last time I heard I was doing XYZ or something.

thats hard but the more you listen tot hem the less the reminders are... etc.

What makes it difficult is that part of you doesn't actually want to completely let go of the reminders. I know when I started on the methadone and moved away from london I still couldn't bring myself to delete EVERY number on my phone just in case I ever go up there again.

Still have a couple actually.. I think there has to be a certain amount of forced blocking/deleting of certain reminders 'cause I sure as hell don't know when I'll be able to willingly get rid of them.

^ TRUE TRUE TRUE - even now I still like my reminders now because there is still something I like about hte old life, being wasted etc, but know I cant go back, so having craves and letting myself have reminders and think about them lets me get as close to using without actually picking up that phone!

^^oh no doubt
Maaaan the other daay i went to the doctors office
he had rigs in thee ofr some reason there was this huge ass whole tray of them it was sick because it was t he ones with the twist-off tip so u can suck up the shit with the syringe then attach the needle on the end, like 29 gauge
so i ganked one for some reason
dont know why cuz i tell myself everyday that i dont do that anymore but myself cjust cant seem to take it in, its always like 'well maybe i just might need this someday" even though i dotn knwo what else i would ever need it for except one thing
And i always snorted more than shot up anyway
Maybe cuz out of all the thinsg u need to cook up and do a shot the needle is the least easiest thing to get


Even the stupidest shit can can remidn you - in "down and out" (newer joint by cam'ron) at the beginning he says "kanye this is that 1970's hero'n flow, huh" its a good track nice sample and shit
but the intro has the singer kind of building up for the song so she doin a couple "ooooooo-ooooo-ooowhoooo, yea" like that, while theyre talkin bout that heron right
just imagine somebody singing this swoony soulful-ass joint and somebody talkin heroin on top of it, its like a fuckin commercial for the shit
i know that wadnt the intentions but damn everytime i listen to that song i wanna go out and sniff some of that shit up
listen to the song youll know whwat i mean