Spanking/smacking children

Every day when im at work I see children misbehaving, and parents ignoring them. I see children throwing tantrums and being rude. And either their mothers laughing or letting them have their way.
I've been spat on by a 6 yr old boy and the mother just saying sorry to me, i've seen young girls tell their mothers to fuck off. I think i've almost seen it all.
But I never see parents disciplining their children, whether it be a harsh tone or a smack on the hand or a smack on the bottom.
And when I do see it, parents are usually so embarrassed about what they have said or done to their kids they actually apologize to me.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think children should be punished for acting like a child. But I think that a child acting unreasonable should have a parent to do something about it.
I was smacked as a child and I think I turned out okay (hehe), I will also smack my children. Come to think of it most of my friends were smacked. And they are all well adjusted young people.

So were you smacked as a child and will you/do you smack your own children?
What are your views on the subject?

i think that sometimes it is needed. Many school children now know they dont have that ultimatum of punishement and if they do get smacked by a teacher for example they know that the can have the power and get retribution as its now seen as child abuse.

It should always be a last resort but i do think that sometimes it maybe necessary, unfortunately where do you draw the line at what is discipline and what is abuse?

i remember something i saw in the news a while ago it was pretty big.
A father had smacked his young daughter (5 or 6) in the head in the middle of a shopping centre, this is un-called for. Keep it to the bottom, not so hard you bruise.

I don't know where you're from but I'm from Australia and smacking your children is actually illegal these days. When I was a child and really naughty, I used to get the wooden spoon...

Personally I don't think smacking kids/ instilling fear is an appropriate method of parenting. When our friends/ family members do things we see as 'wrong' we don't smack them, do we? (well.. possibly some ppl here do deal with thing in this manner but I think most of us would see it a inapropriate over something as petty as a child would do).

Whilst I feel that it's terrible a child spat on you (I've seen a 4 yr old hit an adult with a stick), you never know what behavioral disorders that child *could* have (A.D.D, for example).

Kids do need discipline, yes - that could mean not getting the icy-pole they were promised while out on a shopping mission when they get home (different levels of discipline depending on what they did wrong). Really, you don't know what goes on behind the scenes - there are other ways of discipline, it doesn't have to come down to a smack.

As for tantrums - it's actually most effective to *ignore* them. Giving the child attention for misbehaving because they didn't get their own way will possibly increase the risk of turning them into a spoilt brat in later life (to used to getting their way or being waited on thier whole life) . It might be unpleasant to listen to but mum is probably only doing what she thinks is best/ has proven to be effective for her.

I think it's quite embaressing to discipline kids in public - you can never please everyone. Some ppl will frown upon you if you do, others will frown if you don't. Either way, I'm sure it's not a true reflection of what 'really' happens... although at the same time, I'm a strong believer of consistency.

hmm... tough one but it should really be left up to the parents to handle.

Im in australia, and I dont think it matters if its illegal or not, i do things often that arent law abiding. So smacking a child would not be a big concern for me.

I can see that ignoring your mis-behaving child will work and i agree that it would, but its a different story if they are damaging some one else property, I work in retail, so most of the time the children that are not behaving are pulling at clothing, walking it into the floor, sucking on it. Now you cannot try to tell me that these children should be left alone. I dont get paid enough to be running after kids to stop them from destroying my store. parents do not do anything to stop them. And give me bad looks when i have to ask their children "honey dont touch the scissors, they could hurt you"

Aishas Star said:

Im in australia, and I dont hink it matters if its illegal or not, i do things oftern that arent law abyding. So smacking a child would not be a big concern for me.

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If someone saw a parent do that publically and calls kids help line (yes - their are ppl who are very against smacking and WOULD do this), you *could* be facing endless court battles over custody of your child. Unlikely, but bad things happen to good people.

If they're damaging property (ie. pulling clothes of racks) the parent should probably be sternly scolding them as a first offence and if they continue, removing them from the store.

As for scissors - I think that if they're in the reach of children in a retail store you're probably breaching occupational, health and safety rules - if this is the case, no wonder the parents give a dirty look. That is unless, they've sat the child on the counter or the childs managed to get into the drawers..... then the parent needs to take some responsibility.

I've seen very young children/ babies have a bit of a suck on a pair of pants while getting pushed past in the stroller. The parents have ALWAYS removed the clothing from the childs mouth immediately. Often they don't even notice though.. oh well, it's a simple accident - parents aren't superheros.

Actually unfortunatle kids can get anywhere. our sciissors are behind the counter in a cubord! Parents let their childern dig around anywhere, and i cant be every where ive got a job to do. becides it was just an example. it could be anything.
I would never smack my child in forn of anyone, but i would always tell them not to do something if i think they shouldnt be doing it.
And thats the problem, parents continue to shop with screaming crying children! they dont take then away form the shop. I dont know how people can handle it. it makes me crazy!

Yeah alright - I think we're on the same wavelength now - parents should certaintly not be allowing kids to wander into the cupboards. If this happens regulary (as much as I hate to say it) perhaps the parents need one of those harnesses (that look like dogs leashes) to keep the child safe and to make everyone else's job easier.

As for the crying/ tantruming - that's fair enough (in my eyes). Better to be strong than give into that rubbish. The parents need to get things done (shopping) regardless of the childs behaviour! It is unpleasant but that's life!

haha those things are great. Shopping does need top be done but i think when your walking around a discount shopping centre with 4 of your friends and 6 kids between you, its very unfair on the children. They get bored so easy and shouldnt have to wait for their mothers to talk and try on clothes for the hell of it. Drifting from store to store with unhappy kids.

At the front of my store we've got inhouse flyer racks. normally they are pretty well organised in elastic bands to stop them from blowing away, I had a lady that sat her 2 kids in fron of the rack and told then to play in the flyers, by the time i got over there the flyers were all over the shop, i kindly asked the kids to not play in the flyers and their mother came over yelling at me. She asked her if her kids could play ion the flyers. I said no, she stormed off yelling at me.

I don't see what the point is. It's teaching kids that violence is OK, and it's either inflicting a large amount of pain or of no purpose at all.

I was smacked maybe 4 times as a child, and I never learned anything from it, except maybe not to trust my parents.

Yeah, you're always going to get the odd defensive mother who feels as if no-one should tell her child off other than her... 8) Which is all good and fine IF she was ACTUALLY doing so.

You have a responsibility to keep your store in a tidy condition - if a mum has told a child otherwise, it's infringing upon you - you have a right to keep your work load to a minimum wherever possible.

The problem i find with most parents isn't whether they spank their children or not, as much as it is consistency. Parents nowadays seem far more likely to discipline their children only when that child in on their last nerve. These are also the kids that become teenagers and mommy and daddy just throw money their way to get them "out of their hair". I find that rather pathetic.

Spanking actually doesn't work on some kids, it didn't work on me as a child all that well. Even really young i had a tolerance for pain. Sometimes timeout is better, sometimes a stern voice or a bit of yelling works. Sometimes spanking is superb. The goal is to understand you're child's very basic psychological make up.. find out what works.. and do it consistently. spend time with the kid, not just fullfill y our responsibilities.

It's not just a lack of discipline, but a lack of quality time spent too i find. I dunno, the faster paced our society gets.. the more fucking pussy ass parents i see.

Who ever said anything about inflicting a large amount of pain??? Theres a differrence between leaving marks and a little smack on the hand or bottom.
It may not have taught you anything, but it sure as hell taught me a few things, as kandyraverchick said it instilled fear. When my mum use to say "if you keep crying i'll smack you" its like a double negative, but it sure as hell worked!

My mum beat me up bad twice, in front of my friends i was 17. But this had taught me a different way of bringing up children, because she did it i know that i would never do it to a child of mine, you learn from other peoples mistakes.

Oh, I did mention instilling fear but I'm not in favour of it...

A child's mind i don't think should be underestimated, but most children aren't going to understand the reasoning behind "No" all the time, and guess what "Time out" does? Instills fear through control. Same thing with threatening teenagers with being grounded. samething as physical discipline. Instilling fear is the only way a child in going to understand behave, sad but true...whether you spank, or not.

Yes - that's correct. I should've made myself clearer - I was referring to more extreme cases (smacking). Reasoning with the child to obtain co-operation is different (ie. "If you don't get in the car now, we won't go and see grandma tonight"). I see that approach as fair - yes it is a form of control but also very necissary. You'll never get anything done otherwise!

Yeah - I think I'm just re-typing what you said in different words now... I'll stop

surely a deterrent is needed. Sometimes that works best. Never did me any hard.

Fear never worked on me as a method of control. Pain never worked on me. What did work was understanding *why* the rules were there.

I only got slapped about 3 times when I was a kid and damn, I knew I'd done something really really bad. There has to be some way of letting your kids know.

All this rewarding kids for doing what they should be doing anyway is bullshit too . You think in the real world you're going to get a treat for being in work on time? No, you're going to not get fired....