My best trip on acid yet...
Hey there...ok...as some of you know I've only started tripping on acid about 5 months ago. My last trip, which was on 7 hits of blotter from Arizona called "Steel Eyes" (Sweet!) was VERY cool but my best trip yet was on two drops of liquid lsd. I wrote the experience down in an email to friends who trip, and I thought I'd share it with you here. The rest of this post is simply a cut and paste of that email. Let me know what you think and if you've ever had these beautiful experiences as well....
Jim
-----
Setting: A rave in Chicago, "No Place Like Home."
I originally intended on just rolling on E that night, but long story short, I was sold a bunk pill, bought another, never blew up, got a third and still didn't roll. So...I made the decision to trip. I found a girl selling LSD-25, liquid, for $5.00/drop. I asked for two. This was my 7th time tripping on acid. (The last time was two weeks ago at a Goa party called Tripnosis in Detroit. (there I had candyflipped)).
Now...realize that I THINK I actually did start to roll once the acid kicked in...cause the first hour and a half of my "trip" was very close to a full-strength candyflip...Acid just pre-dominated the experiences. At this point...everything I had experienced in the past with acid was present. Lights began to pulse, I had mild hallucinations (arms disappearing while dancing, slow motion of moving objects at times, the music beginning to "invade" my body, etc) and I always get a boost of energy when I start to trip and I danced for about 1.5 hours before going back to the chill-out room to rest. This is where I believe my "trip" began. By now if the Acid was totally overtaking me and no elements of the light rolling were left.
While sitting and talking to my friends...I couldn't help but notice that everything around me, or I should say, everything in my field of view started to seem "distant" but not via physical location...just a feeling of detachment. I had had this experience at Tripnosis two weeks ago...felt like I was watching a movie that I was in and everyone around me was in the movie too. (hard to fully describe this emotion/feeling. It wasn't a bad or scary feeling, more empowering and awesome than anything) At this point I should state that when I decided to start tripping, I'd keep my mind open to all possibilities and experiences and to not anticipate anything bad or frightening. So far, it's worked.
Ok...so I'm sitting there noticing that even though I'm seeing/hearing everything going on around me, it's slowly taking on it's own 'reality' and my mind/consciousness was becoming more obvious to me. By this I mean...if I wasn't talking to someone or they weren't talking directly at me, my mind would fixate upon whatever "view" I had in my mind at the moment and I would start to become more aware of my mental reactions to my perceptions than my perceptions themselves. I didn't get "caught" by this experience because I could just move my eyes or head and I'd be right back "to normal." Even during this part of the trip, I could still hear/smell/feel everything around me like "normal" it's just that my consciousness/focus was becoming more and more inward while fixating on anything I started to stare at. (Kinda like the feeling of daydreaming, but without the "spacey" feeling that entails).
So...I start to realize that my trip was taking a new direction that it never did before. All the while I could only say things like, "wow" and "oh my god."
It was very cool. At this point, I asked my friend Paul if he was ready to drive us back home. He said he was and we went out to the car. While he was cleaning all the snow off outside, I was sitting there and just adjusting to the intensity of the "pulsating molecules" bouncing off everything. The light coming through the snow on the windshield looked like a golden kaleidescope...it was INTENSELY beatiful. Of all the "purest" moments, I think this was the most beautiful of the night.
Once we started to drive, I relaxed a bit more and laid my head back and closed my eyes. TALK ABOUT GEOMETRY! I had so many geometric patterns flashing/flying/dashing by my "field of view" in beautiful yet not-so-bright colors. We were listening to my Hard Trance tape, "tears of love", at my request since I never heard it while tripping. WoWoWoWOWOWOWO! It was intense. By now, the ability of acid to take me into the music was very intense. The music was completely encompassing my mind and body. All the while, however, my trip kept turning inwards. Whether or not my eyes were open, I was now becoming a "guest" or "customer" to my own thoughts. It was as if my ability to "hear" my thoughts in my head was so amplified that I was now just BEING the thoughts, and not thinking them. And not just one at a time...at one point I can remember entertaining around 8 or 9 thoughts all at once, and yet individually unique. Again, I'm not describing this feeling very well...but I'm hoping some of you can relate.
At this point I started to really relax and just go with it. I kept my eyes open for the rest of the ride home at this point and as I was "being" the thoughts, I noticed that I was transcending them. I started to feel a further detachment where I was no longer the center of my own mind...but of something much greater. At one point in the conversation, Paul had put his had on my knee/leg and grabbed my hand to comfort me about something we just talked about. The instant his hand grabbed mine, this is weird, for like a second or two, I was "in his mind." I saw how the road looked moving towards HIM and not me...I could "see" my body, hand, leg, etc, from HIS lateral right view. The second I realized what happened, I was "back" to my perception/viewpoint. The entire time, however, the ongoing detachment feeling was slowly but surely becoming more intense.
So...we get home and Paul jumps into the shower first. He offered to put in some really interesting ambient music by a group who's name I forget. I THINK it was Electric Church or something like that...anyway, it was very minimal. While I sat on the bed listening, my gaze fixated on the rug (which was REALLY breathing and "becoming electric" in pulses) and this is where the detachment feeling "won." I was now subject to the will of the trip. Even though I still knew I was ok, both physically and mentally, I allowed myself to "go with it." I immediately felt as though the entire universe had come to a complete standstill. I felt a oneness radiating from within the depths of my mind/body and radiating outwards to the farthest reaches of the universe. At this moment I believe I felt what it must be like when monks/yogis meditate. I was completely still, peaceful and yet my mind did not wander nor did my body move. I was completely connected to everything around me. I was at once linear yet undefined, a single consciousness yet many, one form of energy yet a small atom in the most all-encompassing body of energy I can image. I felt a reverence for the massive "force" that was "Behind" the perception. I realized that the gaze that I was fixated on was simply an illusion...or better said...an image blocking my view from the true face of the massive collective of energy I was now becoming aligned with. I felt very isolated and "alone" yet I was not "lonely" or uncomfortable.
"Ok...you're next!" Paul was done with the shower and I just calmly looked up at him and got up and took my shower. As I started moving around my "linear" experience disappated, but the feeling of connectivy to the "oneness of all things" remained. As I was cleaning off in the shower, I started to stretch my legs and back and just leaned against the shower wall to take in the heat and steam of the water. As I did...I had a very interesting new experience. Everything was now calm. No more connections to everything around me. Just stillness and warmth. Then, a mental "slide show" began. In "my minds eye" I started to have images begin to form as my body was feeling a new stimulus. The first image was simply an all-encompassing white room, with a white light bulb hanging down from a ceiling with no shade, a small wooden table with a chair and a black, unopened window in the background. Then suddenly a I moved my posture slightly and the vision was simply a "close-up" of an old man's eye. His face (of what could be seen) had been painted white and I could hear his breathing...he never blinked...again...it flashed back to the table/window/corner. Again, back to the man's eye. I had the feeling that his eye was what I was seeing the white room through. But here's the interesting part...this entire time I was REALLY only seeing water droplets running down the tile...it was only in my mind that I saw these images...but much more clearly than if I was in a sober state.
The final experience that occured is the only one that I would say was a little frightening...but in no way would I say it was bad. Paul was already in bed after I got out of the shower and I was sleeping on a sleeping bag on the ground across from the bed. The ambient music was still on and I laid down. (I forgot to mention that as soon as we got home, I took two Excedrin PM's to help put me out since I still had to drive 5 hours home and I didn't wan't to crash hard when I got home...I had to be up at 5:30am this morning) So, I get comfortable and I'm on my back just listening to the music. When I closed my eyes the geometric shapes were no longer there...but I kept opening my eyes and staring at the wall/ceiling above me (mind you, I'm TERRIBLY near-sighted and without my glasses on, it was just a light blur). Then it just happened. The slow pulse and sounds of the track that was playing began to take over me quite unexpectedly. (this is after about 5 or 6 minutes of this staring at nothing) As the pulse of the song slow moved along...I started to lose all conscious recognition of my body or surroundings.
All I could hear was the music and all I could feel was the music. I was slowly reducing down to a form of energy that felt so incredibly primordial or "pure of essence" that after a few minutes I finally got confused and I wasn't sure if I was still in the room, or even in my own body. So I didn't panic, but just thought to myself..."just say something and wake Paul up." (I forgot to also mention that I have heard of using a "safeword" whenever taking psychadelics that only your friends know about so if you ever say it they'll know you are about to have or are having a bad experience) So...it took me a second or two but I just said as loud as I could..."This is too much." Far cry from the safeword for the night, which was "help." I could "sense" where he was in the room, but I was still caught in the minimal state of "being nothing" to see/hear him. Then I tried to speak again and this time I said, "Paul. This is my way of saying help." And with that he woke up right away and started to talk to me...the second I heard his voice...I was "back" but just a little disoriented. However, I need to reiterate that I was not freaked out...maybe just a little overwhelmed at how quickly this last experience took over. All the others had been very smooth and gentle.
After talking a while with Paul...I felt ready to go to sleep and I slept for two hours...all the while my mind/body was fighting to stay awake...but I did sleep. I woke up at 9:30am and was still tripping but very very lightly. Just a hint of the molecules and pulsing. By 11:30am, I was "done" and fell asleep again til 4:30pm.
---------
Well there you have it. [future plans removed -Splatt]
Love and Hugs,
Jim
[Re-added parageaph breaks -Splatt]
Hey there...ok...as some of you know I've only started tripping on acid about 5 months ago. My last trip, which was on 7 hits of blotter from Arizona called "Steel Eyes" (Sweet!) was VERY cool but my best trip yet was on two drops of liquid lsd. I wrote the experience down in an email to friends who trip, and I thought I'd share it with you here. The rest of this post is simply a cut and paste of that email. Let me know what you think and if you've ever had these beautiful experiences as well....
Jim
-----
Setting: A rave in Chicago, "No Place Like Home."
I originally intended on just rolling on E that night, but long story short, I was sold a bunk pill, bought another, never blew up, got a third and still didn't roll. So...I made the decision to trip. I found a girl selling LSD-25, liquid, for $5.00/drop. I asked for two. This was my 7th time tripping on acid. (The last time was two weeks ago at a Goa party called Tripnosis in Detroit. (there I had candyflipped)).
Now...realize that I THINK I actually did start to roll once the acid kicked in...cause the first hour and a half of my "trip" was very close to a full-strength candyflip...Acid just pre-dominated the experiences. At this point...everything I had experienced in the past with acid was present. Lights began to pulse, I had mild hallucinations (arms disappearing while dancing, slow motion of moving objects at times, the music beginning to "invade" my body, etc) and I always get a boost of energy when I start to trip and I danced for about 1.5 hours before going back to the chill-out room to rest. This is where I believe my "trip" began. By now if the Acid was totally overtaking me and no elements of the light rolling were left.
While sitting and talking to my friends...I couldn't help but notice that everything around me, or I should say, everything in my field of view started to seem "distant" but not via physical location...just a feeling of detachment. I had had this experience at Tripnosis two weeks ago...felt like I was watching a movie that I was in and everyone around me was in the movie too. (hard to fully describe this emotion/feeling. It wasn't a bad or scary feeling, more empowering and awesome than anything) At this point I should state that when I decided to start tripping, I'd keep my mind open to all possibilities and experiences and to not anticipate anything bad or frightening. So far, it's worked.
Ok...so I'm sitting there noticing that even though I'm seeing/hearing everything going on around me, it's slowly taking on it's own 'reality' and my mind/consciousness was becoming more obvious to me. By this I mean...if I wasn't talking to someone or they weren't talking directly at me, my mind would fixate upon whatever "view" I had in my mind at the moment and I would start to become more aware of my mental reactions to my perceptions than my perceptions themselves. I didn't get "caught" by this experience because I could just move my eyes or head and I'd be right back "to normal." Even during this part of the trip, I could still hear/smell/feel everything around me like "normal" it's just that my consciousness/focus was becoming more and more inward while fixating on anything I started to stare at. (Kinda like the feeling of daydreaming, but without the "spacey" feeling that entails).
So...I start to realize that my trip was taking a new direction that it never did before. All the while I could only say things like, "wow" and "oh my god."
It was very cool. At this point, I asked my friend Paul if he was ready to drive us back home. He said he was and we went out to the car. While he was cleaning all the snow off outside, I was sitting there and just adjusting to the intensity of the "pulsating molecules" bouncing off everything. The light coming through the snow on the windshield looked like a golden kaleidescope...it was INTENSELY beatiful. Of all the "purest" moments, I think this was the most beautiful of the night. Once we started to drive, I relaxed a bit more and laid my head back and closed my eyes. TALK ABOUT GEOMETRY! I had so many geometric patterns flashing/flying/dashing by my "field of view" in beautiful yet not-so-bright colors. We were listening to my Hard Trance tape, "tears of love", at my request since I never heard it while tripping. WoWoWoWOWOWOWO!
It was intense. By now, the ability of acid to take me into the music was very intense. The music was completely encompassing my mind and body. All the while, however, my trip kept turning inwards. Whether or not my eyes were open, I was now becoming a "guest" or "customer" to my own thoughts. It was as if my ability to "hear" my thoughts in my head was so amplified that I was now just BEING the thoughts, and not thinking them. And not just one at a time...at one point I can remember entertaining around 8 or 9 thoughts all at once, and yet individually unique. Again, I'm not describing this feeling very well...but I'm hoping some of you can relate. At this point I started to really relax and just go with it. I kept my eyes open for the rest of the ride home at this point and as I was "being" the thoughts, I noticed that I was transcending them. I started to feel a further detachment where I was no longer the center of my own mind...but of something much greater. At one point in the conversation, Paul had put his had on my knee/leg and grabbed my hand to comfort me about something we just talked about. The instant his hand grabbed mine, this is weird, for like a second or two, I was "in his mind." I saw how the road looked moving towards HIM and not me...I could "see" my body, hand, leg, etc, from HIS lateral right view. The second I realized what happened, I was "back" to my perception/viewpoint. The entire time, however, the ongoing detachment feeling was slowly but surely becoming more intense.
So...we get home and Paul jumps into the shower first. He offered to put in some really interesting ambient music by a group who's name I forget. I THINK it was Electric Church or something like that...anyway, it was very minimal. While I sat on the bed listening, my gaze fixated on the rug (which was REALLY breathing and "becoming electric" in pulses) and this is where the detachment feeling "won." I was now subject to the will of the trip. Even though I still knew I was ok, both physically and mentally, I allowed myself to "go with it." I immediately felt as though the entire universe had come to a complete standstill. I felt a oneness radiating from within the depths of my mind/body and radiating outwards to the farthest reaches of the universe. At this moment I believe I felt what it must be like when monks/yogis meditate. I was completely still, peaceful and yet my mind did not wander nor did my body move. I was completely connected to everything around me. I was at once linear yet undefined, a single consciousness yet many, one form of energy yet a small atom in the most all-encompassing body of energy I can image. I felt a reverence for the massive "force" that was "Behind" the perception. I realized that the gaze that I was fixated on was simply an illusion...or better said...an image blocking my view from the true face of the massive collective of energy I was now becoming aligned with. I felt very isolated and "alone" yet I was not "lonely" or uncomfortable.
"Ok...you're next!" Paul was done with the shower and I just calmly looked up at him and got up and took my shower. As I started moving around my "linear" experience disappated, but the feeling of connectivy to the "oneness of all things" remained. As I was cleaning off in the shower, I started to stretch my legs and back and just leaned against the shower wall to take in the heat and steam of the water. As I did...I had a very interesting new experience. Everything was now calm. No more connections to everything around me. Just stillness and warmth. Then, a mental "slide show" began. In "my minds eye" I started to have images begin to form as my body was feeling a new stimulus. The first image was simply an all-encompassing white room, with a white light bulb hanging down from a ceiling with no shade, a small wooden table with a chair and a black, unopened window in the background. Then suddenly a I moved my posture slightly and the vision was simply a "close-up" of an old man's eye. His face (of what could be seen) had been painted white and I could hear his breathing...he never blinked...again...it flashed back to the table/window/corner. Again, back to the man's eye. I had the feeling that his eye was what I was seeing the white room through. But here's the interesting part...this entire time I was REALLY only seeing water droplets running down the tile...it was only in my mind that I saw these images...but much more clearly than if I was in a sober state.
The final experience that occured is the only one that I would say was a little frightening...but in no way would I say it was bad. Paul was already in bed after I got out of the shower and I was sleeping on a sleeping bag on the ground across from the bed. The ambient music was still on and I laid down. (I forgot to mention that as soon as we got home, I took two Excedrin PM's to help put me out since I still had to drive 5 hours home and I didn't wan't to crash hard when I got home...I had to be up at 5:30am this morning) So, I get comfortable and I'm on my back just listening to the music. When I closed my eyes the geometric shapes were no longer there...but I kept opening my eyes and staring at the wall/ceiling above me (mind you, I'm TERRIBLY near-sighted and without my glasses on, it was just a light blur). Then it just happened. The slow pulse and sounds of the track that was playing began to take over me quite unexpectedly. (this is after about 5 or 6 minutes of this staring at nothing) As the pulse of the song slow moved along...I started to lose all conscious recognition of my body or surroundings.
All I could hear was the music and all I could feel was the music. I was slowly reducing down to a form of energy that felt so incredibly primordial or "pure of essence" that after a few minutes I finally got confused and I wasn't sure if I was still in the room, or even in my own body. So I didn't panic, but just thought to myself..."just say something and wake Paul up." (I forgot to also mention that I have heard of using a "safeword" whenever taking psychadelics that only your friends know about so if you ever say it they'll know you are about to have or are having a bad experience) So...it took me a second or two but I just said as loud as I could..."This is too much." Far cry from the safeword for the night, which was "help." I could "sense" where he was in the room, but I was still caught in the minimal state of "being nothing" to see/hear him. Then I tried to speak again and this time I said, "Paul. This is my way of saying help." And with that he woke up right away and started to talk to me...the second I heard his voice...I was "back" but just a little disoriented. However, I need to reiterate that I was not freaked out...maybe just a little overwhelmed at how quickly this last experience took over. All the others had been very smooth and gentle.
After talking a while with Paul...I felt ready to go to sleep and I slept for two hours...all the while my mind/body was fighting to stay awake...but I did sleep. I woke up at 9:30am and was still tripping but very very lightly. Just a hint of the molecules and pulsing. By 11:30am, I was "done" and fell asleep again til 4:30pm.
---------
Well there you have it.
[future plans removed -Splatt] Love and Hugs,
Jim
[Re-added parageaph breaks -Splatt]
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