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MyDoorsAreOpen
06-10-2004, 01:22
The subject line pretty much says it all. What behaviors and attitudes tend to make people look at a person (particularly a man) and say, "I see signs of repressed homosexuality."? How do these character traits relate directly to being gay but in denial about it?

Or is "repressed homosexual" usually just a fictitious label put on any men who act a certain way, by bigots? If you think this is the case, what are the behaviors used to justify this label, and why are they mistaken by the casual observer for hidden gayness?

I ask because I've heard this term batted around before, but can't say as I've ever met someone that I thought it applied to.

L O V E L I F E
06-10-2004, 01:27
A screen name of "Spencer."

fairnymph
06-10-2004, 03:19
^^^
ROFL!

I have dated or been involved with 3 represssed homosexuals, so I seem to go for them or something!

Many things are very stereotypical but still hold grains of truth, such as a lisp and excessive hand movements while talking.

The biggest sign though, hands-down, is intense homophobia, especially if combined with any 'stereotypical' traits.

AstridAsteroid
06-10-2004, 03:27
Haha, I've dated only ONE repressed homosexual. I found it funny that every other BF of mine always wanted to do me in the butt, but this one didn't. Plus, his mannerisms were just real feminine.. he would always walk with his back arched, his arms bent and his hands limp.

paradoxcycle
06-10-2004, 03:33
I would imagine, for a man, displaying feminine traits and for a woman, vice versa. What are the behaviors and attitudes for a repressed heterosexual?

Johnny1
06-10-2004, 03:42
Hating gay people. Hurting gay people. These are two in my mind. It certainly doesn't cover all the people who are hateful bigots, but these are signs of repression as far as I'm concerned.

MazDan
06-10-2004, 04:06
To all of the stuff up there............I hope that you are all just taking the piss..........Cos it sounds to me like an absolute load of codswallop.

Someone has a lisp............therefore they may be gay.........please.

And I know a number of gay people who are not in the least feminine and straight guys who are quite feminine.

hand movements when talking.........OMG........well that pretty much means every Italian is one.

Please tell me u r all just takin the piss.........

fizzygirl
06-10-2004, 04:24
Yeah I'm not too fond of the 'repressed homosexual' term or idea myself.

FestiveCheez
06-10-2004, 05:06
Some more Avenue Q goodness:

ROD (speaking quickly): So why are you telling me this? Do you think I care? I don't care. What'd you have for lunch today?

NICKY: Well, you don't need to get all defensi---

ROD (defensive): I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!!! (Pause.) Why do I care about some gay guy you met on the subway?

Later on, when he's confronted with the suspicion that he's gay, Rod sings a great little tune called "My Girlfriend, Who Lives In Canada." So that's one way to tell. ;)

Mariposa
06-10-2004, 05:45
Originally posted by fairnymph
The biggest sign though, hands-down, is intense homophobia, especially if combined with any 'stereotypical' traits.

That's been my experience as well. I am not certain what the exact statistics are, or even if a specific study that doesn't use the survey method has been done, but it certainly is a common defense mechanism.

I have also known "straight" guys who have been assholes constantly seeking trysts and conquests with women in an (ineffective) effort to prove (mostly to themselves) they really don't dream about sucking cock 16 hours out of the day. :)

AstridAsteroid
06-10-2004, 05:49
Originally posted by MazDan


hand movements when talking.........OMG........well that pretty much means every Italian is one.



Or Persian. :p

mean green 95
06-10-2004, 07:13
omg dont even get me started on this. all of HS my friends thought i was gay and i had no idea. so i finally asked my gay friend what about me makes ppl think i was gay. he told me i articulate and gesticulate(the hand movements) also i can cross my legs if i want to. funny thing now is that all my friends that are girls now want their bf or man to be more like me. so yea basically there are no signs.

Pure_XTC
06-10-2004, 07:35
<3 LL :)

FestiveCheez
06-10-2004, 08:05
Originally posted by mean green 95
funny thing now is that all my friends that are girls now want their bf or man to be more like me. so yea basically there are no signs.

God, don't you hate that?!!

HOT GIRL: "I wish my boyfriend were more like you."
YOU: "...okay."

mean green 95
06-10-2004, 08:10
Originally posted by FestiveCheez
God, don't you hate that?!!

HOT GIRL: "I wish my boyfriend were more like you."
YOU: "...okay."
yea it totally sucks. but hot girls have hot friends so thats ok.

muzby
06-10-2004, 11:40
edited: sorry, see post below

Beatlebot
06-10-2004, 11:58
WELL, here is my opinion.
I have never met a man who could honestly say that he has NEVER thought about having sex with another man. Most men, if they are honest about it, will admit that they have wondered what it would be like.

So the REPRESSED homosexual man, is the one who would not admit to ever thinking about it, even under torutre. At the very idea of homsexuality he expresses disgust and displeasure. Not just quietly, he makes sure that everyone knows that he thinks homosexuality is weird and wrong.

One night, I was with a group of friends and we went into a bar that turned out to be a gay bar. Noone really cared 'cos the drinks were cheap and the atmosphere was cool. But that was until repressed homosexual saw two GIRLS kissing. I'll paraphrase "Oh no, don't look, oh no, that's just wrong, I'm scared"

Yes, he was actually scared because two girls were kissing ten feet away from him. I'm pretty sure the girls were not even aware of his existence.
That just does not add up to me. I think he doth protest too much.

Strawberry_lovemuffin
06-10-2004, 12:47
muz!!! your damn link makes popups and viruses appear. I'm getting rid of it. ps. It was Robbie Williams.

Dan1584(2)
06-10-2004, 17:34
To all of the stuff up there............I hope that you are all just taking the piss..........Cos it sounds to me like an absolute load of codswallop.

Someone has a lisp............therefore they may be gay.........please.

And I know a number of gay people who are not in the least feminine and straight guys who are quite feminine.

hand movements when talking.........OMG........well that pretty much means every Italian is one.

Please tell me u r all just takin the piss.........

I was just about to say the same thing...great, attractive, and potentially genius minds think alike ;)

paradoxcycle
06-10-2004, 18:24
Originally posted by MazDan
To all of the stuff up there............I hope that you are all just taking the piss..........Cos it sounds to me like an absolute load of codswallop.

Right, he is asking for the STEREOTPYES. I never said I thought it was fair or correct, it's just stupid bullshit that people believe.

mariacallas
06-10-2004, 20:37
Ive got a pretty good gaydar....maybe its because i have so many good friends who happen to be GHEY and i just immediately pick up on the slightest nuance or impression , when i first meet someone who might possibly be gay. Plus im a major fag hag . Take note, i dont purposely look for clues or whatever when i meet new people (doh!! as if) but there have been several instances wherein a lightbulb flashed in my head and this would be proven correct later on, without me having to inquire about it at all.
Its actually really hard to pinpoint ALL the possible gestures and impressions that could indicate somebody is homosexual....i have 100% straight male friends who happen to be the gayest straights you will ever meet (and i actualy love that in a man...when hes so secure with his sexuality he doesnt give a rats ass that he may be giving off "homosexual signals" or whatever to people...and these kinds of men are usually very friendly to my gay friends as well, and are also effeminate in a way. (yes, insert *puke* metrosexual here...thats the closest possible term i can lay on it)...
But then again i have gay friends who loook even straighter than my straight friends. ITs hard to generalize and make conclusions.....so my take is, each person is unique and different and so there.(im getting a headache grr...lol)
ONE Thing tho i noticed that is consistent...is that my male friends who were OVERTLY homophobic, didnt ALL turn out to be ghey, but some of the most defiant ones were surprisingly those who were.
So in conclusion, unless the person in front of u happens to be acting gayer than a cross-dressing french poodle , you can just NEVER BE TOTALLY SURE



8( %)

fairnymph
06-10-2004, 20:39
They definitely ARE stereotypes and you can't take them all that seriously...but like most stereotypes they are based on bits of truth. If you have a number of different signs then maybe you might start to wonder...

I've also known a represssed heterosexual so it goes both ways!

BrianUK23
06-10-2004, 21:26
I work with the whole spectrum of Gay guys.

I work with feminie guys who call each other girl and "little bitch", and i work with huge thug guys who in no possible way look gay but are. Either way, they are ALL cool as hell, and i like hanging out with them.

Actually, i spent saturday night at Connections (gay bar) in Louisville with all eight of them, no females with us, and i was the only straight guy. Needless to say, i had a great time. Probably because they dont ever feel the need for me to pay them for drugs, but even if it weren't for that, i would still have a fun time.

It was kind of funny, i distinctly remember spending a much larger amount of time getting ready, making sure i smlled good, and picking out the best outfit i could find to go out with them, then i would if i was going out with my friends.

I have also found too that males who are unessesarily homophobic always seem to be the oens coming out of the closet when they leave high school and what not.

One of ym buddies gotr a compliment from my gay friend and he took it really offensively. Not too his face, but after we left he was all worked up about. I was like "dude, they all let me know they thought i was hot, and it didnt bother me."

ll vapid ll
06-10-2004, 21:33
metrosexual anyone? :)

paradoxcycle
06-10-2004, 22:26
Originally posted by fairnymph
They definitely ARE stereotypes and you can't take them all that seriously...but like most stereotypes they are based on bits of truth. If you have a number of different signs then maybe you might start to wonder...

I've also known a represssed heterosexual so it goes both ways!

That was my exact point. Maybe I wasn't expressing myself clearly. Sorry :)

rm-rf
06-10-2004, 23:37
how in the hell could any straight guy not get turned on by two chicks making out?!?! Even if you have some sort if religious/moral dilemma, deep down inside u know its hot!


well that pretty much means every Italian is one.

duh!

MazDan
07-10-2004, 03:25
Originally posted by Dan1584(2)
I was just about to say the same thing...great, attractive, and potentially genius minds think alike ;)

God I wish u would come and live here in Australia..........you know u want to.................lol.


hmmm..........I wonder if that is the sign of a repressed whatever Im sposed to be.

David
09-10-2004, 12:17
Originally posted by ll vapid ll
metrosexual anyone? :)

I don't understand this. Why are there different classifications for gender's, based on behavior. The behaviors aren't exclusive in any classication. It's just more broad type generalisation, and stereotyping.

Sorry, it's a paradigm that doesn't make sense to me. People are individuals, and no behavior is exclusive to anyone group.

PlurredChemistry
10-10-2004, 14:14
<soapbox>

the #1 telltale sign of a repressed homosexual:

Having sex with a member of the same sex!

we are all fucking repressed. can you walk down the street with your significant other without the worry of being yelled at or spit on? do people denounce your relationships as telltale signs of the moral degredation of the world? can you get married?

</soapbox>

okay okay, i suppose that is opressed, but you know...

looking for stereotypical signs...honestly it is too hard to say. there is such a wide variety of gay men out there that the general public essesntially ignores, only willing to accept only the faggy stereotype.

before coming out i didn't know this and thought i had to fit into this gay stereotype. you probably never would have had a clue i have the ghey if you saw me walking down the street. get to know me a bit better and you'll know, but i can't count the number of times i've been asked at a gay club/bar "are you gay?"

there are no hard and fast rules. period.

Raz
10-10-2004, 17:35
Sweet baby jesus....is it just me or is bluelight becoming more and more fucked up as time goes on? 8(

Here are the signs of a repressed homosexual: having sex with men and not women and then pretending to be straight. That's basically it.

Anything else is bullshit. I have a number of straight male friends who'd be picked as gay before I would. Because they're more polite than me, because their every second word isn't fuck or cunt, because they're infinitely more well-groomed, because they're more effeminate or they make more of an effort to look like they should be in a magazine than I do, because frankly, they're better looking than I am. But guess what? They're still straight.

Ultimately, how someone interacts with the world isn't THAT great an indication of their sexuality. Apparently that comes as a surprise to a lot of people, but it's still true.

Jesus.... 8(

Strawberry_lovemuffin
11-10-2004, 02:01
I'm forever falling in infatuation with gay guys. *sigh* I can't tell. I have no gadar whatsover.

me, flirtily: "So, why don't you have a girlfriend?" ;)

"Well..."

BLOCK
11-10-2004, 02:02
^ said perfectly!

ksi
11-10-2004, 05:05
you need to have a gaydar, whehehehwowoeoeoeoeoehahaha :p

MyDoorsAreOpen
11-10-2004, 17:54
Interesting responses. I ask because I was once accused of being a respessed homosexual on several occasions by several people who didn't know each other, when I expressed a really strong and embittered frustration over something that didn't meet my idealistic visions. This didn't make me happy to hear, but it rang a bell in the back of my mind that said, "yeah, I could see why a straight guy would say that." Couldn't put a finger on exactly why, but it made sense at some primal level.

I later encountered a very strange man who did the same thing. He showed an enormous (undeserved, IMHO) amount of frustration and passion over a restaurant not making a dish according to his rather inflexible idea of how it should be. It made him so mad he wanted to punch the chef, and he dwelt on it for the rest of dinner. My g/f, who has much better gaydar than me, had suspected he was gay and was jonesin for me. After this incident, she said she was CERTAIN he was gay and didn't admit it to himself.

I think many people see something inherently less than straight in a man being fiercely idealistic and getting deeply upset when his ideals aren't manifested in the real world. I think this is because idealism has nothing to do with -- and in fact often works against -- the getting of pussy, which is the macho man's mission in life. Therefore, by this logic, any man who can get deeply frustrated about something that doesn't involve pussy at all must not be completely batting for the same team.

Does this ring true with anyone here?

mariacallas
12-10-2004, 13:18
I am a completely irepressible heterosexual fag hag.

DeSpise
13-10-2004, 00:20
I later encountered a very strange man who did the same thing. He showed an enormous (undeserved, IMHO) amount of frustration and passion over a restaurant not making a dish according to his rather inflexible idea of how it should be. It made him so mad he wanted to punch the chef, and he dwelt on it for the rest of dinner.

hah i would love to see that... some dude trying to take on a team of guys charged to the balls with adrenaline wearing steel capped boots and wielding extremely large, sharp knives.

anyway back to the suject, i think raz put it perfectly. gay means having sex with/bing attracted to men !!!

i wish people would wake the fuck up and realise this, ive lost count of the number of people who think im gay when they first meet me. and why? because im not a macho man wanker. goddamn it im a girly man not a gay man LOL. just cos i have.. ahem.. fine features doesnt mean that im attracted to men. in fact i find the idea quite disgusting. (no offence to you guys!!!! but thats just how i feel eh) oh yeah and i like to scream ARGH in a in high pitched voice when i hurt myself heheh

i think most typical beer-guzzling pub-brawlin guys see anyone who is comfortable with themselves as possibly gay. honestly i think that half of them are repressed homos. they put on such a "straight as fuck mate" front that i wonder what theyre trying to hide ;) as someone else said... the ones who would totally try and convince you that they NEVER had any thoughts about sleeping with the same sex.

i mean... who knows what goes on in those group showers in the footy change rooms!!!! alot of perving ill bet. those guys cant seem to get enough of jumping allover each other and slapping their teammates asses....

FestiveCheez
13-10-2004, 07:43
^Hee. I've always wondered that about team sports. I'm surprised TV stations don't mind showing the congratulatory ass-slapping but get their thongs in a twist about one (not so) little nipple. Maybe TV executives are repressing their gheyish instincts themselves. ;)

- l - u - c - e -
13-10-2004, 20:30
This has prob already been said, but i cant be bothered reading them all.

Just pretty much acting as a girl when ur a dude and vice versa.
Some lesbians are feminine, some gay guys are boyish. But most act as if they are the opposite sex.

Mugz
13-10-2004, 21:42
Originally posted by MyDoorsAreOpen
Interesting responses. I ask because I was once accused of being a respessed homosexual on several occasions by several people who didn't know each other, when I expressed a really strong and embittered frustration over something that didn't meet my idealistic visions. This didn't make me happy to hear, but it rang a bell in the back of my mind that said, "yeah, I could see why a straight guy would say that." Couldn't put a finger on exactly why, but it made sense at some primal level.


ditto

Mugz
13-10-2004, 21:43
mydoorsareopen, did you make this post because you were afraid that you were being accused gay and that you had to change your behaviours so that you didnt get accused of being gay again???

Seven Deep
15-10-2004, 10:29
Later on, when he's confronted with the suspicion that he's gay, Rod sings a great little tune called "My Girlfriend, Who Lives In Canada." So that's one way to tell. ;)

I do have a girlfriend in Canada.....

no wonder everyone where I live thinks I'm gay.

FestiveCheez
15-10-2004, 10:56
Is her name Alberta, who lives in Vancouver?
Does she cook like your mother and suck like a Hoover? ;)

Sweetpea
15-10-2004, 11:11
I think a video clip of two men sucking on each other in the 69 position would help us brainstorm.

Teacher? :)

Strawberry_lovemuffin
15-10-2004, 11:29
Originally posted by Sweetpea
I think a video clip of two men sucking on each other in the 69 position would help us brainstorm.



I'm all for that idea. Porn always clarifies the thought process ;)

Pure_XTC
15-10-2004, 11:42
I think that would help me too...now what were we doing again?

<3 gay porn :o

Noodle
15-10-2004, 13:23
I'm going to reiterate what some have said.

Some of you all that haven't been out and about in one of the many gay scenes just do not understand the diversity contained within them.

I mean, do you all know how many variations of the handlebar mustache and goatee there are out there?

;)

Noodle
15-10-2004, 13:27
Therefore, by this logic, any man who can get deeply frustrated about something that doesn't involve pussy at all must not be completely batting for the same team.

Does this ring true with anyone here?


That is specious logic, at best.

PlurredChemistry
17-10-2004, 20:23
Originally posted by Sweetpea
I think a video clip of two men sucking on each other in the 69 position would help us brainstorm.

Teacher? :)

we'll start with the basics...

besides 2 guys kissing is usually much hotter than hardcore porn (tho not always)

http://www.freddyandeddy.com/menkissing/gallery01/mkpic18.jpg

mmmmm stubble....

Homework assignment! (http://www.freddyandeddy.com/menkissing/gallery01/mkgalllery1.htm)

*CrystalMeth Bunny*
18-10-2004, 02:00
Is your son gay? (http://www.ooze.com/ooze12/html/gay_quiz.html)

winterleaf17
16-10-2008, 07:04
^^^
ROFL!

I have dated or been involved with 3 represssed homosexuals, so I seem to go for them or something!

Many things are very stereotypical but still hold grains of truth, such as a lisp and excessive hand movements while talking.

The biggest sign though, hands-down, is intense homophobia, especially if combined with any 'stereotypical' traits.

hi, im kinda new here and was just investigating this topic,i need your opinions/help about some person that im starting to have doubts with.

i've been to frequent sleepovers with a bunch of us guy-friends. yet there's this one guy who just is...well, indescribable. i don't openly proclaim my orientation to them, so they don't really know yet. my actions seem a bit evident to some, but they don't mind it, thus they tease me as very girly/feminine in most ways. (which kinda makes me a gay-icon). but of course with a lot of men, they play around, doing 'gay' stuff here and there, like 'doing' each other. it just so happens that these occur in our sleepovers. i join of course, in these sexual jokes, for fun. but this guy doesn't really participate like so. plus, i think he's overtly homophobic. once, me and my friends were in a table and talking about people coming out of the closet, and, i dunno, he kinda reacted and started shuddering, and my friend who started the conversation said, "Don't be such a homophobe.", and he kinda just fell silent, but we were chuckling or something. all the other guys are okay with homos. another instance is when my friend also talked about not supporting Democrats, or something bout that, that he doesn't support gay marriage. and then all of a sudden, that homophobe im talking about just blurts out after the statement, "I am totally against gayness." more evidences?

well, since i talked about how they see me as the feminine one here, i think this homophobe thinks im a total fag. so, whenever i compliment him, or kinda massage his back or whatever kind of contact, he just slaps me hard in everywhere, although his face doesn't show it. he displays it as "karate/taekwondo". im really getting annoyed coz the slaps really hurt now. but when i do the same things to the other guys, they respond in a sexual-manner joke, again(which should be normal for guys), and they're okay with it. and when the homophobe actually finds out the next morning he got hugged by any one in his sleep, he shudders a bit too much. and then at the most random instances, he just says "I like women". of course, everyone knows that men should like women. why on earth would he have to blurt it out everytime? that's how my suspicions started. my other friend again was talking about one topic, and after he finished, the homophobe just said "I'm totally not changing my status message...'I like women'.....

so i need all the radars out there to tell me: is he a repressed homosexual? please i need confirmation...coz i still have a crush on him.

certain contradicting factors: he plays drums (well, i can be interested in playing drums too..), he can play basketball (but he never instigates it, in particular, i've yet to observe his skills on the sport. that's about the only sport he actually plays.)

reply asap plz..thanks