Friend uses too much..

Hi,

Me again! I know I post quite sporadically on this board but thought I would bring to light an issue which probably quite a few of you out there are familiar with.

First of all my background (some may remember). I had a bit of a control problem at the beginning of last year and the main part of 2002 where I did pills every wknd. Mainly because I had some awesome pilling buddies and it was so much fun. I realised that I did it too much ( not saying that every wknd is too much, it depends on the person and how much they are letting their drug use affect their lives and others) Nowadays I just do it about one wknd every 4-6 wks which suits me fine!! The high is greater, i look forward to it more, my finances are better, my concentration towards studying has increased and I have learnt to enjoy other things instead!

Now I have the problem of one of my good friends going down the wrong path. Not only does he do pills every wknd, he does everything else (soft spot for Ice) as well (sometimes during the wk). He recently went on a huge drug binge with a girl (he has now realised with everyone else that she is bad news). However he still has the friends and dealers that he met through her and he is just as bad. He has now got himself a big drug debt with a dealer and is paying him back by pushing drugs for him.

I came home yesterday night and he was had a shit load of drugs that he had to deliver. 1. I don't want to see him do this and i am worried about him. 2. I don't want that quantity of drugs in my home 3. I have new priortities now and I am sick of the way he talks about drugs all the time, its all my flatmate and i hear of!!

He is very messy and paranoid all the time and we can never get any sense out of him. It is only a matter of time before he stuffs up and ends up in huge trouble. He has let his work/career take a backseat. He is continuinally reassuring us that everything is OK, he is fine etc etc. I don't know if he is trying to convince us or himself.

i have laid down the groundrules for drugs in our home and he is smart enough to respect that...but what about the other stuff? Have no idea how to tell him, he is not going to listen. I guess its something he has to sort out for himself..

Anyone have something similar happen to a friend of theirs? Maybe you were the one who abused? What did your friends try to tell you? did you listen?

Have seen this happen over and over again, and its never an easy situation to deal with! Have lost lots of so called friends that went too hard and took too much. I think its something they have to learn for them selves, not an easy thing to watch at all....
All you can do is be there for them, and hope it dosnt come back to bite you in the ass! Moderation is the KEY word here!

(Bit of devil's advocate creeping in...) it's a V. hard situation... you were there once yourself, but now you have moved on and changed your priorities, otherwise you might not have any issues with his behaviour.

Would you have listened during 2002 if one of your friends said "hey mate, you're going too hard... knock it off"?

But in any case, regardless of your own past and treating this situation as a standalone matter - One would imagine that dealing drugs to pay for drugs can be a harsh cycle, especially if he's covering up personal use which is adding to the debt or reducing the amount paid off. He should remedy that situation asap in my opinion.

BigTrancer

Hmm yeah did have a couple of mates who tried to tell me that. I didn't listen of course. I think I learnt the hard - comedowns were getter worse, was getting bad results at uni etc. Then when I stopped I was ashamed at how I had looked to other ppl so that was even more of a deterrent. So, yeah, I guess it's something he has to learn on his own. Right now, everything is fantastic, the lifestyle is great and the people are awesome...

gazmobile said:

Hi,

Me again! I know I post quite sporadically on this board but thought I would bring to light an issue which probably quite a few of you out there are familiar with.

First of all my background (some may remember). I had a bit of a control problem at the beginning of last year and the main part of 2002 where I did pills every wknd. Mainly because I had some awesome pilling buddies and it was so much fun. I realised that I did it too much ( not saying that every wknd is too much, it depends on the person and how much they are letting their drug use affect their lives and others)

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I think ANYONE taking pills every weekend has a drug problem. And any drug counsellor will tell you the same. There is alot of people in the rave scene, (and outside the rave scene) that all lie to themself that taking pills every weekend is cool and fine. I saw alot of this in London a few years ago. It is dysfunction drug use, and will lead to depression or other fuck ups in life.

Nowadays I just do it about one wknd every 4-6 wks which suits me fine!! The high is greater, i look forward to it more, my finances are better, my concentration towards studying has increased and I have learnt to enjoy other things instead!

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Good for you. I do the same. This is function drug use, and this message should be pushed harder here and at raves. Hint, Hint, RAVE SAFE. I am going to start putting stickers at raves in the toilets saying that taking pills every weekend is fucked up. People have to stop 'being in denial' and "get with reality" as Dr. Phil would say.

Rave clubs have a lot to answer for in encouraging young people to fry their seratonin axons every weekend, especially as most of them are so hot. (Heat massively increases the damage that MDMA does to your brain).
That is why i never go to them.

Peace, Love, Unity, and mostly Respect.

I do not respect people with drug problems.

Good for you. I do the same. This is function drug use, and this message should be pushed harder here and at raves. Hint, Hint, RAVE SAFE. I am going to start putting stickers at raves in the toilets saying that taking pills every weekend is fucked up. People have to stop 'being in denial' and "get with reality" as Dr. Phil would say.

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Get off your high horse. Why aren't people allowed to take pills every weekend? It's their choice if they want to abuse thier bodies. If someone wants to abuse drugs, drop off at school/uni and live like a derro, it's thier choice. You shouldn't be an asshole and intervene, unless they ask you to or the situation is getting dangerous.

^ Dude don't wind Dr Beat up. This is the same guy that says that smoking marijuana 'down grades' your seratonin receptors...

freinds and drugs

I went thru it all my self ..taking pills every weekend .. it was like
a competition with my friends until a friend hung himself from major depression since then X has lost its appeal..Maybe only on new years or b'day parties .. and maybe at clubs.. but dont take 10 and upwards on a weekend .. it will destroy you.... too much X= depression and no one wants that do they....

stay safe peoples...

I take pills every weekend and have done for quite some time. Although in saying this it is a rare occasion that i take more than 1 on any normal fri/sat night. I can still take 1 pill and milk it for all its worth and have a hell of a time while others take 2-3 and i still outlast them.

But one thing i would never do would treat it as a "competition" such as kinglovespringles says he did when in the same boat. Competition would just drive someone to do something they wouldnt normally do thus making it a lethal game indeed.

Chubba - I agree with what you say to an extent. Yes let people be their own person. Hell, since i have started using X and the likes i feel alot better about myself and have a completely different outlook on things that i would normally just ignore or overlook. But i dont see the need to jump down the throat of someone else because they are just giving an opinion.. So they dont respect people who have "drug problems" Let them be that way, it is what you said isnt it??

Dr. Beat has no concept of what harm reduction means, evidently. RaveSafe's role is not to tell people that taking drugs is wrong, but to provide education about safer ways to use. If you put anti-drug stickers up at raves, I assure you I will pull them down again.

Oh, and BTW, it's just as likely that "any drug counsellor" will tell you that taking pills once a month constitutes a drug habit too. I think you need to "get with reality".

I concur. I have been taking about 1/2 to 1 point of meth and usually the 1 pill every weekend for the last 18months. Apparently I have a drug problem, even though I never hurt anyone, never stole anything to pay for my habit, had a hell of a good time with a bunch of great friends. Admittadle I lost my job, but that was because I was made redundant, at that was only on NYE.

But I decided the other week that I've had enough and quit drugs, and haven't touched anything, and have no desire to touch anything. So meh to him, and so much for my drug problem!!

As its been stated above this shit happens all the time. Ive found that with most people it takes one or two fuct thing to happen (losing friends is fuct, )and they will ''try'' to change there habits, but some peolple dont really give a fuck, comedowns also catch up with you after a while, especially meth imo. Id nearly be tempted to threaten to kick him out and see if its a wake up call, but this could also make things worse.

Can I just point out that there is no known safe level for consuming pills, there are levels that are thought to be fairly safe. If you consume pills at a rate that could be considered too often or too much, then it could have adverse affects on you in the future. This will be when you will crawl to the public health system for help, which is a drain on the communities resources, why should everyone else have to pay for others stupidity? The answer to that is obviously because we live in a community together, but its something worth thinking about.

To be honest there probably isn't alot you can do. Until he realises he is over doing it he will just think you are against him not actually trying to help.

Just be there when he changes his mind (if he ever does), if you can be bothered to wait that is.

Yeah totally agree with you Notneo..

nickthecheese said:

^ Dude don't wind Dr Beat up. This is the same guy that says that smoking marijuana 'down grades' your seratonin receptors...

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why dont you go and do some research ?

because it is true that marijuana DOES down grade your seratonin receptors, especially the 5ht 2a receptors. Phase dancer put up a page just on this topic a few months ago.

Marijuana also lowers testosterone.

Marijuana smoked everyday also down grades dopamine receptors, and is why in my experience big dope smokers get less high on pills than non smokers.

Go to any rehab and watch how fucking angry hard core smokers are when they go cold turkey.

I work in a rehab and see the results of long term smoking.

It is not a harmless 'herb' even if the majority of people smoking dope everyday are in 'denial' about their drug problem.

In my opinion, only 'dopes' smoke 'dope'.

Have a nice day.

Just went through this myself recently... my advice... tell them straight that what they are doing is stuffed up. They won't like it, and will probably acuse you of 'judging' them and so forth. Take it on the chin.

Then, let them go - only see them in non drug-setting, in situations where drug conversations would be inappropiate (trust me, they are easy to engineer). They'll avoid you for a while, especially if they are angry at you for 'judging' them, but eventually they will wake up to themselves and thankyou for being so honest when no-one else was.

That can take a while to get to that stage... but at the end of the day, it's YOUR social enviroment. Who do you want hanging around you? i love positive, freindly, yet focused people - which is I recently told a 'friend' that he was becoming unwelcome at our social events - because he is only socialble when smashed, and his usual reply to most people convesation is:

" i don't care"

Which is a really good way to endear yourself to people - NOT! - the point being, he didn't gel with the people that are important to me, and yes, although he was important, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few (or one). I think the *mistake* i made with this guy, was comparing him to a friend who has recently just started mending his ways after doing almost exactly what you described - dealing to pay debts etc etc... they'll come around when THEY see the light, the situation, for how it really is.... until then, stick to your morals, be honest and hope they see things the same way, if not....

is it a loss?

He's stuck in a situation where he need to visits his supplier to collect stock to sell, each day spends time with drug users and has large amounts of cheaply priced drugs in the house. Plus, he probably wants to escape the pressure relating to needing money. I imagine that situation is not ideal for cutting down drug use, the cycle will go on.

When you factor in the increase in personal drug use and paranoia, dealing doesn't seem like 'easy money.' To break the cycle, I think he needs to make the money back outside of the drug scene. Once drugs don't need to be a part of his daily life(dealing), it'd probably make it a lot easier to cut back on his personal use. I'm afraid I've got no idea how you could go about convincing him of that though

Thought I would share...Got a friend in a similar condition...was a big part of our group when we went raving and was always out with us when we hit it every couple of weeks. We had this awesome crew of about 12 people who always went out had a good time and looked after one another.
The problem is this went on for about most of a year and we all grew up abit. The constant cycle of going out coming down and working to go out got dull.
We still go out but its like every 4-8 weeks...big events... special nites out.
We all lead normal lives and when the situation warrants it we head out and go hard..
Our friend however he takes it to the extreme... when we all get over it sunday morning all he wants to do is keep going. He will take more and only admit he is still rolling when someone confronts him and asks.
He will always take more than us during a nite and want to talk people into more the next day.
It reached a point where his single minded obsession with pills means he went looking for other friends to roll with. He would leave non drug normal social events to go out rolling with people he didnt really know.
We all made comments to him about slowing down...taking time off and just letting his body recuprate but he says one thing but does another...then lies to us about whether he went out or not.
He is hanging out with young kandi ravers far younger than him and its honestly starting to look embarressing.

Everyone on here has given pretty good advice and we have pretty much done what everyone said...just used some common sense... We have told him our thoughts and then left him his own space...
We have to wait see if he can come to his own senses...
I still talk to him all the time via the web and phone and keep communication open but I have to cut him short when he starts talking about partying and chemicals as I dont want to encourage him.

Big Kudos to everyone on here for their thoughts and play safe peoples...

Off-topic

In my opinion, only 'dopes' smoke 'dope'.

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Heh.