This will only hurt for a second...

I'm speaking of responsibility.

I am lazy, I have been as long as I can remember. I don't like doing anything I perceive as being a chore, and I put such things off as long as possible (sometimes a little longer). It is like work is anything you are supposed to do, and play is anything else. So doing the dishes, doing laundry, cleaning, paying bills, exercising, all seems like a chore and I strongly resist such things. Like, in doing a chore rather than playing, I am experiencing a kind of emotional pain, a sense of being downtrodden and forced into slave labor by the various necessities of life.

This would make it seem like being rich enough to afford a maid, a butler, a cook, a personal shopper, etc., would all be ways to do fewer chores myself, have more time for play.

But I noticed something a couple days ago. It is that the emotional pain I feel when I have to do a chore only exists during the time span from recognizing the chore needs to be done, to actually starting on the chore. As soon as I resolve to do the chore and start working on it, there is no sense of burden, of emotional pain, of bondage to the necessities of life. Rather, I feel good about getting something done that needs to be done.

As an example, I was reading and noticed the dishes needed to be done before my parents came over. Now that became a burden to me, mentally. But because I did not have time to screw off, I started doing the dishes immediately. And the moment I picked up the first dish and started doing it, the burden was gone. I was thinking how best to do the dishes, how to solve the various problems that came up, like a cup with a coffee stain that was dried onto it. And this process of problem solving was no less rewarding and enjoyable than, say, when I am problem solving while playing a video game. In short, I enjoyed DOING the dishes. The painful part was only deciding to do the dishes.

Thinking back on it, it is this way for a lot of stuff. I put off paying bills until finally I have to sit down and sort through them and deal with them. Once I start that process, I actually enjoy organizing everything, seeing the stack shrink, etc. The painful part of paying bills only exists during the time before I actually start.

I realize that in my mind, I had sort of an inflated sense of how unpleasant chores are. Like if it take 30 minutes to do the dishes, I would think, "I don't want to be doing something unpleasant for 30 mintues" so I would put off doing the dishes. But now I realize that it is only unpleasant for the 30 seconds I am resolving to do the dishes and thinking about what I might rather be doing if I did not have to do the dishes. But the 29 minutes and 30 seconds I am actually DOING the dishes is not unpleasant at all.

I suppose this makes sense, because I think human pleasure comes in large part from accomplishing stuff. It does not matter what it is. Watching a movie, finishing a book, completing a video game, climb a mountain, or cleaning the kitchen. Life is just a bunch of stuff to accomplish, and no matter what we are accomplishing, we can enjoy it just the same. The only difference is whether the moments leading up to doing the thing are filled with hopeful expectation or painful regret about what is to coime next.

So, now I realize that the only unpleasant part of doing the dishes is the amount of time it takes me to actually start doing the dishes, which could be as brief as a couple seconds if I don't procrastinate. Hopefully this means I will now procrastinate less. Because I am not putting off 30 minutes of unpleasantness, but only a few seconds of unpleasantness, and a few seconds of unpleasantness is a lot easier to face than 30 minutes of unpleasantness.

~psychoblast~

I agree.

And I'll go further and say that the emotional burden my friends and loved ones feel the need to bear upon my lazy self is much heavier than any weight I might think I feel while procrastinating about one more, or a series of chores.

Totaly with you on this one. A couple years ago when i was living in a share house (4 bedroom) with 8 people living there no-one did anything. We lived in filth. EVeryone was on dugs and the house was fucking crazy. When we moved out we had to hire a dump truck to take out all the crap from the house, we had to throw all our dishes out because they had become unwashable, we were scared of the rubbish pile in the kitchen cause we let people with hep-c shoot up and dump their needles their, we had to get the place recarpeted because the carpet had started to mold and there was paint all over it from peopel inhaling paint in the lounge room etc. This was when I was 16-17. Now, my memory of that is enough to stop my current residense i share with my gf ever becomming like that again.

Like you i used to just about fear doing a chore. I could sit around for 3 hours in complete boredom with nothing to do, but still not get up and do the dishes. But i realised what it was that i hated about chores. Its was all the putting it off. As soon as is started seizing the moment, i actually started enjoying doing my chores. THat is to say, as soon as the thought pops into my head that "hey, that needs doing", instead of thinking to myself "yeah, ill do that later" and then spend the rest of my day unhappy thinking about the chore im going to have to do. I just get up and do it.

And i can say, any type of chore at all can be fun. But you have to be aware of what your doing and view it as something that is positive not a "chore". Cooking is probably the best example, i absolutely love cooking now, i used to hate, but now i love the creative power in cooking. I love inventing new things to eat and i love to see the look on my gf's face when i create something thats really good. But to enjoy cooking i need a clean kitchen and washed dishes. So i enjoy cleaning the kitchen and washing the dishes because i know i will reap the benifits from it. I enjoy vacuming the lounge because i love the feeling of having a clean lougne room, so much good energy. I remember when i used to walk into the house of filth i was instantly depressed, no matter what state of mind i was in before i opened the door. And the sense of achievment i get from keeping a clean house is great, its good to actually feel good about what you've done and not be ashamed of your dwelling.

And it applies to everything you do in life, just seize the moment, live the moment. That doesn't mean act like a complete dickhead either. It justs means enjoy each moment of your life. So if your at work, don't spend the whole 8 horus or what ever wishing you were somewhere else, cause you just wasted 8 horus of your life then being unhappy. Just put on a smile, keep working and get into it, try and get a sense of enjoyment knowing your in someway helping something. Factory-job production line stuf can be a very hard job to enjoy, as often your treated like machinery and if you dont have good company around you, it can get very depressing. If your in this type of job, just quit, no-ones stopping you, you might only have this 1 life here on earth, make something out of it; ie- spend your time here on eath being happy. Same goes for homework, before i dropped high school i used to waste whole weekends by not doing my homework until the night before it was due(or after or never ), as a concequence every other night i spent putting it off and having no fun because i knew it had to be done. Now, ive started a course doing something i enjoy and i do my homework when it occurs to me to do it. Then i can really enjoy the rest of my weekend because theres no thought at the back of my mind saying "you know you should be doing your homework right now".

So my message is; Enjoy life, take enjoyment in everything you do. Learn to see the beauty in all people, animals, plants, minerals, in all of life there is beauty. When you start to realise this you can't help but love every moment of your life just for the sheer amazing beauty of it all. We take to much for granted in this day and age. I know so many people here in Australia who bitch about their lives and sit around depressed and all i can say to them when they moan about what a shitty life they've had and they're parents abused them as kids etc, is "Wake up, your in one of the luckiest countries in the world, theres millions of people all over the globe who'd trade their life for yours without a second thought". Life is far to precious to be spent depressed, focusing in the things in life that you dont have and the occurences you dont like. Far to many people try their hardest to see the negative in everything. We need more optimists, try just walking around for a day with a massive grin on your face, see the humour in EVERY situation. Enjoy the things you DO have.

Be HAPPY. Put on a SMILE. LOVE everything. Do your fucken chores you sissy !

edit: Procrastination is almost the biggest waste of life accross the (western??) world.

Holy shit pb im exactly the same, ive only recently just been getting my act together, doing things for myself etc, the only thing that pisses me off though is when the stuff i do goes un-noticed, and i end up gettin criticised anyway, you ever got that? But now I just decide to do shit like that cos it makes things a lot easier in the end, though there's still the odd time i feel to lazy to get my ass up and do a so-called chore lol

PB...all i take from your post is that you've reduced the time that you are unhappy from (1) however many minutes or hours or days that you'd spend worrying about doing a chore, to (2) just the few seconds you worry, between the time you realize a task needs to be done, to the time you start doing it. right?

well, why not reduce the moments of unhappiness to ZERO? just stop thinking about things that need to be done. ignore everything. then you'll have NONE of those unpleasant seconds.

really, this is an argument for getting the made, cook, personal shopper. with their help, you CAN ignore everything and not have toxic waste growing in your sink.

you all sound like some fucking losers

^yeah, I think psychoblast has just had a growing pain.

dpuerto said:

you all sound like some fucking losers

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Yeah you sound like a real winner. And from what i gather from everyone else's replies to your posts in every other thread on BL, its a pretty general feeling accross the board.

dpuerto said:

you all sound like some fucking losers

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we are all now 10% dumber for reading your post.

Haywire:

No, you missed the part about enjoyment of life being in the accomplishments, whatever they may be. If you get a maid and so don't spend a few hours enjoying accomplishing various cleaning tasks, you will either (1) sit around bored and unhappy with nothing to do, or (2) find something else to accomplish. But even if you do #2, the sense of accomplishment will not be any more satisfying than you would have gotten from the cleaning tasks.

Meaning, I enjoy doing the dishes as much as playing a video game. The only difference in the two forms of accomplishment was that, prior to actually starting the dishes, I would make myself unhappy by viewing it as an unpleasant task even though, when it comes right down to it, it was NOT unpleasant to do, only unpleasant to convince myself to do.

See, my post is also about the false, but common, view that free times equals happiness. If, instead, you recognize happiness as being able to accomplish stuff then, to some extent, happiness is unrelated to free time. Quite a reversal from the perception that pervades materialistic America.

It all comes down to the basic idea of people looking for happiness in the wrong places, and thus never finding fulfillment, and spending their whole lives running on a treadmill chasing some elusive idea of happiness they can never quite catch (or, if they do catch it, that they cannot hold onto for long.)

I mean, is happiness the act of fishing or the slippery fish that is hard to hold onto and will soon be rotten and smelly even if you do hold onto it?

~psychoblast~

dpuerto said:

you all sound like some fucking losers

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As someone whose existence seems to revolve around nothing but making inane posts in SLR, you really have no room to be calling anyone a loser.

Actually i thought it was a very good post and i totally agree wit hit. The best thing about the post is that i never realized that this was happening to me untill reading the post. Thanks PB

*heads off to do the huge list of things i have been putting off doing*

You might be interested to know PB that at the temple i go to too practise Tian Tao the master their gave up being a multi-billion dollar property investor to devote he's life to the Tao, he gave them all he's propertys, spent the money buying temples all over the world etc. He is a very happy person who spends a lot of he's time praying, helping others and spreading the Tao. But that wasn't quite what i wanted you to know, what i thought is similar to what your talking about is that at these temples all over the world, these people that practise Tao, including Billionaire/Millionaire business people take time out to clean toilets, mow lawns, wash dishes, mop floors, etc in the various temples, refuges, nursing homes, etc. They devote their life to good deeds and in return they are filled with the joy of these accomplishments. They are some of the nicest, HAPIEST and most open people i have ever met. Some of them are rich/poor/etc but no matter what walk of life they come rfom they are all HUMBLE. They will all bow to each other.

ALso, just thought i might add, out of my excitement. There is a massive temple for the Tao in taiwan and the group i prayer with goes on an annual/twice-annual trip there and if anyone wants to come along from the temple they are welcome, the only thing to pay is the air fare. Other than that 2 weeks free accomadation, food and sight seeing. And the photos of the temple and the scenery around it are breath-taking.

Some of the greatest joys of this world come from helping others, helping the enviroment and even helping yourself(And by that i mean self love, eating healthy, etc). Never underestamate the joy of accomplishment. Good deed DO NOT go unrewarded. Most spiritual/religious fanatics will state that good deeds are your meaning of life down here on earth.

Peace and Love to everyone on this forum


Remember to put on a smile

psychoblast said:

But I noticed something a couple days ago. ~psychoblast~

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Wow thats cool but do you think you could look at it on a deeper level? I mean not only what your doing, but why your doing it. How and why did you get into this behaviour pattern and do you do a similar thing with other areas, I mean, not just to say your lazy, but to percieve the benefits you may feel you get from it, how it makes you feel and more importantly, where did it originate? Dont know if its applicable in this situation, but looking at the source of stuff is a good way of breaking out of it. There is usually a reason behind the things we do.

no PB. i think i was right....

or do i?

...in response to the original post...

I've never been able to put a finger on it, or why I do it, but I always procrastinate like yourself. Also, like yourself, I hate every single second that I am procrastinating. Lately though, I've been in a good mood and started doing my "chores" a lot quicker than usual. They seem to be enjoyable and come a lot easier.

...I just didn't know how to put my feelings or thoughts into words. Thank you for doing so. :D

dpuerto said:

you all sound like some fucking losers

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Aren't you supposed to be going to gaol or some shit? I wish they'd lock your sorry arse up already 8(

^Couldn't agree more... Why even read this part of BL if you aren't open minded??

In response to pb, I agree with what you are saying but I never looked at it that way. Might have to change from being lazy? Hmmm maybe later.

i see no benifit to this thread in continuing to respond to dpuerto.

The older I get, the less I hate the little chores of the day. My Saturdays are set aside for washing dishes and clothes and cleaning, and I put on some music I like and make everything all neat and pretty, and actually get a sense of pride from it all. I'm not sure if this is possibly something that is more related to being a female (the idea of housekeeping as a reflection of your own worth) or just being a little more responsible in general, but if I miss this weekly cleaning due to other things i have to do, or a hangover or just sleeping in, then I feel less able to face the next week. I don't take care of my things because I have to, but because somewhere along the way I realized that I like to, and they last longer when I do. I *own* these things...perhaps not the carpet and apt, but the dishes and the bedroom furniture and the clothes...and my hard-earned money paid for them. If I don't take care of them, no one else will, and they won't last as long and I'll have to buy new stuff. I think this is the kind of thought that parents wish they could beat into your head when you are 16, but it's certainly something I appreciate now.