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would you date someone with low self esteem and self confidence

Yes, and I would again. If I didn't I'd be a hypocrite for wanting someone to date me.

I don't believe in the line of thinking that no one can love you if you don't love yourself, I think it's based on absolutely nothing and I hate the mentality.

Personally, I'd rather date people who have self esteem problems, cause I do, and I can't relate to people that love themselves.

Screwed up attracted screwed up I guess.

I've been with my boyfriend who has low self esteem for nearly 5 years and I'm still as in love as ever. Can't love someone who doesn't love themselves my ass.
 
Everyone has self-esteem and confidence issues with the exception of narcissists. If I said no, I'm basically saying no one is dateable. When dating someone with issues of the self doesn't work out, it tends to be because they are also emotionally unavailable. The combination creates quite the poison.
 
I would love to say yes, but I have spent 1 night and morning with a really insecure girl and it was extremely exhausting. I felt like it was my duty to tell her she was wrong whenever she talked belittling of herself. Next to that, she asked me if I was enjoying her company 500 times and whenever I complimented her on something, she questioned it.
 
I think it would be quite difficult because I don't think I could give him that much attention and image boosting all the time. Also, I think people need to be happy with themselves BEFORE getting into a relationship. I couldn't handle having someone constantly asking for reassurance. I give out compliments and attention but that would be a lot.
 
I think the most important thing is how the insecure person in question deals with his/hers low self-esteem and insecurities.

The woman mentioned by Learntyoung would be a pain in the ass to be around but I know for a fact that some people can have severe problems in this department without having the need for other people to validate their very being on a continual basis.

I could also use myself as an example as I definately have some problems in this department. It is one of the reasons why I suffer from periodic depression and severe social anxiety but I don't need anyone to validate me all the time. I would take constructive criticism over a complement any day of the week. The former I can actually use to better myself and/or my skills, while a complement would most likely be aimed at something that I already know that I am good at. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want people to acknowledge me for what I am or for whatever skills I might have, it's just not very usefull, it doesn't really yield anything.

I believe that A LOT of people have problems in this department, it's just that most people don't acknowledge this for what it really is. Just take a look around Facebook!
Lots of people, hopelessly fishing for likes or positive comments, often for doing nothing worth any kind of applause.
These people feed on this stuff and through stuff like Facebook, they can get their daily fix instead of having to do it face to face and risking annoing the shit out of their friends.
It's an epidemic, at it's spreading fast, so watch out!
 
Yes in fact I would prefer it.

Being that way myself I'd rather be with someone that knows what I'm feeling.
 
It depends on whether I could see them coming through it or not whilst we're together, and whether I believed we would still be a match once they reach their peak. I was with someone for almost three years who had terrible issues about appearance, weight, what she wore, and other things (like rape..).. and seeing her overcome all of those thanks to the safe space and encouragement I gave her was really uplifting. Would I do it again? Probably not. It takes a lot of effort and investment to do that.. something I would rather reserve for established close friends and future family.

Of course it also depends what level of insecurity we're talking here. I could work with most women, just so long as they don't reassurance every 5 minutes about something. I mean everyone has some level of insecurity and confidence issues.
 
Sourtulip said:
I think the most important thing is how the insecure person in question deals with his/hers low self-esteem and insecurities.
Click to expand...

I don't have much experience with dating insecure people, but I definitely feel as if the severity of someone's low self-esteem is the true concern here.
 
If that's what your into then go for it! Personally, I think being with someone like that would get tiresome and annoying eventually. It all depends on your personality and preferences.
 
I have before, both women and men who are like this. It was odd in a lot of ways.

At first I did not know these people are like this, so it's not like I sought them out because they have low self esteem or other issues.
 
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I have low self esteem, OCD and BDD. Haven't been in a relationship for years up until a year ago. I consonantly find myself putting myself down a lot. My lady always reassures me I'm fine. I do it so much it gets on my own nerves. I sometimes do fear she will leave me because of it. At times my illness is so bad I truly believe I meant to be alone. Either way everyone deserves a chance. Its not fair to count someone out that suffers from those things.
 
Of course. If I like this person I will be with her no matter how she behaves. People with low self esteem are normal people like most of us but given the circumstances, they can change.

People grow differently when they feel loved. When treated with care, accepted by those who love you..or with those they could feel comfortable with. It may take some time or not.

Great if you feel well with that person. With time things between you both can balance and behaviour change is mostly to do with who you are and how you are treated. Sometimes it's good if one of you have sex issues for instance.

Between both of you, that won't matter as you will soon become very spontaneous with each other.
Why not?
 
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stovepipe said:
I have low self esteem, OCD and BDD. Haven't been in a relationship for years up until a year ago. I consonantly find myself putting myself down a lot. My lady always reassures me I'm fine. I do it so much it gets on my own nerves. I sometimes do fear she will leave me because of it. At times my illness is so bad I truly believe I meant to be alone. Either way everyone deserves a chance. Its not fair to count someone out that suffers from those things.
Click to expand...

So don't put yourself down!! That's entirely up to you. Treat yourself with love and respect.
You own this. Suggest you look for a therapist if you really can't. You'll be okay quite fast imo.

It's all up to you, and of course that coming to understand why you are like that will definitely change things.
 
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