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Wife has no sex drive all the sudden

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Billnyetheguy

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 31, 2017
Messages
9
My wife of 8 years has lost interest in sex. We use to passionately make love but now she just sticks her ass up for doggy or lays there damn near emotionless, no foreplay or kissing. I'm lucky to even get that experience once every 3 months. She's 30 and I'm starting to think she's fucking someone . is that wrong of me? She did message an ex boyfriend for friendly chat when we first got married but she claims it was just nothing and said she hast talked to him or anyone since. I love her and I just wann make love, not sex to my wife
 
Hi,

I am really sorry that your sex life has taken a dive with your wife. Obviously, something is going on and you need to talk with her about this. Hopefully, she will be willing to do that. If not, then you two need to see a therapist. If she will not go, then you go. It will help you a lot regardless if she goes with you or not. Good luck with this, and I hope this gets straightened out soon.
 
Nope she shuts down and gets mad when I bring it up seen like something I should be allowed to discuss without her getting mad. I'm honestly starting to think divorce is the answer but for some reason I love this woman like no other
 
Hi Again,

I really sorry that she shuts down and gets mad. Not very adult on her part. If she refuses to deal with this issue with you, you probably need to tell her that her behavior is not going to fly and that she is leaving you no choice but to contemplate divorce. See what she says to that. Not likely she will say anything to that either. If she does not respond, then, I would get yourself to a therapist and talk this through with someone before chucking this relationship. You might learn something about yourself and/or her that may give you some insight into what might be going on here. I am not surprised that you still love her, since you indicated that things have been good up until recently. My very best to you and my sincerest sympathy to what you are going through.
 
Pragmatically the only way a faithful spouse contracts an STD is by not making a reasonable attempt to satisfy their higher libido partner. You can turn down 1000 opportunities to cheat, but no one is perfect with unlimited strength or will.

You may have some culpability in this (we will never know her side of the story) but assuming you are not at fault you should make it very clear that she has the power to bring you more pleasure than anyone or anything in this world. She can process that info as she sees fit and you in turn can process and react to what she does with that info.
 
Just to add one more point. Sex was a very important bonding and imprinting mechanism early on in the relationship. People lose sight of the fact that the knots tying this bond need reinforcement throughout the entire relationship as long as one partner has a sex drive. Surely all partners will always have a need for physical intimacy. If not, then there are other issues at play that need sorting out.
 
Yeah just be upfront with her about what's going on. Don't be judgemental or demanding, just try to ask her whats up you know?
 
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