why would a girl stay with a guy that treats her like absolute shit

[mad man]

I am absolutely in love with a girl that I have know for some time now. During this time I have been separated from my wife our divorce is almost complete. That pretty much is my fault and my really bad drug habit at the time. Anyway no kids involved on her part they have separate bed rooms he even calls her a whore n shit like that just cause he can

 

[Hurhel]

Wow.
I wonder why she allows that ?
Low self esteem ?

Is goIng through a divorce difficult ?

Sorry about you and your wife.

 

[Ligaturd]

People accept the love they think they deserve. It's a self esteem thing. Another very important factor to take into account is the relationships they witnessed their parents in. The ways their parents treated each other can cause a subconscious tendency to seek out similar relationships. They learn that is what love is. It destroys people. A woman can enter into a physically or emotionally abusive relationship later in life, even with witnessing healthy relationships as a child and get abused woman syndrome. A man can slowly degrade a woman and damage their sense of self worth and make them feel as if they don't deserve any better or that they deserve such treatment. It is like a plague in my family and it's so hard to watch. There is quite literally nothing you can do if it gets bad enough, except be there for support and encouragement when they are ready to leave the relationship. Sometimes the woman can get extremely defensive of their abuser if a male outside of their relationship confronts the abuser.

It is also worth noting that this happens to men as well or even in gay or lesbian relationships. It's just that the vast majority of human beings are straight so there are more instances of male on female domestic abuse.

 

[Airmid]

There could be many reasons why this woman decides to stay, reasons that you are not privy to. You are only a spectator from I gather from your post and plenty probably goes on 'behind' the situation you see. It's quite possibly a love/hate relationship that they are content to endure. She may be or feel obligated to stay with him for who knows what reason. Someone once said to me don't even try to rationalize something that is irrational, it will drive you crazy.

 

[Noodle]

That post resonates with truth on so many levels.

It is easy to gloss over the fact that relationships have dynamics that can not easily be seen from the outside looking in.

ALSO: Spot on about growing up and falling into a pattern set in motion by a child's parents.

 

[llama112]

A lot of people have low self esteems. It's hard to really help them out. Therapy and whatnot can help. But how do you convince someone to go there... that's an issue in itself.
It's so sad to see those relationships though

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Yeah, I agree with the above posters. It sounds super rough and it must kill you to know that she's treated so horribly... but all you can do is just support her and be there for her. She needs to come to her own conclusions.

 

[pofacedhoe]

A lot of people have low self esteems. It's hard to really help them out. Therapy and whatnot can help. But how do you convince someone to go there... that's an issue in itself.
It's so sad to see those relationships though

my mums friend from when she was younger (20's) had a sister and the parents always spoiled the sister, so my mums friend ended up with men that treated her badly as she had learned thats how she should be treated, in the end she got a lovely man but 20 years spent with a dickhead parasite after having a baby by a different man that the sister "stole" from her while she was pregnant with his baby. wow

be good to your children or they will accept assholes into their life like angels

 

[Bagseed]

A lot of people have low self esteems. It's hard to really help them out. Therapy and whatnot can help. But how do you convince someone to go there... that's an issue in itself.
It's so sad to see those relationships though

yeah that's it. if somebody with extremely low self esteem gets treated badly, they get, in some ways, confirmation of how they feel about themselves. damn irrational feelings

 

[Noodle]

I would like to add that men and women both stay in abusive or others kinds of toxic relationship because they sometimes think it can be repaired. They might also believe the relationship should continue because they care deeply for the other person.

Same sex relationships aren't much different in those respects, imo.