Mental Health Why is my brain and body fighting stop hard to fail?

[xxsicknessxx]

So my problems simple I think. I had a great injury five years ago crossing the street homeless to go smoke my pipe and a truck hit me. I spent six months in the hospital. Two years later I'm I guess recovered except I'm so not doing good. Basically I had lost track of things doctor's said I need to do and at a result of not eating right and doing meth my heart stopped. So six months later now I'm sober for the first time sense 19 and I feel better.

I'm doing a lot better. But this last week my entire body feels tingly, my mouth and tounge tingle. In a bad reminds me strait up of ox withdrawal. I can't sleep well, all my normal health problems are twice as bad right now and my last blood test has some elevated stuff in worried about but my real concern is I've been tempted by drugs again, can't not think about it. My sister does h and meth so maybe it's her fault not she's not to blame for me wanting to hurt myself or kill my self. This is my question.
Do to the time of year I'm just extra worried I might crack. Because I gotta say I feel like there's so real way to get help. I want to go too the hospital and be watched for two weeks and have every blood tests done I can right now I'm scared I'm dying I'm scared all the time inn worried about my family dying my sister being hurt my brother over dosing.

It's from second I get up to time I go to bed my brains being a dick.

But maybe. I take over seen a day and two Ambien a week. Could either of these situations cause problems? I also take pain meds for feet pain and have considered turning my self into a mental hospital to take a break from all my medications I take like 16 pills a day mostly just nutrition stuff and I try to check everything myself.

I just dunno where to turn to be sure I'm really getting better. It's not I don't believe my doctor's telling me to not stress it's just i think maybe my brain injury which has been really making my life hard my memory has been so bad but..

I dunno if I really even have memory problems I mean I do but and doctor's say I do but I feel like it's new and that's codifying to my doctor's too who think it's been sense my accident ave they think I'm just wrong. I think it happened in the last six months but they disagree.

My issue my doctor's make me feel like I'm bothering them and I want a new doctor's who specializes in worrying to much? I've talked to psychiatrist a few times. They really just tell me don't worry until you need to worry like be aware at all times but also don't worry if your worried.

WTF! I also can't quit weed so I just be crazy right? I quit meth I can't quit weed but.. I'm trying I dunno no one needs to reply I just can do so little I'm so weak so tired and I've been working hard for two years to get better I just want to feel normal...


All I wanted my entire life. I don't feel normal.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

They really just tell me don't worry until you need to worry like be aware at all times but also don't worry if your worried.

They still playin the same ol record, hunh? lol I love the wording.
From a distance it seems your mind is healing but the body is failing. Is this anywhere accurate? If not maybe it is I who am in this situation. IDK. Guess it's a thing.
It's a little depressing thinking of leaving this shell behind right when I think I got some shit figured out. There is a little comfort in knowing that what I think I know is most probably absolutely nothing so maybe it's all a futile chase to be "better".