• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

why do i do stupid shit on benzos

A

aden20338

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 28, 2016
Messages
6
Have done xanax like 2 times and that was a long while ago... I picked up two 2mg clonazepams and took 2 of them. Took the first one felt a little bit then *benzo retardation* told me to take the other. So I jump onto a buss with my Friends going who knows where, and I meet up with this gay dude whos pretty chill but weird af. We go to someones house, I receive a samwich (thank god). We run out of cigarettes so somehow we are at this like shopping center. We are just chillin and Im talking to my freinds freinds and we got good vibes going down. I say should i go steal some fuckin deslem. they were like ur too fucked up bruh. Im like oh yea I should then. I think it was the small purple deslem bottle but idk. Idk how i even stole it. Then I came back and chugged the whole thing. THEN I GO TO MY REHAB. I get an uber, no idea what happend in there. I smoke a cig when I get out of uber and decide im hungry. I go to albertsons, grab dry noodles and walk out not even concealing it, I go into rehab and they r watching a movie and I have NO clue what happened during the movie. I was to busy sitting or laying down, I think this was the dxm kicking in. I spilt the cooked ramen all over me and luckly the movie lasted most of the time. I didn't like the combo cause I didn't know how fucked up I was. THEN I decide I should get a ride to my freinds house to play music, we chill then we go and see sausage party, apperently was deded, but parents didnt notice. After movie I got a ride home, I whent upstairs and fell into bed, idk what happened from there.
I hope my rehab didn't notice!!!
Also I was drugtested and I pour fake pee in the cup but a small part of me is afraid I actually peed in it cause I was too fucked up.
All IN ALL FUCK BENZOS
Never had a noteworthy experience and tbh I couldnt watch the movie or do anything really, benzos just make me dead inside, not sociable, artistic, and wonderful feeling.

Its hard cause most people think dxm,shrooms,lsd,painkillers and shit like that is weird and wack when really benzos fucking suck. Tbh when with not close freinds booze+weed, with close freinds shrooms + LSD. :) I hope to get some light trypamines and take recreational doses of them in these events. Also kpin last so fucking long Im still high and I took them yesterday. Well shit.... I can't say I had a bad time but seems like a waste of money and time (as I don't remeber it)
 
damnn i hella feel that tho, I've done xanax twice (with 60 bars on me) and shit did not turn out good. First time for me was during school and i was only taking ONE. too bad i didn't know that you physically can't just take one. ended up throwing up all over my self and looking this hot girl in the eyes saying "i jus threw up all over myself" while the entire class looks at me. Then i wake up and its 7:30 at night and I'm in the school library.

#2: i had 90mg adderall, 6mg xanax, 900mg tramadol. started off with 15mg addy, then 300mg tramadol and 2.5mg xanax. was so fucked up that i couldn't keep track of a monopoly game and every turn i got really confused and ended up falling asleep. my twin brother and I had community service in the morning from the first experience and i woke up even more fucked up than the night before and apparently SWEARED that i needed 30mg addy to get up. this caused me to OD as my face was pale/green and i couldn't move and PAINFULLY throwing up DARK green/black shit. My parents had to carry me up the stairs to the couch where i would lay for 48hrs not moving feeling like straight shit. Also, apparently i woke up in the middle of the night i guess because there was throw up on some tennis rackets in the corner of my room... ONLY on the rackets, not on the carpet or anything. and apparently hid little collectable toys all over the house.

-FUCK BENZOS
 
As you said, you don't remember it and that's why you're doing stupid shit. I guess you're getting too high and blacking out. Your actions are incongruous for somebody currently in rehab. I would take this more seriously before you wind up in real trouble. I'm going to close this as it reads more like a blog, which when you reach 50 posts, you can blog away. Be safe!
 
Benzos are a nightmare for this, they're just too damn efficient at removing inhibitions. They turn me into a completely different person. It really is like being possessed, particularly because I never remember the dodgy shit I get up to when I'm high on them.

I like to think myself a decent person (a little dodgy but my heart is in the right place). Benzos totally change that, and were the catalyst for far too many of my clashes with the police. I got a criminal record because of my benzo fuelled self. Being stuck in a cell waiting to be interviewed whilst going into xanax wd is no fun, let me tell you.

So - all in all benzos came from Satan himself. Steer clear!
 
Let me second everything Jonxx just said. They do indeed turn you into a completely different person (similar to, dare I say, how you get when you're drunk. . .).
 
Last edited by a moderator:
haha. This is the funniest post I have seen on this site in a while. Hmmm. Benzos in a large amount do create cleptomania in my case. I also talk mad shit and look like a fool.
 
When I take too many benzos I turn into a sadistic bully. Tell depressed people to go kill themselves and laugh, think about beating up homeless people and hurt kittens. Complete 180 personality lol
 
Have you considered why you are in rehab while you are still actively engaging substances? Benzos can cause amnesia on thier own - be very careful mixing them - there are some combinations that are quite fatal. Benzos are not benign, harmless pills, I sincerely hope you take them more seriously in the future. I am glad that you are okay, and I am also glad that you had this experience early on because I think that's a great lesson on how benzos work, and I'm happy that you didn't suffer serious consequences. So many people get into trouble with benzos, either with physical harm or get arrested because they are operating in a state of black out.

How did it go with rehab, did they notice or find out?
 
quit rehab

stop taking up a place that could go to people who are desperate to get into rehab.. you dont seem to give two shits about getting and saying clean so stop wasting your time and all your counsellors time and let someine ready for real help take your place

<snip> Moreaux
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I think you do stupid ass shit because xans are anxiety medicine so you have zero worries about anything you do and on top of that you are super fucked up without realizing how fucked up you are or you might be blacked out not even aware of the things you are doing. I was in class one time blacked out off 5+ xans running around my table. Then my homie gave me some water cause i was pale as fuck in the face and i was making drinking motions with my mouth but just pouring the water all over myself. Then i ran into a wall and threw up... yea fuck xans. I didn't remember anything after the first bar kicked in early in the school day so it's just like I'm chill in class off one bar and then BOOM it's 7:00 at night and my vision is hella blurry and double and i have a slight feeling that i got caught up because of the way my mom was acting. I still thought i only took one bar... next thing i know i'm suspended and when i go back to school i have to go to disciplinary school across the street as an alternative of being expelled. I'm lucky i didn't have any bars on me when i was caught (i don't know what the fuck happened to them. i had 30). But now for 10th grade my parents are making me go to "virtual school" at home because they don't think i can handle myself in a public school. lmao shit sucks but it's whatever. Still to this day i have never heard a "successful" xanax story. Moral of story: Don't think you can just take one bar when u have a stash. Better yet, don't do them at all. If you do, you WILL start eating them like chips completely unaware of what you are doing.
 
Also i forgot to add the next few days i felt weird in the head and kinda shitty overall. Didn't have much of an appetite either.
 
^ I know my son used to say that almost every bad decision he made was one he made on benzos. And I think you are exactly right about both the removal of anxiety as well as the black-out state being responsible for that.

A quick aside: instead of making a double post you can always go in and edit your post if you think of something you want to add.;)
 
Because benzos eliminate anxiety.my definition of anxiety is unfocused fear..fear is what controls us and stops us from doing stupid shit..
 
Not to dick size as I wholeheartedly agree "Fuck Benzos All Day!!!" but reading this really made me reflect on my current benzo tolerance/ taper. After being on and off benzos for years, I can eat 8-10mgs of Clonazepam and/or Alprazolam and get NOTHING from them.

However, when I was younger and more rebellious I did some time in jail for LSD and MDMA convictions and on the first 3-5 days, you are basically in an intake cage with 12-50 people going in and out.

During those 3 days, I firmly recall about 9 stories regarding why people were in jail starting with "I took a bunch of xanax bars and ......" lol
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top