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Sad When the funeral is over and everyone goes home…

Truelove33

Truelove33

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2022
Messages
57
Hi bluelight friends… real grief has moved in. Laid on the bedroom floor where I found my boyfriends dead body.. I could feel the stiffness of the carpet from his dried blood on my cheek. I cried until the tears were dry.. I’m scared this sadness will engulf my soul 💔
 
Truelove33 said:
Hi bluelight friends… real grief has moved in. Laid on the bedroom floor where I found my boyfriends dead body.. I could feel the stiffness of the carpet from his dried blood on my cheek. I cried until the tears were dry.. I’m scared this sadness will engulf my soul 💔
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This is a really hard time of grief... Nothing can ever prepare you for pain like this. The heaviest, most unbearable heartbreak of them all. Everyone has paid their respects and goes on with their lives, but you're there feeling completely hollow and alone thinking well what the fuck happens now?? I am so sorry you're going through this honey. There's no other way through this than to cry all the tears, scream, yell, wail, punch the pillow, fall in to a crumpled heap, rinse and repeat, until one day it starts to hurt a tiny bit less, and it starts to get a little bit easier. Grief never really goes away, but you learn to work with it and make it part of your journey. It definitely makes you stronger, although you have to go through this horrendous stage first. But please know that it will get easier, I promise.
I'm crying with you <3
 
Truelove33 said:
Hi bluelight friends… real grief has moved in. Laid on the bedroom floor where I found my boyfriends dead body.. I could feel the stiffness of the carpet from his dried blood on my cheek. I cried until the tears were dry.. I’m scared this sadness will engulf my soul 💔
Click to expand...
That's awful. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find some peace with it. He will always be with you. Sending you lots of love ❤️
 
I'm so sorry to hear about this, my condolences @Truelove33 . I cannot even put into words besides you have a powerful support network here, and all these people that truly care.
I recently lost a friend due to suicide, and he was like a world of warcraft guild mate from the day, and i thought was okay. It's sad, anywho,much love ,and get with any of us if you feel some type of way, ❤️
 
I often wonder if his extreme use so quickly caused him to OD. Money was no issue and I’m not educated in amount vs cost. I’m pretty sure it was $100 every few days. He literally died 3 weeks after his first hit. I was with him the night before he passed but left cus he was using. Hit after hit after hit. Are the odds of a new user OD’ing higher than a long time user?
 
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