junkienogooder
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2017
- Messages
- 7
If there's anyone reading this who is toying with the idea of trying heroin...DON'T DO IT!!! Run like hell & pray! It will destroy you, your life, and take away EVERYTHING that you love & that matters to you most. I got the idea to try it 2 years ago following my divorce & an extended bout with severe depression. Needless to say, I was determined to get a taste of that high and even contemplated a good hot dose, you know rock star style, before even trying it. I had just turned 40 & had managed to live a very successful & fulfilling life to that point. I am now 42 and admit with tremendous shame that I've lost everything that I had worked so hard to obtain. My long-standing 750+ credit score is now in the upper 400' s, car was repossessed a few months ago, my boyfriend & I were forced to move in with his parents, the collection calls never stop, & worst of all, I rarely see my children anymore. Up until this past year, I could proudly say that I had never been fired from a job...I've been fired 4 times this past year alone & all within 2 weeks of being hired, talk about a massive blow to the self-esteem! To add insult to injury, I've died 7 times, my arms are scarred for life, & I have Hep C. My eyes are tearing up and I can barely swallow as I describe the sad reality of my pathetic existence & realize the extent of damage I've single-handedly done...my life is essentially ruined. But truly the saddest, scariest, and truest thing about it all is that I'm not done yet & I'm not sure if or when I ever will be. I can't accept where I am or who I've become, getting back to where I was in life seems an impossibility, so I continue to use in order to cope & face another painful day. Most would've had enough by now, but I can't seem to get enough. It is said that the bottom reached to make someone cry "enough" is different for everyone. Well mine is absolutely ridiculous. When will I finally have enough???
I can't imagine a bottom any lower than where I am now...quite frightening to think about.
I can't imagine a bottom any lower than where I am now...quite frightening to think about.