Misc What's your cycle of insanity?

[axe battler]

So for me, for the last fuck knows how long, I seem to get paid, order benzos/pregabalin/zopiclone online and have butterflies in my stomach until they land and kick in...
I'm waiting until tomorrow's delivery so of course I can't stay sober so I'm drinking beer. I'm fighting my instinct to phone and get some crack and smack whilst I wait, but the crack will just make me poor for the rest of the month and the smack will do fuck all as I'm on maintenance 95ml methadone daily.

When my pregabalin and zopiclone come tomorrow I'll immediately take 300-600mg pregabalin and then in the evening 20-40mg zopiclone.

When the etizolam comes I'll probably black out for a week until that's gone and then get bits and pieces here and there until next month?

Anyone else so self aware yet so helpless???

Love y'all

 

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So for me, for the last fuck knows how long, I seem to get paid, order benzos/pregabalin/zopiclone online and have butterflies in my stomach until they land and kick in...
I'm waiting until tomorrow's delivery so of course I can't stay sober so I'm drinking beer. I'm fighting my instinct to phone and get some crack and smack whilst I wait, but the crack will just make me poor for the rest of the month and the smack will do fuck all as I'm on maintenance 95ml methadone daily.

When my pregabalin and zopiclone come tomorrow I'll immediately take 300-600mg pregabalin and then in the evening 20-40mg zopiclone.

When the etizolam comes I'll probably black out for a week until that's gone and then get bits and pieces here and there until next month?

Anyone else so self aware yet so helpless???

Love y'all

Sounds like a bike ride I had with a mate recently. I didn't own a decent bike so borrowed his old one. Back gear was stuck and the brakes didn't move. So, while he glided through the hills, troughs and mountains, I had to plough them. Wasn't as much fun.

It's easy for me to sit here and say abstain, it's harder to put that into practice. Even worse for me to sit here and complain.

One day at a time, take it as it is, one challenge and one accomplishment at a time, you'll get there.

It ain't a race, no one's rushing you and you'll get there.

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