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What to do when you're hopelessly in love with someone you probably can't have?

H

helpmyheart

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I've been in love with this man for nearly a decade now, and I even worked with him for a year. He's my cousin. Yes, it's fucked up, but it is what it is. I didn't choose to fall for him. We didn't know each other as kids, but met in our teens and instantly bonded. There was lots of tension but nothing really happened. Then in my early college years, I started working for him and this lasted for nearly a year until the emotional stress made me very nearly (or completely, depending on who you ask) lose my mind. While working, we bonded so much but he was already married, albeit extremely unhappily and only stayed for kid. We came so close to making a move so many times. Working for him and getting paid as badly as I did (it was a new start up business), I just couldn't handle it anymore, and even though I'm currently in another ok relationship, all I can think about is him. He's the only man who made me understand what love feels like. I definitely know he's into me (he has straight up told me I was "extremely attractive" and is always touchy, though it's mutual). I think he may even love me. He'd always be looking for excuses to stay overtime and work with me, but really we always just ended up talking about anything and everything. I've never felt such a deep connection with anyone else. I don't know if I should try and get it touch with him again or somehow try to forget him forever, but the latter has not been working for over 9 years. He's not like any other infatuation I've had. This is the only love that deep that I've ever known. What should I do?


And as for his wife and our family-well, the family is completely dysfunctional and broken apart so that doesn't really matter. They're done far worse shit. And his wife (I know her) is a genuinely abusive cunt who openly admitted to me that she trapped him into pregnancy by lying about her birth control. She literally told me that.

I'm not saying I want to run off with him, but how do I get over this? Would it be that bad of an idea to have an affair?

I've never been happy in any relationship because I compare every man to him. He really is perfect for me, he understands me like no one else and we were each other's best and only real friends at one point.

:(
 
This is an extremely rare case. I personally would stay far away and not get involved no matter how deep your feelings are towards him. Having an affair is never a good thing. Would you want someone to do that to you? I hope your answer is no. Messing around with family like that is wrong imo, but thats just my view. At the end of the day, you're going to do what you want. I just broke up with the love of my life of 2 years. I will forever have her in my heart and compare her to everyone, as she was the most special thing Ive ever met. With that being said, it doesn't mean they're the right match for you. I wish you the best.
 
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